The Bush Doctrine


A song by Randy Newman seems to sum up our President's take on foreign policy. Especially with respect to Iran.


No one likes us
I don't know why.
We may not be perfect
But heaven knows we try.
But all around even our old friends put us down.
Let's drop the big one and see what happens.

We give them money
But are they grateful?
No they're spiteful
And they're hateful.
They don't respect us so let's surprise them;
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them.

Now Asia's crowded
And Europe's too old.
Africa's far too hot,
And Canada's too cold.
And South America stole our name.
Let's drop the big one; there'll be no one left to blame us.

Bridge:
We'll save Australia;
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo.
We'll build an all-American amusement park there;
They've got surfing, too.

Well, boom goes London,
And boom Paris.
More room for you
And more room for me.
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town.
Oh, how peaceful it'll be;
We'll set everybody free;
You'll have Japanese kimonos, baby,
There'll be Italian shoes for me.
They all hate us anyhow,
So let's drop the big one now.
Let's drop the big one now.

All in the Name of World Peace

Porn star Ciccolina has offered herself (carnally) to Osama Bin Laden in the furtherance of world peace. I'm not sure how the two of them could meet up without giving away his location. She sure looks better than those women he's hangin' around with now.

Those German Criminals Sure Are Crafty


Authorities in German prisons confront an unexpected problem. You see, the prisoners are text messaging each other with cell (get it? Jail cell phones.) phones. When it comes to prisoners, I doubt they're asking each other about the weather. Regulations prohibit cell phones in prisons, but they're regularly smuggled into the facilities inside body cavities. Okay, I'm trying to picture that. What if you forgot and left it on, then received a call?

A Brother Blogger

Thanks to one of the Old Europeans (who really are good for more than just being our early warning system for bird flu), I'd like to draw your attention to a brother blogger's site: Al Gathafi. This guy is amazing! He can turn adjectives into verbs, and make letters come out of his nose! Don't believe me?

Kick 'Em When They're Down


Officials of United Russia, the party in power, announced that Lenin's lease on his tomb is up, and his body will have to vacate the premises. I suppose it's kind of an eviction. They say he has two options (well, not him exactly). He can move to a cemetery in either Moscow or St. Petersburg. Or the Communist Party can have his body, and can build a new mausoleum at their own expense. Just proves that old question, "But, what have you done for me lately?"

Correction!

In a post last night I said that Minister Verdonk was minister of education in the Netherlands. That's wrong. She is minister of Alien Affairs and Integration. But, I'm stickin' with my notion that she's using old photos of herself. Well, at least De Telegraaf is.

His Own Daddy's Law

George H. W. Bush (Daddy) worked especially hard to get a law passed that would make it a crime to disclose the identity of any undercover CIA agents. George W. Bush (Son) specifically authorized Lewis Libby to disclose the identity of an undercover CIA agent to the press. I think there's some kind of Oedipal thing going on here.

Let me just say that after the Tom DeLay resignation, I didn't think it could get any better. I was wrong! As our President said himself, "Bring 'em on!"

28 Times in a Week

Hmmm...that comes out to 4 times a day. Whoa! Yes, once again, a female school teacher named Rachel Holt has had sex with one of her young students. This time it's another 13 year old. But, what impresses me is this sentence from the article: "Nach Angaben der Behörden hatte die Lehrerin in der letzten Märzwoche 28 Mal sexuellen Verkehr mit dem Jungen gehabt." It's been a long time since I took German, but I believe this is saying that authorities claim the teacher had sexual relations with the young boy 28 times in the last week of March. Talk about March Madness!

Bee Stings for Nasal Relief


A doctor in China treats sinusitis, which I'm suffering from right now, with bee stings. I haven't reached that point yet, but the longer this goes on the more reasonable it sounds.

10 Best Cities for Vegetarians

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has published a list of the 10 best large cities in the US for vegetarians. Austin comes in at number 8. No, I'm not a vegetarian...at least not yet.

