So THAT'S Why...

The CDC has announced that teens are screwing less and eating more. Hmmm...is that why newly-weds almost always start getting fat right after the wedding ceremony?

Maybe He Should Worry About His Priests First

The Pope is worried about American society's "soulless vision of life." How about the vision of his pedophile priests that they protected for so long? Wake up, old man, the world is steaming right on by.

What's with these One-Eyed Mullahs?

The British police arrested Abu Hamza today due to an American request. We're going to try to extradite him. Abu Hamza has only one good eye. Then there's that Mullah Omar of Taliban fame who is known as the One-Eyed Mulla. Then what about that cleric, Sheikh Abdul Omar Rahman, we have in prison in New York who was behind the first WTC bombing? That fucker's completely blind! He doesn't even have one eye. Is there some subtle metaphysical hint here that these guys are symbolically fucking blind? I would say open your eyes to them, but that wouldn't help.

Now They Tell Us!

Not only did we get sucker punched by the Iraqis, now it looks like we got bamboozled by the Iranians. Things are never what they seem!

18,000 Strong and Still Growing!

According to the International Institute of Strategic Studies, Al Qaeda has 18,000 members around the world, and their recruitment has grown due to the war in Iraq. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot! George, how are you still walking with so many bullets in your feet?

Please, Please, Go Help Someone Else!

We have helped the Iraqis to over 5500 dead since Bush declared "Mission Accomplished." Don't you feel good to be such a help to the Iraqi people?