He's Not Gay, He Just Has Sex with Men

Larry Craig, Republican Senator from Idaho, does not support gay rights. He does not approve of gay marriage. Hey, he doesn't want to marry them, he just wants them to suck his dick. How come the most anti-gay Republicans keep turning up in gay scandals? Ted Haggard, Mark Foley, and now Larry Craig.

A few years ago I conducted job search and life skills classes for Food Stamp recipients. One of the speakers I asked to talk to the group worked for an AIDS education agency. He came to our place and spoke about AIDS prevention. He said something that I'd never thought of before. He kept using the phrase "men who have sex with men." Someone finally asked him, "don't you mean gay?" No, he didn't. He explained that some men frequently have sex with other men, but don't consider themselves gay. Okay, I had never heard that before. But, I have since seen the phrase (MSM) used in most all of the AIDS information. So, Senator Craig may have told the truth at his press conference - he just has sex with men, but he's not gay. Nah, he didn't mean it that way. He just lies a lot.

On the Job Injury?

Three men and five women in Denmark have come down with gonorrhea that they contracted on the job. They work in the adult movie industry. Yes, STDs can be an on-the-job injury, if you work in the right job. The Danish government requires that these actors get tested for gonorrhea every 30 days. It appears that monthly isn't frequent enough. If you want to work in the adult industry in England, you have to have a verification of testing completed within the last five days. Wow! I guess it's sorta like a baseball pitcher, you have to have several days of rest after each performance.

All that Glitters Is Not Gold

According to Adam Levine, Maria Sharapova isn't all she's cracekd up to be. He's the singer for Maroon 5 who gave an intervew to a Russian magazine named Exile. Why would he say that? Well, he had a short relationship with her a while back. What did he say exactly? He said that going to bed with Ms. Sharapova is "a disaster." He said he was so disillusioned that it was worse than when he found out there was no Santa Claus. Wow! Really? He even says the didn't enjoy it one bit, and had to go on antidepressants for a month.

He said that she just lays there and refuses move in complete silence. All that in spite of the fact that he had long fantasized about her. He says that if you try to say anything to her, she gets mad, clams up, and doesn't move.

But, think about it...she does all that shrieking and moving on court, she just doesn't have anything left for the bedroom. I just wonder how Ms. Sharapova might rate Mr. Levine. Maybe he needs more than antidepressants.

Auto-Castration

I don't mean getting rid of your car either. No, I mean a man castrating himself, at least sort of. Just what could bring a man to do such a thing? Well, 62 year old Russel Angus Daniel had this pain in his nuts, you see. And his regular doctor wouldn't castrate him, so he found two "surgeons" on the Internet to do it for him. They castrated him on his kitchen table, and left him to bleed to death. He had to go to the emergency room for treatment. He won't say who did it, because he doesn't want to cause them any trouble.

Note: I searched Google Images for some castration photos, but decided it best not to post one. Oh, believe me, it wasn't because I couldn't find any. They just don't...look...very...nice.

A Good Omen?

During the Conference for International Dialogue in Malaysia between Asian and African countries, a strange rainbow appeared. It had a circular shape. Could God have been smiling on the effort? I hope so. If not, she sure missed a good chance. One of the delegates took this image.

Hair Club for Cows?

Not exactly. A barber in Colombia, Ancizar Duque, has discovered a successful treatment for baldness. He has a cow named Simona who handles it for you. What's it take? Mr. Duque has Simona lick your scalp which makes your hair grow back. The "treatment" costs $55.00 for twelve sessions including the syrup he puts on your head to get Simona to lick it. Uh...huh! Okaaaay, but is it worth it? Mr. Duque says he has 200 customers who have had the cure. He even has before and after photos.

Oscar el Gato Sabe

Sí es cierto. Oscar, un gato rescatado de una vida callejera, puede predecir el momento de la muerte. El gato en cuestión reside en el tercer piso un centro para ancianos in Rhode Island. Dentro del año y medio pasado ha predicho la muerte de 25 pacientes. Oscar visita a un paciente y cuando hace unos giros en la cama de la persona, las enfermeras saben que la persona está al punto de morir. Entonces, llaman a la familia, amigos, etc. ¿Cómo es así?

How Will YOU Be Remembered?

Natasha Bedingfield revealed (pun intended) after the Concert for Diana in London earlier this month that she didn't have any panties on under her skirt. Later, at the Live Earth concert she said that she wants "to be known for my face and my music - not for my vagina." I don't think she gets to choose. Photo by AP, but where's the proof?

Call from the Barak Obama Campaign

Me: Hello
Caller: Mr. Brooks?
Me: Yes.
Caller: I'm calling from the Barak Obama for President Campaign. First, thank you for taking my call. We need your help. We need your help today to bring a change to America...
Me: (interrupting) Until those Democrats impeach that son-of-a-bitch who's in office, I'm not doin' anything for you. (hang up)

I sent an email to Nancy Pelosi last fall just after she said that "impeachment is off the table" that if they didn't impeach the President, I wouldn't have any more to do with them. Fortunately, I got the chance to tell someone else that. I know they don't give a shit, but I'll tell them anyway.