Minister Verdonk Getting Younger

Today
Earlier
Rita Verdonk, Minister of Education in the Netherlands, said in her campaign speech that she is "not left, not right, but straightforward." Well, if you're so straightforward, why is your photo in the newspaper so out of date? Trying to look as young as the competition?

I Think He Just Did

Could This Be Tantric?

I've read from Tantric websites that it's possible for men to have orgasms without ejaculating. I think maybe I just did! What brought that about?

I just read up on Tom DeLay's resignation from Congress! Oh, Oh, ah, ah, uhn, uhn, UHN! It feels so good, I can't describe it! The Bugman takes the gas...the Hammer hits his own dick...the Powerful takes it in the ass! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ha, ha, ha, ha, (sorry I can't stop)...

Root Canal


Last Thursday night the Goddess began to have a toothache. Then on Friday morning the pain had become much worse. She called the dentist and went in to get it taken care of. The dentist said that she should take some antibiotics and come back in a week, then he could take appropriate steps.

Over the weekend the pain just continued to get worse. This morning she called the dentist's office again, and they referred her to an endodontist. Neither of us had heard that term before, but we figured it had something to do with a root canal. Well, it sure does. In fact, the endodontist that she saw does nothing but root canals. Probably not a bad living, but I don't think I'd like the reputation. I drove her to the appointment, because she was feeling so bad, and had taken so much pain medication.

She's still not feeling so good, but she is doing better.

It May Look Like Mexico, It May Sound Like Mexico, but It Ain't Mexico


It's Houston, for God's sake! Authorities on the Houston School Board ordered a Houston high school principal to take a Mexican flag down that he had hoisted up the flag pole in front of the school. It's not like he put it up there by itself. He flew it under the US and Texas flags on the same pole. Not good by Houston Independent School District standards even though the school is 88% hispanic.

Be Like Mike?


Not Michael Jordan, but Mike Tyson. Tyson was set to visit Shanghai to open a new nightclub. He was supposed to be named an honorary citizen of Shanghai too. Ah, but someone looked into his past, and, well, they decided to drop the idea. Hah, I guess they don't watch the E! channel.

Smells Like April Fool's Day


According to the Bergen Tidens a giant iceberg has floated into Bergen a city in Norway. It's allegedly 50 meters long. Stewart Lindstrom with the Iceberg Research Center in New York says, "Completely unique. We've never registered an iceberg of this size so far south. That it would come into such a densly populated city has never happened before." Yeah, and it still hasn't!

Just Trying to Keep It Fresh

Police in Norway stopped a man who was driving erratically, because they suspected he was driving while drunk. It turns out that a man and woman were in the car, and the woman was uh, assisting the driver in producing and delivering a fresh sperm sample to the fertility clinic. The clinic told them that the sample had to be fresh, and they took that seriously.

Prayin' Don't Help


In fact, it just might hurt. So says a study by the John Templeton Foundation. They found that not only did praying not help recovery after heart surgery, of those that knew they were being prayed for, it made 59% have complications. It's like this: "Am I so sick that people are having to pray for me?"

Be Still My Heart!


Ding dong the witch is dead,
Which ol' witch?
The wicked witch
Ding dong the wicked witch is dead

Okay, so he may not be a witch, literally, but he's sure wicked! From the Dallas Morning News website:

A law enforcement official says a former aide to Rep. Tom DeLay has agreed to plead guilty to federal charges in lobbyist fraud investigation. Details to come.

And, that doesn't include the state charges! Send him up the river.

Passed the Test

I took my mother to the urologist today to do a "voiding test." They fill your bladder up with water, wait a little while, then you pee in a container. If you put out the same amount or more than what they put in, you pass. Well, she did. Evidently, her mishap yesterday with the dog fight and the catheter didn't cause any damage. Not bad for an 83 year old woman!

The Only Thing Worse than Her Dialog Are Her Breasts


That's what they're saying about Sharon Stone's new movie Basic Instinct 2. I don't know, I haven't seen it, but the tits must not be too bad, Hugh Hefner is offering her $1,000,000 to pose nude for Playboy.

