Colombia Ain't Got No Oil, That's Why
More car bombs go off in Colombia that anywhere else. More random terrorism there than anywhere else. Are we bombing the shit out of the terrorists there? No, they're not sitting on an ocean of oil, for God's sake. Of course, the "War on Drugs" has been going on for 20 to 25 years, and the FARC just seem to get stronger. But, we haven't been dropping "daisy cutters" on them all this time either. I know, let's hire the FARC to go over to Afghanistan and take care of that Osama problem we've got. Just tell 'em that he didn't pay up on a drug shipment, he'd be dead in a week!
Saturday, February 08, 2003
Friday, February 07, 2003
I Am Curious Orange
The nation stands at terror warning level Orange. High risk. So, what am I supposed to do? Watch my cul-de-sac a little more attentively than I have been at Yellow? Am I supposed to eye the cashier at the convenience store with more scrutiny (no, he's not Middle-Eastern in appearance), even though he's been working there since before we got the color warnings? When watching TV, am I supposed to be more vigilant about coded messages in the scripts of "Will and Grace?" C'mon, just what am I supposed to do differently in my John Doe life? So far, every John and Jane Doe's report of someone else's suspicious activity has turned out to be imaginations run wild. Should I re-instate the duck and cover drills they had in schools back in the '50s? Help me out here, what do I do?
The nation stands at terror warning level Orange. High risk. So, what am I supposed to do? Watch my cul-de-sac a little more attentively than I have been at Yellow? Am I supposed to eye the cashier at the convenience store with more scrutiny (no, he's not Middle-Eastern in appearance), even though he's been working there since before we got the color warnings? When watching TV, am I supposed to be more vigilant about coded messages in the scripts of "Will and Grace?" C'mon, just what am I supposed to do differently in my John Doe life? So far, every John and Jane Doe's report of someone else's suspicious activity has turned out to be imaginations run wild. Should I re-instate the duck and cover drills they had in schools back in the '50s? Help me out here, what do I do?
Thursday, February 06, 2003
Intercept
The following is a transcript of an intercepted telephone conversation in January, 2003 between Lieutenant Patrick Flannigan and Corporal Jesus Abel Guerra at the US Detention facility at Guantanamo, Cuba.
Lt. Flannigan: Hello, HQ, Flannigan.
Cpl. Guerra: Sir, Guerra speaking, there�s something going on here with one of the prisoners, Sir.
Lt. Flannigan: Yeah, yeah, what�s new?
Cpl. Guerra: Sir, I believe one of them is trying to kill himself, sir!
Lt. Flannigan: So,...whadaya want me to do about it? Just one less towel-head if you ask me. He was going to martyr himself for the Jihad anyway...
Cpl. Guerra: But, sir, I�m serious, he�s like rolling his sheet up, so it would be like a rope. I think he�s trying to hang himself, sir!
Lt. Flannigan: Don�t go makin� judgements about someone else�s religion, Corporal. That�s their way of signifyin� that there is only one God. He�s making the bed sheet into a one. Don�t worry about it, son.
Cpl. Guerra: With all due respect, Sir, but he�s forming it into a circle, or something...he looks really morose, sir, I think it�s more than just the Shahada.
Lt. Flannigan: Shahada? What the fuck is that, Corporal? Don�t tell me you been studyin� up on them motherfuckers...
Cpl. Guerra: Well, yes sir, we all had to take a training class about Islam, before they shipped us over, sir.
Lt. Flannigan: So, what�s the deal, you thinkin� �bout convertin�?
Cpl. Guerra: No, sir, I come from a family of devout Catholics, sir.
Lt. Flannigan: Yeah, me too, I could tell you some stories that�d make your ass pucker, son, about when I was an altar boy. That son of a bitch Father Maloney, damn near ripped my asshole open...
Cpl. Guerra: Uh, sir, he�s like making it into a circle or something, sir.
Lt. Flannigan: I told you don�t go judging other people�s religion. He�s just simbolizin� that the universe is one, ruled by Allah. You know that one in all, all in one thing.
Cpl. Guerra: No sir, I mean he�s making it round on the end, like making a noose out of it.
Lt. Flannigan: Naaaw, you�re crazy... that�s what they do to mark off the holy ground he�s gonna kneel down in, I betcha he�s facin� east, ain�t he?
Cpl. Guerra: Yes sir, he is facing east, but I think that�s just a coincidence...sir, he�s tied the round part into a noose like I suspected, what do I do, sir?
Lt. Flannigan: Aw, just ask Mohammad if he�s ok...you know without disturbin� his religious ritual.
Cpl. Guerra: Mohammad? Sir, his name Rashid al-Hemdi...