So, if any Democratic operatives happen to see this little note, I've been a Democrat all my voting life, but I'm finished with you guys if you don't have the balls to confront that bunch of war criminals in the White House. I don't think I'm alone.

Postmodern Communication

Driving home from my dad’s doctor appointment. My cell phone rings.

Me: Hello
Dad: (Pointing to McDonald’s) You want to go there and get a sandwich?
Goddess: (on the cell phone) Are you on your way to work?
Me: (to Goddess) No, we’re on the way home from the doctor.
Dad: It’s right over there (pointing two lanes over)
Me: (to Dad) Yeah, but I was going to go another way.
Goddess: What?
Me: (to Goddess) I was trying to do two things at once.
Goddess: Oh, Papa was talking?
Me: (to Goddess) Yeah, he wanted to go to McDonald’s.
Goddess: Oh, he wants you to stop there?
Me: Yeah, because he hasn’t eaten yet, you know.
Goddess: Oh yeah.
Me: (to Goddess) Is there a McDonald’s on 79?
Dad: Huh?
Goddess: What?
Me: (to Goddess) Is there a McDonald’s on 79?
Goddess: Hell, I don’t know.

Gender Parity

No longer do women demand potty parity, now they demand cow parity. Women have long complained about the inequality of men's and women's rest rooms. Women have to wait and wait for a stall, while men just piss in the trashcan or the sink if there's nothing left (well, I've never done that, but I've seen it done). Yes, I've seen both of those things at the same place in fact. It happened at a Jerry Jeff Walker concert at the Fort Worth Convention Center about 30 years ago.

Anyway, now women in Spain have started a campaign to have a Running of the Cows along with the Running of the Bulls. They say that cows have four legs too, and a natural tendency to run, so they should get to run along with the bulls. Well, not exactly run with them, but they should have their own run through Pamplona. Uh, has anyone asked the cows?

Psst...Wanna Test Condoms?

The Australian condom company Durex seeks volunteers to test their product. Yeah, it's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it. They want 200 "good men" to put their condoms to the test. Think you're up for it?

Happy Birthday America!

Still young at 231. Let's try living up to our promise. We have a long way to go to get our self-respect back, but we can do it.

Romulus and Remus?

No! And that ain't a she-wolf nursing those two either. It is twins though. Twins from Poland. One is President the other one Prime Minister. And the woman? That's Angela Merkel the German Chancellor. Poland and Germany, never the best of friends, had a little tiff recently, and the Poles got their way. At least for a little while.

Now, that's some political satire!

Dragonfly in My Backyard

I took this photo yesterday afternoon in my backyard.

CCCP

Russians explored Alaska before other white men did, and therefore, tourist shops up there carry a lot of Russophile merchandise. The Goddess bought me a T-shirt with the old Soviet symbol on it with the letters CCCP like we used to see on all their hockey players jerseys. Of course, those letters come from the Cyrillic alphabet and not the Roman. If you transliterate them, you'd have SSSR. The Enlish translation comes out to USSR. But, the nostalgia makes the point, not the letters.

Looking for Church Services Near You?

Well, I found them near me. In traffic that is. Yeah, Church Services. But take a close look at that little yellow part on the left. Church Pest Control, yeah, I'll bet that one is popular with the pastors. They'd love to get rid of those troublesome pests at church. And I ain't talkin' 'bout mice!

Long Held Grudge

In June of 1996 the Texas Employment Commission transformed into the Texas Workforce Commission. That happened upder the governorship of George W. Bush. Eleven years have passed since then, but resentments and grudges still hold fast. TWC recently remodeled all the doors and hallways in the building. I took the photo you see today. If you slide the nameplate to the left a little, you'll see a little sticker behind it. Let's have a little closer look. Click on the photo below. Well, how about that? Now, this grudge has to have remained alive, because we just got new doors and nameplates for them. Oh yeah.

Mendenhall Glacier

On the same trip that we saw the whales and eagles, we went to the Mendenhall Glacier. It's really something to see. The weather was pretty miserable, cold and rainy in the 40s. We got to the glacier about 7:00 pm. Of course, up at 58 degrees north it stays light until about 10:00 pm. Anyway, it's in a park which has a rain forest too. Rain forest in Alaska? Yeah, it's true. Anyway, Mendenhall was great, even if the weather was lousy.

Alaska Fauna

We went whale watching in Juneau. Went out on a boat that guarantees you will see a whale or they give you $100 of your fee back. They claim to never have had to pay the $100 in 11 years of business. Well, we weren't the first ones to get the bucks either. I'd say we saw five or six whales. Some law somewhere says that boats can't follow one of these animals for more than 30 minutes. So, what happens is that one boat tracks it for 30 minutes than another boat picks up just after that. Oh well. The law is supposed to keep from stressing the animals, but it probably just makes it last longer.

Not only did we see whales on the outing, but we saw sea lions and eagles. In fact, I bet we saw 6 or 7 eagles in the bus on the way to the whale watching place. They're just all over the place.