Damned Unlucky Car

Dutch police stopped the same car Wednesday afternoon for drunk driving three times. You might ask, why did they keep letting the driver go? They didn't. Each time there was a new driver. The first driver was fined, and a passenger took the wheel. The police stopped the second driver and he was cited. Then, just two hours later the police stopped the same car with a third driver. This guy tried to get away on foot, but they caught him and he proved to be drunk too. He also had a suspended driver's license.

Just Wait Until Tomorrow

Okay, the doctor's office called back and I spoke to the nurse. She said that they will want to make sure Nana didn't do any damage, but that it can wait until the appointment she has tomorrow.

Nana says it doesn't hurt, but I don't see how. If you've ever seen a catheter...well, you'd know what I mean. It looks like a long tube with a ping-pong ball on the end. The ball is only slightly smaller than a ping-pong ball. The ball is what goes inside the bladder. So, jerking it out would hurt, I think. But, she says it doesn't.

I Guess Prison Would Be Better

Let's see if I got this straight. You can have porn in prison even if you're a sex offender, but you can't have porn in the military? Could that be right? Say it ain't so.

Ex-Cathedra or Ex-Catheter?

When the Pope speaks Ex-Cathedra it means he speaks with the authority of his office. Ex-cathedra literally means out of-chair, or speaking from his position of authority. That's when what he says is infallible. But, what is it when he speaks Ex-Catheter? I don't know, but we're gonna find out.

My mother just has surgery last week, and she has had a catheter since that time. She's been home since Friday, and we've been taking pains to deal with the catheter - you know keep her from getting an infection.

Well, this morning she accidentally pulled it out. Our two dogs got into a fight over a treat, and Nana went to break it up. Only before she knew it, she was across the room and the catheter which was hanging on her walker on the other side of the room was yanked out. Odd but true. The good thing is she doesn't have any pain. In fact, she says she feels fine.

Anyway, I'm waiting for a call back from her doctor, to see what to do. We try to keep the dull moments to a minimum around here ;-)

You Have the Right to Remain Silent and Read Porn


The Swedish high court ruled that a sex offender who was convicted of aggravated rape has the right to porn magazines in his jail cell. Prison officials had denied him access to his 20 hard core porn magazines. Allowing the prisoner to see porn ran counter the therapy he undergoes in prison. However, he demanded to have his porn, and he took it to court. The court determined that having therapy for sex offenders doesn't preclude him from his porn.

How (Many Times) Do You Say Divorce?


Sohela Ansari heard her husband, Aftab, say the word "talaq" three times in his sleep. According to Islamic law, if a husband utters the word "divorce", which is what talaq means, three times, then he and his wife must separate. The local clerics ordered the couple to separate, because his dream induced muttering constituted Aftab's request for a divorce. If they wish to be married again, they must stay separated 100 days, and Sohela must spend one night with another man and duly divorce him too. Talk about straining out gnats and swallowing camels!

This folks is the 2nd largest religion in the world, and one of the fastest growing in the USA. My question is: What the fuck for?

Put Down that Cancer Stick and Perk Up Your Dick


Australian researchers have concluded that men who some more than a pack of cigarettes per day have a 40% greater chance of suffering erectile dysfunction than those who don't smoke. Those who smoke, but smoke less than a pack per day have a 24% greater chance of having hard-on problems. Hey, what about those men who used to smoke, but have quit? Yeah, what about us!? For that matter, what about chix with dicks?

Ironic


Okay, so you have a "Zombie" party, and it turns into a bloodbath. There is a certain poetic justice in that, dontcha think? Of course, I'm not one to talk, I joke about that kind of thing all the time. When it comes do dyin', the justice is always poetic. I cast my vote for Chucky Cheese.

Look Ma, No Hands

Police in New Zealand stopped a motorist who was driving 121 kmh (72 mph) only to discover that the driver had no arms. The man drove using one foot to steer and one to push on the gas. He was born without arms, and never had gotten a driver's license.

Now, here in Texas, he would have gotten away with it, because the police would never stop someone driving just 2 mph over the speed limit. Now, if it was in the city, well, that's another matter.