Lt. Flannigan: Shit, Corporal, don�t you know they�re ALL named Mohammad? Just like all you Mexicans are named Jesus (GEE-zuhs). Just ask Mr. Mohammad Al-Fuckyersister if he�s ok.
Cpl. Guerra: Hey, you ok?...hey, you ok?...he�s ignoring me sir, and he�s tying the straight end onto the roof of his cage. Sir, he�s trying to KILL HIMSELF!
Lt. Flannigan: These towel-heads are real sensitive about their prayer time, so just leave him alone, I don�t want Washington callin� down here because some pussy from Amnesty International says we wouldn�t let them pray in their accustomed way. I�m tellin� ya, leave him alone!
Cpl. Guerra: Sir, please sir, he�s got the noose around his neck and he�s hanging from it. He�s got his knees bent, so he�ll hang by the neck.
Lt. Flannigan: Well, shit...ok, let the fucker hang there till his pisses in his pants, and then cut him down. Goddamn fuckin� towel-heads...
(delay while Corporal Guerra cuts down inmate, unintelligible words)
Cpl. Guerra: Ok, sir, he�s down, and he�s still breathing. I saved his life, sir!
Lt. Flannigan: Shit, Goddamnit... you bleeding heart little cunt face, now he�s gonna be whining about not getting to Paradise.
Rashid al-Hemdi: (translation from Arabic) You pig! What do you care? Why don�t you leave me alone? I want to go to Paradise! God is Great! There is no God, but God!
Lt. Flannigan: See you little fucker? I told you to leave him be!
Rashid al-Hemdi: (uninterrupted in background) Death to America! Death to the Infidels!...There is no God, but God, and Mohammad is...
The following is a transcript of an intercepted telephone conversation in January, 2003 between Lieutenant Patrick Flannigan and Corporal Jesus Abel Guerra at the US Detention facility at Guantanamo, Cuba.
Lt. Flannigan: Hello, HQ, Flannigan.
Cpl. Guerra: Sir, Guerra speaking, there�s something going on here with one of the prisoners, Sir.
Lt. Flannigan: Yeah, yeah, what�s new?
Cpl. Guerra: Sir, I believe one of them is trying to kill himself, sir!
Lt. Flannigan: So,...whadaya want me to do about it? Just one less towel-head if you ask me. He was going to martyr himself for the Jihad anyway...
Cpl. Guerra: But, sir, I�m serious, he�s like rolling his sheet up, so it would be like a rope. I think he�s trying to hang himself, sir!
Lt. Flannigan: Don�t go makin� judgements about someone else�s religion, Corporal. That�s their way of signifyin� that there is only one God. He�s making the bed sheet into a one. Don�t worry about it, son.
Cpl. Guerra: With all due respect, Sir, but he�s forming it into a circle, or something...he looks really morose, sir, I think it�s more than just the Shahada.
Lt. Flannigan: Shahada? What the fuck is that, Corporal? Don�t tell me you been studyin� up on them motherfuckers...
Cpl. Guerra: Well, yes sir, we all had to take a training class about Islam, before they shipped us over, sir.
Lt. Flannigan: So, what�s the deal, you thinkin� �bout convertin�?
Cpl. Guerra: No, sir, I come from a family of devout Catholics, sir.
Lt. Flannigan: Yeah, me too, I could tell you some stories that�d make your ass pucker, son, about when I was an altar boy. That son of a bitch Father Maloney, damn near ripped my asshole open...
Cpl. Guerra: Uh, sir, he�s like making it into a circle or something, sir.
Lt. Flannigan: I told you don�t go judging other people�s religion. He�s just simbolizin� that the universe is one, ruled by Allah. You know that one in all, all in one thing.
Cpl. Guerra: No sir, I mean he�s making it round on the end, like making a noose out of it.
Lt. Flannigan: Naaaw, you�re crazy... that�s what they do to mark off the holy ground he�s gonna kneel down in, I betcha he�s facin� east, ain�t he?
Cpl. Guerra: Yes sir, he is facing east, but I think that�s just a coincidence...sir, he�s tied the round part into a noose like I suspected, what do I do, sir?
Lt. Flannigan: Aw, just ask Mohammad if he�s ok...you know without disturbin� his religious ritual.
Cpl. Guerra: Mohammad? Sir, his name Rashid al-Hemdi...
Lt. Flannigan: Shit, Corporal, don�t you know they�re ALL named Mohammad? Just like all you Mexicans are named Jesus (GEE-zuhs). Just ask Mr. Mohammad Al-Fuckyersister if he�s ok.
Cpl. Guerra: Hey, you ok?...hey, you ok?...he�s ignoring me sir, and he�s tying the straight end onto the roof of his cage. Sir, he�s trying to KILL HIMSELF!
