¡Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ol!


Finally the US gets a point in the World Cup! And against the Italians at that! Wow, with the Czechs losing to Ghana it's an open group. We're still not out of it, but it's going to be hard to win Group E for whoever does it. Three red cards in the game. Two of them on Americans.

Even Man's Best Friend Has Limits


Police in Modena, Utah spotted Nicholas T. Galanis on the street and wanted to talk to him about a suspected theft. Nick saw the cops too, and jumped into his car with his Pit Bull. Thus began a high-speed chase. The officers in pursuit noticed that the dog in the passenger seat was being thrown around the car hitting his head on the window. The wild ride eventually became too much for the dog. He bit Nick on the face and nose which left poor Nick missing a part of his nose. Two lessons here: 1) Don't run from the cops 2)If you do, don't bring your dog along.

Garden Gnome Liberation Front


There is an organization in Switzerland called the Garden Gnome Liberation Front that is going around "liberating" garden gnome statues. The estimated population of garden gnomes in Europe is 30 million. They've got a long way to go.

Your Freedom Fighter Is Our Terrorist


Or something like that. I had heard some "fringe nuts" say that Menachem Begin was a terrorist before he got respectable and became Prime Minister of Israel. He was a member of Irgun, I believe. The Irgun was the Hamas of its day, only it was Jewish. Anyway, now the story comes out that Begin sold his gold watch to finance an assassination attempt against Konrad Adenaur, the Chancellor of West Germany at the time.

Begin later shared the Nobel Peace Prize with Anwar Sadat. Now ain't that sumpthin'? Perhaps one day Osama will be one of our strongest allies. Hey, it's happened before!

Carrying Coal to Newcastle? How about STDs?


Some public employees in Britain working for the Department of the Environment in Newcastle are undergoing an investigation because they've been accused of having sex in the rest room by an anonymous co-worker. Now, I work for the government too (in Texas anyway), and I've seen what "public servants" look like. Believe me, they're not particularly attractive. But, I guess that's not the point, is it?

The "whistleblower" decries his co-workers' "depravity." Maybe the accused should accuse the whistleblower of "jealousy."

The President Is Worried


Yes, he says he's seriously concerned about the triple suicide at Guantanamo. He is? When did he become worried...just yesterday? So far, he hasn't been worried at all about it. I mean he has ignored the EU, UN, OAS, Amnisty International, Human Rights Watch, and everyone else that has said to close that prison down. There have been revelations galore about mistreatment of prisoners, desecration of the Koran (which is another thing entirely), torture dressed up as a "stress interview", and only God knows what else. None of those requests from international organizations or revelations about conditions have cause His Royal Highness any consternation at all.

I'm doubtful that his newfound concern is anything other than some kind of self-serving crap that he wants us to swallow. Doubtful might be to mild a word. Let me do that over. I'm convinced that his newfound concern is anything other than some kind of self-serving crap that he wants us to swallow.