You Can Bet It Wasn't a Party at Chucky Cheese


A man woke to the sound of six gunshots just after his alarm clock went off at 7:00 am in Seattle. When he looked out of his peep hole, he saw people stagger out of the rent house across the street. Then, out comes a man with a shotgun. A police officer in the neighborhood also heard the shots, and confronted the man holding the shotgun. The man then turned it on himself and fired.

Okay, now tell me, just what kind of a party is going on at 7:00 am? Uh, not one that started at 6:00 am. Must have been one going on all night. There's a reason Chucky Cheese isn't open 24 hours.

After All He's the President's Son

Charlie Sheen has declared that he doesn't believe the government's version of events on 9/11. Charlie was appearing on Alex Jones' radio show (that should tell you something), when he said that the government's story sounds more like a conspiracy theory than the conspiracy theories. If Charlie says so, then it must be true, because he's the President's son, right?

Whew! At Least It Wasn't in Texas

Once again a headline grabbing murder in an otherwise "Christian" home has taken place. Only for once, it didn't happen in Texas. Man, we needed a break. We've certainly had our share of women that kill all their kids. At least, Mrs. Winkler wasn't confused about God telling her to kill her kids. God was just telling her to kill her hubby. My own theory is that the Reverend Winkler was molesting one (or more) of the daughters.

Isn't it a little odd though that when men do this kind of thing, they usually turn the gun on themselves? What is it about the women that won't let them do that?

Severe Sinus Infection


I finally heard the results from my CAT scan. They say I have a severe sinus infection. I'm to take antibiotics for 3 weeks, and if it's not better, they'll refer me to an ENT specialist. ENT doesn't really mean extra nasal torture, but it might as well from what I hear.

But What Are They Going to Do with Them?

The state of Karnataka in India will pay almost €200 for each baby girl born to families below the poverty line. The idea is to cut down on abortions of female fetuses that is so prevalent there. But, my question is, okay, after they´ve paid that much for them, what are they going to do with them?

La Mujer Que No Puede Olvidar

Scientists at the University of California have found a woman with perfect memory. Not only does she never forget, she can't forget a-ny-thing. How about that? Never forget anything. No, don't think I want that uh..."skill." Thank you very much. Sometimes forgetting is good - very, very good.

Just Because I Can

Symbolic Divorce

That's one way to phrase it. A 40 year old man in Hamburg appeared at a local gas station with his wife's head in his hands. He put the head on the ground and asked the attendent to call the police. He was under the influence of alcohol and drugs at the time of his arrest. He willingly surrendered to police, but later tried to break away and injured two officers in the process. He said that TV and radio had ordered him to kill his wife.

The last sentence of the article says, "Halshugningen skulle være et udtryk for en symbolsk skilsmisse." That means something like "beheading could be an expression of a symbolic divorce." Not in quotes, no attribution, just the journalist's opinion, I guess.

Don't Fuck with Me or I'll Bite Your Tongue Off

Or rather, fuck me and I'll bite your tongue off. Emily Mescher of Celina, Ohio is free on $10,000 bond after being charged with assault for biting her lover's tongue off during a particularly hot sex act. Her uh...boyfriend...Chad Ringo (what a good name) was taken to the hospital in nearby Lima. Doctors there tried to reconstruct 30% of his tongue. The bit off part was never found...yes, they think Emily swallowed it. Chad wants the uh...missing part sewed back on even if it could be retrieved by...um "natural channels."

Muslim Jeans Are Here!


You can now buy gin-u-wine Muslim jeans called Al Quds. They even have a distinct brand marker on the watch pocket in Arabic script no less. They're produced by the Italian firm Udine. Wait! Italian? Uh...I thought that's where the heart of Christendom was. They're buying infidel jeans just because there's some Arabic script on them? By the way, Al Quds means Jerusalem. I smell a conspiracy here.

Augustine About to Blow His Top


Not St. Augustine, but the Alaskan island named Augustine. See, it's a volcano. Just click on the link and be transported to Alaska to watch in real time. By the way, Alaska is -10 hours GMT.

Early Early Retirement?