Lt. Flannigan: These towel-heads are real sensitive about their prayer time, so just leave him alone, I don�t want Washington callin� down here because some pussy from Amnesty International says we wouldn�t let them pray in their accustomed way. I�m tellin� ya, leave him alone!
Cpl. Guerra: Sir, please sir, he�s got the noose around his neck and he�s hanging from it. He�s got his knees bent, so he�ll hang by the neck.
Lt. Flannigan: Well, shit...ok, let the fucker hang there till his pisses in his pants, and then cut him down. Goddamn fuckin� towel-heads...
(delay while Corporal Guerra cuts down inmate, unintelligible words)
Cpl. Guerra: Ok, sir, he�s down, and he�s still breathing. I saved his life, sir!
Lt. Flannigan: Shit, Goddamnit... you bleeding heart little cunt face, now he�s gonna be whining about not getting to Paradise.
Rashid al-Hemdi: (translation from Arabic) You pig! What do you care? Why don�t you leave me alone? I want to go to Paradise! God is Great! There is no God, but God!
Lt. Flannigan: See you little fucker? I told you to leave him be!
Rashid al-Hemdi: (uninterrupted in background) Death to America! Death to the Infidels!...There is no God, but God, and Mohammad is...
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
Yugoslavia Dead!
The vote was 55 in favor of dissolving Yugoslavia, and 7 opposed. The same 7 voted in favor of awarding the "Excellence in Achievement Medal" to the engineers that designed the Yugo. Makes you nostalgic for the Yugo doesn't it?
The vote was 55 in favor of dissolving Yugoslavia, and 7 opposed. The same 7 voted in favor of awarding the "Excellence in Achievement Medal" to the engineers that designed the Yugo. Makes you nostalgic for the Yugo doesn't it?
How Dare Them!
The US claims that Iraq has not complied with the UN's desire for it to disarm. If memory serves, the US did not comply with its obligations to pay membership dues to the UN for like a decade. I think we've paid up now, but only after we got what we wanted. No one can ignore the will of the world (except us, of course).
The US claims that Iraq has not complied with the UN's desire for it to disarm. If memory serves, the US did not comply with its obligations to pay membership dues to the UN for like a decade. I think we've paid up now, but only after we got what we wanted. No one can ignore the will of the world (except us, of course).
The International Court
The World Court issued an order for the US to not carry out any executions of Mexican citizens on death row in the US. Mexico sued and evidently was convincing that the US has violated the Geneva Convention by denying Mexicans on death row access to consular help. This may be another of those World Court decisions that we selectively ignore. We only follow the ones that are in our favor.
The World Court issued an order for the US to not carry out any executions of Mexican citizens on death row in the US. Mexico sued and evidently was convincing that the US has violated the Geneva Convention by denying Mexicans on death row access to consular help. This may be another of those World Court decisions that we selectively ignore. We only follow the ones that are in our favor.
Tuesday, February 04, 2003
But, Would It Stand Up in Court?
A director of a children's charity commented on Michael Jackson's practice of letting children sleep in his bed with him, "This behaviour could be used as justification by people who want to harm or sexually abuse children as an excuse for their own behaviour." Can you imagine someone saying to the judge, "But, Your Honor, Michael Jackson does it"?
A director of a children's charity commented on Michael Jackson's practice of letting children sleep in his bed with him, "This behaviour could be used as justification by people who want to harm or sexually abuse children as an excuse for their own behaviour." Can you imagine someone saying to the judge, "But, Your Honor, Michael Jackson does it"?
Monday, February 03, 2003
Just Which One Is The New Age Religion?
The Vatican has warned us that following New Age therapies is false hope! Listed are Yoga, Feng Shui, and Shamanism. Probably each one of them is at least 2000 years older than Christianity. Would the real New Age religion please stand up?
The Vatican has warned us that following New Age therapies is false hope! Listed are Yoga, Feng Shui, and Shamanism. Probably each one of them is at least 2000 years older than Christianity. Would the real New Age religion please stand up?
If You Say It Enough Times, You Begin to Believe It
Ever since 9/11 Paul Wolfowitz, Deputy Secretary of Defense, has been trying to get us to believe that Iraq and Al-Qaeda are the same thing. He and his fellow travelers have been preaching this every chance they get. Never mind, that none of the intelligence sources can make the case. He's even got the President believing it. Well, this week Colin Powell is going to present the"proof" to the UN. If it's like other proofs they've offered, it will be less than convincing.
Ever since 9/11 Paul Wolfowitz, Deputy Secretary of Defense, has been trying to get us to believe that Iraq and Al-Qaeda are the same thing. He and his fellow travelers have been preaching this every chance they get. Never mind, that none of the intelligence sources can make the case. He's even got the President believing it. Well, this week Colin Powell is going to present the"proof" to the UN. If it's like other proofs they've offered, it will be less than convincing.
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