We Come From Quebec

A French-speaking (?) seeing eye dog from Montreal is preventing his owner from being accepted into an intensive English course at a university in New Brunswick. The owner had to sign a pledge to give his dog commands in English. The problem is that the dog doesn't understand commands in any language except French, and to try to make it bi-lingual (?) is too late. Can't teach an old dog new language tricks.

Republican Jesus

Yes, friends, he has made his Second Coming and this time He's gonna do the crucifyin'! Don't say I didn't warn you.

How Many Jihadis Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

It takes six. Three to hold the assault rifles, one to shoot a really bad video, one to post it online, and one to behead the bulb.