I have become so frustrated and disgusted at my job that I'm seriously investigating what it would take for me to retire. Yes, retire. I'm just fed up! Now, I may have to be fed up for a while longer, but I won't work one day longer than I have to. God help us all in the meantime.

Duh!



The United Nations ranks Mexico as number 106 out of 120 countries with the worst water quality. Duh!

How About Some Toilet Water Instead?

And I don't mean cologne. Ekstra Bladet, a Danish tabloid, commissioned a test on ice served in restaurants. It turns out that ice served in soft drinks from the restaurants checked had more bacteria that water from their toilets.

Civil War

Former Iraqi premier, Ayad Allawi, said on BBC television today that civil war in Iraq is a fact. Why is that news? Well, because both the British and American defense ministers say that there is no civil war in Iraq. Could this be like that "there is no insurgency" when there really was one about 3 years ago? I'm just sayin'.

Protest and Funeral Marches

Around the world there were protests today against the War in Iraq on the third anniversary of its beginning. French students and labor unions protested a newly enacted government policy, and huge numbers of Serbian nationalists marched to commemorate the burial of Slobo Milo. Which ones were the biggest? Paris was in 1st place. Slobo's funeral takes 2nd, and the War in Iraq comes in last. Hmm...

Turkmenistan Will Save Us All

The "President for Life" and "Father of All Turkmen", Saparmoerat Nijazov, has ordered that a forest be planted in the Turkmenistan desert. Yes, we all owe him and them a debt of gratitude, because the trees will help combat global warming. Turkmenistan is a dry and hot desert country where the temperatures in summer can get up to 50C. But, all wise Nijazov has concluded that he can turn Turkmenistan into a garden spot by planting cedar trees there. He chose cedars because they "can live to be 1000 years old."

Wie vindt het eerste kievitsei?

Well, this year it was Jaap Wijdenes in Beek en Donk. So what, you say? Yeah, so what? I don't really know, but evidently there is some honor is finding the first egg of the European Plover lapwing each spring. The kievit is some kind of bird in the Netherlands. Must have something to do with proof that Spring has sprung. In this case though, if you find the first one, you call in to a special phone number and get your picture in the paper.

Septuagenarians?

Another 70 plusser in the sex news. This time it's a man who has become an "overnight star" of porn movies. He's David Bozdoganov a 75 year old Russian with a strange love of garlic. He swears by garlic's strengthening properties, and demands that it be rubbed on his penis before shooting (pun intended) a scene. The actresses he works with complain the entire time about the smell. Well, I like garlic too, but rub it on my dick?

I Knew It! I Knew It!

Smiling makes you sick. According to German researchers, persons who work in customer service type jobs that require them to look and act friendly have more stress and therefore, get sick more often than those who can be rude. The problem is that if you act happy when you're really not, you can become depressed. They studied a call center in which half of the participants responded to rude and angry callers in like fashion, and the other half responded in a friendly and good humored manner. The results showed that replying in a friendly way when you'd rather be rude, does nothing more than add to your stress. Dieter Zapf and collegues say the notion that "the customer is always right" should be abandoned.

DWI or DWS?

Italian police stopped a weaving automobile only to discover a half-naked man and a fully naked woman who was trying to have sex while the man was driving. The man had three times the legal limit of alcohol in his blood. But, here's the good part. The man was 59 years old and the woman was 70 years old. I've heard Italian women were sexy, but I didn't expect this! I'll spare you from the picture.

Sinus Infection & CAT Scan

I've been having this nose problem for quite some that now that I thought was due to allergies. Austin is the 2nd worst place in the US for pollen. First worst is Chapel Hill, NC. After my doctor diagnosed me with sinusitis (sinus infection), he sent me to an allergist to get tested for all my allergies. Okay, so far so good.

The test results show that I'm not allergic to very much. Maybe three tree pollens and that's all. So, all this time that I thought it was allergies, it was actually sinusitis. Years ago I read an article about how people say they have sinus infections when they really don't. It said that sinus infections are actually pretty rare. Well, I reckoned that I didn't have that problem. That's what I get for reckoning.

