It's Been a Busy Week

This week has seen the assassination of the former Prime Minister of Lebanon, Dear Leader Kim Jong Il's birthday, North Korea and Iran announcing nuclear visions, Syria in hot water over the assassination, Syria and Iran (as if they both needed more heat) announced an agreement to defend themselves from the US, and it was Valentine's Day for God's sake! But, the biggest news (which came from a European source) is that the Pope is dead and that Osama Bin Laden is actually in the Vatican posing as the Pope. It's true! I know it's hard to believe, but they can do wonders with extreme make-overs nowadays. Although, I'm not sure why a middle-aged Arab with a full beard would want to become an old, old Polack with Parkinson's disease, but my source is impeccable. Take it to the bank!

Speak French to Avoid Delinquency

A new study in France has determined that the reason children of immigrants turn to delinquency is that they don't speak French. What a novel idea! Why haven't we thought of it before? Now, all we have to do is teach the Bloods, Crips, and Mara Salvatrucha to speak French. Pas problem!