South Korean Threatens Swiss Embassy

A South Korean man called directory assistance to request the phone number of the Swiss Embassy, because he was going "over there to blow the place up." Why? South Korea lost to Switzerland in the World Cup and was eliminated from the tournament. At least it wasn't over something stupid like cartoons of Mohammed!

More Than He Ever Dreamed Of


Charles Lennon had a problem with impotence back in 1996 (before Viagra). He had surgery to put an implant in his penis that would make it become erect when it was "sexually handled." Well, that didn't happen. Instead he was rewarded with a permanent erection. Ten year hard-on, folks. What's that old saying - be careful what you ask for, you just might get it? So, what did he get for his trouble? He got $400,000. The McDonald's hot-coffee-spiller got more than that!

Oh, and one other thing...Mr. Lennon still has the hard-on. He can't undergo surgery to remove it due to other health reasons. Sounds like a career in porn would be just the thing.

That Other Florida Story

CNN and everyone else is all lit up about the Al-Qaeda cell in Miami. It's probably going to turn out to be a bunch of young fuck-ups thinking they were tough. Anyway, that's not the other Florida story.

The other story is about Mr. Enrique Garcia from Stuart, Florida who was caught in flagrante delicto fucking his puppy "Snoopy." Authorities found him completely unclothed and uh...well...penetrating the dog in the woods behind his house. (No photos needed, right?) What did he have to say for himself? "It's my dog, what's the problem?" Well...that's Florida for ya. No wonder they voted for Bush and elected his brother Governor.

Hell, I Could Do That!

The US Army reports that Saddam Hussein has ended his hunger strike. So, how long was it? From dinner one night to breakfast the next morning? That's what breakfast means by the way, breaking the overnight fast. Man, that Saddam sure is noble, isn't he?

Oh, What a Noble Figure!


Get this...Saddam Hussein has gone on a hunger strike. One of the most self-centered, self-indulgent, assholes in human history goes on a hunger strike, because his lawyers keep getting killed. Wow, that's a page right out of Gandhi! What a pacifist! Don't make me gag.

I Thought Only Men Did That

A 79 year-old grandmother became so jealous of her ex-boyfriend (?) that she shot him dead after he ended their relationship. The police showed up and found her in a bathrobe and hairnet waving her pistol around. She said, "I did it, and I will do it again." Just what did she do? She shot the man five times in the head. Yeah, five times in the head.

NYC Number One

You ain't gonna believe this, but New York City is the most courteous city in the world. That's according to Reader's Digest anyway. Could that possibly be true? It's sure they're reputation, now it it?

Male or Female Brain

Men and women have differences in their brains. Duh! Well, anyway you can find out which kind of brain you have. Click here.

You Call That Lunch?


Well, yeah, that's what you call it when you eat in the middle of the day, isn't it?
Peanut butter, crackers, and a bottle of water with apple cider vinegar. No, it's not a fresh bottle of Ozarka. I'm too cheap for that.

iPodding to Work


Yes, that's me listening to my iPod. Actually I was listening to a podcast called "Langsam Gesprochene Nachrichten" from Deutsche Welle. That means "Slowly Spoken News" for people who are trying to learn German. Hey, somebody's gotta do it!