After the allergist determined that I'm not very allergic, he referred me for a CAT scan. Yeah, a CAT scan, not a feline scan. I go tomorrow to have it done. You can't take antibiotics before the CAT scan, because it won't show the full extent of the problem. I haven't had any now for two weeks, and I'm feelin' it!

She Said What?

Wafa Sultan, a Syrian-American psychiatrist, went on an Al-Jazeera talk show and declared that the struggle between the West and Islam is not a war of religions or civilizations, but rather a war of eras. Yeah, she says that Islam is at home in the Middle Ages, and the West is at home in the 21st century. So, what did she get for saying that? You're right, death threats.

Fatwa, fatwa, have you any reason?
Yes sir, yes sir, kafir hunting season
Hunt for apostates
And do them some harm
Let's put the sword to Dar-el-Harb

The Virgin Mary Protests

Perhaps deadly protests will break out all over Christendom, but I doubt it. Because, hey, even Joseph liked to roll her over once in a while. I can just hear him saying to the priests and scribes, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, the Virgin Mary."

Actually, a Danish priest thought the T-shirt went too far, and convinced the store owner in Esjberg, Denmark to remove it from display. Is it just me, or did I hear it thunder?

Dubai Port Operations?

Airport police in Cairo uncovered an illegal shipment of Viagra hidden in 17 different shipping containers from Dubai. Yes, that country the Bush administration wanted to run our ports. However, it's the quantity that's impressive! One thousand three hundred kilos of Viagra! They didn't say how much of it was intended for Hosni Mubarak.

Ex-President of Mexico Warns of Caudillismo

Carlos Salinas de Gortari, whose brother Raul stole Mexico blind and had the leader of the ruling party assassinated, said recently that there is a risk of Latin America returning to "Caudillismo" which is a kind of authoritarianism combined with cronyism. This coming from a corrupt and lying former President who chose to go into exile after his term ended. What the hell is he talking about? I think the pot is calling the kettle black.

Jack Russel Terrier Comes Close to Biting Man's Penis Off

A German man was playing with his brother's girlfriend's dog when the girlfriend playfully told the dog to get him. The dog did alright. Damn near bit the man's penis off! The girlfriend failed to help him, because she lay on the floor laughing.

Okay, they didn't explain if the guy was nude while playing with the dog or not. But, really, how would a Jack Russel be able to get hold of a man's penis unless he were nude and squatting? Was the girlfriend nude too? I'm just sayin'.

Richard Holbrooke Won't Shed Any Tears

Richard Holbrooke, the main US negotiator during the Clinton administration who took part in negotiating the end of the Balkan war, said that he "will not shed any tears about the death of Slobodan Milosevic." Holbrooke called the ex-dictator of Serbia a sociopath and a war criminal. Hmm...what are they going to say when Cheney dies in a jail cell in the Hague?

It Couldn't Have Happened to a Better Guy

Slobo Milo is dead. Slobodan Milosevic that is. They called him the "Butcher of the Balkans" with good reason. He was a corrupt thief and killer. We're better off without him. He died in his prison cell in the Netherlands where he was on trial for crimes against humanity. If I hadn't quit drinkin' I'd break open a bottle of champagne.

Train the Trainer

From Monday afternoon thru Wednesday morning we were at the Austin Tele-Center conducting a train the trainer sessions. We've developed some new Customer Service training that will be delivered in all six Tele-Centers across Texas. Each Tele-Center has two trainers except the one in Austin. So, that was eleven people not counting the two of us. It went pretty well all in all, but the last day was like when you visit your relatives. By the third day, it's time to go! I have two words to describe the last morning: Intentionally Obtuse. Just google that, if you're not sure what I mean.

All 14 of Them

A group affiliated with the new Communist Party in Russia met in Red Square to commemorate the 53rd anniversary of the death of Stalin. Now, were they celebrating that he has been dead that long, or are they remembering it sadly? Either way there's sure not many of them!

