Those German Criminals Sure Are Crafty


Authorities in German prisons confront an unexpected problem. You see, the prisoners are text messaging each other with cell (get it? Jail cell phones.) phones. When it comes to prisoners, I doubt they're asking each other about the weather. Regulations prohibit cell phones in prisons, but they're regularly smuggled into the facilities inside body cavities. Okay, I'm trying to picture that. What if you forgot and left it on, then received a call?

A Brother Blogger

Thanks to one of the Old Europeans (who really are good for more than just being our early warning system for bird flu), I'd like to draw your attention to a brother blogger's site: Al Gathafi. This guy is amazing! He can turn adjectives into verbs, and make letters come out of his nose! Don't believe me?

Kick 'Em When They're Down


Officials of United Russia, the party in power, announced that Lenin's lease on his tomb is up, and his body will have to vacate the premises. I suppose it's kind of an eviction. They say he has two options (well, not him exactly). He can move to a cemetery in either Moscow or St. Petersburg. Or the Communist Party can have his body, and can build a new mausoleum at their own expense. Just proves that old question, "But, what have you done for me lately?"

Correction!

In a post last night I said that Minister Verdonk was minister of education in the Netherlands. That's wrong. She is minister of Alien Affairs and Integration. But, I'm stickin' with my notion that she's using old photos of herself. Well, at least De Telegraaf is.

His Own Daddy's Law

George H. W. Bush (Daddy) worked especially hard to get a law passed that would make it a crime to disclose the identity of any undercover CIA agents. George W. Bush (Son) specifically authorized Lewis Libby to disclose the identity of an undercover CIA agent to the press. I think there's some kind of Oedipal thing going on here.

Let me just say that after the Tom DeLay resignation, I didn't think it could get any better. I was wrong! As our President said himself, "Bring 'em on!"

28 Times in a Week

Hmmm...that comes out to 4 times a day. Whoa! Yes, once again, a female school teacher named Rachel Holt has had sex with one of her young students. This time it's another 13 year old. But, what impresses me is this sentence from the article: "Nach Angaben der Behörden hatte die Lehrerin in der letzten Märzwoche 28 Mal sexuellen Verkehr mit dem Jungen gehabt." It's been a long time since I took German, but I believe this is saying that authorities claim the teacher had sexual relations with the young boy 28 times in the last week of March. Talk about March Madness!

Bee Stings for Nasal Relief


A doctor in China treats sinusitis, which I'm suffering from right now, with bee stings. I haven't reached that point yet, but the longer this goes on the more reasonable it sounds.

10 Best Cities for Vegetarians

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has published a list of the 10 best large cities in the US for vegetarians. Austin comes in at number 8. No, I'm not a vegetarian...at least not yet.

Minister Verdonk Getting Younger

Today
Earlier
Rita Verdonk, Minister of Education in the Netherlands, said in her campaign speech that she is "not left, not right, but straightforward." Well, if you're so straightforward, why is your photo in the newspaper so out of date? Trying to look as young as the competition?

I Think He Just Did

Could This Be Tantric?

I've read from Tantric websites that it's possible for men to have orgasms without ejaculating. I think maybe I just did! What brought that about?

I just read up on Tom DeLay's resignation from Congress! Oh, Oh, ah, ah, uhn, uhn, UHN! It feels so good, I can't describe it! The Bugman takes the gas...the Hammer hits his own dick...the Powerful takes it in the ass! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ha, ha, ha, ha, (sorry I can't stop)...

Root Canal


Last Thursday night the Goddess began to have a toothache. Then on Friday morning the pain had become much worse. She called the dentist and went in to get it taken care of. The dentist said that she should take some antibiotics and come back in a week, then he could take appropriate steps.

Over the weekend the pain just continued to get worse. This morning she called the dentist's office again, and they referred her to an endodontist. Neither of us had heard that term before, but we figured it had something to do with a root canal. Well, it sure does. In fact, the endodontist that she saw does nothing but root canals. Probably not a bad living, but I don't think I'd like the reputation. I drove her to the appointment, because she was feeling so bad, and had taken so much pain medication.

She's still not feeling so good, but she is doing better.

It May Look Like Mexico, It May Sound Like Mexico, but It Ain't Mexico


It's Houston, for God's sake! Authorities on the Houston School Board ordered a Houston high school principal to take a Mexican flag down that he had hoisted up the flag pole in front of the school. It's not like he put it up there by itself. He flew it under the US and Texas flags on the same pole. Not good by Houston Independent School District standards even though the school is 88% hispanic.

Be Like Mike?


Not Michael Jordan, but Mike Tyson. Tyson was set to visit Shanghai to open a new nightclub. He was supposed to be named an honorary citizen of Shanghai too. Ah, but someone looked into his past, and, well, they decided to drop the idea. Hah, I guess they don't watch the E! channel.