Now All He Needs Is a Talk Show


In making his threats to Americans, Osama Bin Laden suggested that we read a little known book called, Rogue State. After Osama's "speech" recently, the book shot up the sales list to number 18. I wonder which author Bush will recommend during the State of the Union Address. Marvel Comics?

Parrot Reveals a Woman's Cheating

Chris Taylor had a girlfriend named Suzy Collins. The reason he doesn't have her still is because of his pet parrot. The parrot, named Ziggy started saying, "Hi Gary!" and making kissing sounds everytime Suzy's cell phone rang. This caused Chris some concern, but he thought the bird had heard it from television. It turns out that Ziggy was just repeating what he heard Suzy say.

One afternoon while Chris and Suzy were sitting around together the bird blurted out, "I love you, Gary." It turns out that Suzy had been "entertaining" Gary in Chris's apartment, and the bird heard it all. Hah! Caught!

The real sad news is that Chris had to give Ziggy away, because he couldn't bear to listen to Ziggy repeating his rival's name. Awwk!

Je Voulais Le Manger, mais Pas Le Tuer


Armin Meiwes, the Cannibal, said in court that he wanted to eat his victim, but not kill him. He was hoping that the victim would die or commit suicide. I suppose when Bernd Jürgen Brandes didn't kill himself and didn't bleed to death, Armin did what he had to do. They had cut Bernd's penis off and had shared it as an appetizer. I mean you can only wait for the main course for so long.