Spies Like Sharks



US researchers are experimenting with the possibility of using sharks as spies. Since they move through the water noislessly they are perfect for getting in close to things, but how are they going to know where to go? Well, by remote control, of course. They will implant chips in the shark's brain, and tell it where to swim that way. Wow, could they implant a chip in Tom Cruise's brain and tell him where to go?

That's What They're Talking About?

The new is that Lindsay Lohan exposed one of her breasts unintentionally (?) at some fashion show in Los Angeles. You'd have to blow the foto up to like 800% to really see anything. To quote Jackson Browne, "Doctor, my eyes!"

Personality DNA

Another personality test. Kinda like the Meyers-Briggs. I'm a
Reserved Inventor. Whether I like it or not.

Bush: "We'll Get Bin Laden Sooner or Later"

During a blitzvisit to Afghanistan on his way to India, George W said that it's not a matter of if we catch Bin Laden, but when. Yeah, with George W leading the hunt, we'll catch Osama when he's in a fucking nursing home for retired Islamists! Does this guy look like he's ready to retire?

Sudanese Man Marries Goat

Well, not really by choice. The elders in his village punished him for fucking a neighbor's goat (the late Theo Van Gogh called Moroccans geitneukers, but what about Sudanese?) by forcing him to marry the goat in question. They also made him pay the owner 15,000 Sudanese dinar. I knew they probably had "arranged marriages" there, but not like this. How much is 15,000 dinar? It's $58.

Oh Surprise, Saddam Has Abandoned His Hunger-Strike

When I heard that Saddam had gone on a hunger-strike, I thought he wouldn't last long. I mean, here's a guy that's had all the luxuries in the world, and he's going on a hunger-strike? No, I didn't think he was serious enough to starve himself to death. Saddam, starve himself to death? Maybe, starve you to death, but not himself. In fact, I had forgotten about it until today when I saw he had given it up.

If I'd Had One of These...

Back some almost 35 years ago, I tried to ride from Amsterdam to Copenhagen on a moped or bromfiets as they're call in the Netherlands. I barely got started before I had to give up. But, if I'd had one of these brommobiels , there'da been no stoppin' me!

Did They Test It for Cocaine?

The FBI says that a white powder thought to be the bioweapon ricin found at the University of Texas is not ricin. They didn't say what it was though.

From Screenplay of Syriana

Bryan Woodard, an oil analyst, says to Prince Nasir, next in line to the throne of Syriana:

You want to know what the business world thinks of you. They think a hundred years ago you were chopping each other's heads off in the desert and that's exactly where you'll be in another hundred.

Hmm...

It's Just Because They're So Damn Grateful

A Norwegian-US study of men between the ages of 20-70 found that men over 50 are more satisfied with their sex lives than younger men. Only men in their 20s reported that they were more satisfied than men in their 50s. Twenty-somethings can't get enought, and fifty-somethings are just thrilled when they can get any

She's Not Heavy, She's My Step-Mother


Liza Minnelli sold a house, for $35 million, with her step-mother inside. Liza's father stipulated when he died that his wife could live in the house as long as she wanted. Well, she's 98 years old and still living there. The only problem is that ownership went to Liza, and, well, sometimes step-mothers and step-daughters don't get along well together. Liza had wanted to sell the house earlier, but that caused a battle between her and her step-mom. Ninety-eight years old...and Liza couldn't wait just a little while longer? Isn't she the one that beat up her latest husband too?

Toiletpaper Cause of Death


Franklin Paul Crow of Florida beat his roommate, Kenneth Matthews, to death with a claw hammer and a sledge hammer. Why? Well, they got into a dispute about the toiletpaper. He must not have put a new roll on the holder when he used the last of the old roll.

Ratko: Perfect Name for a War Criminal

Looks like the Serbian authorities have Ratko Mladic surrounded and (I can't help it) cornered like a rat. One of the most sought-after accused war criminals in the world is living in Serbia. Of course, he was receiving his pension, but the government claimed they didn't know where he was. It wasn't until the European Union told Serbia that their entry into the EU was in danger that they located him.

Syriana

We went to see Syriana today since I had the day off. Wow, it's a good movie! I recommend it. If you know some of the current events from over in the Middle East and Central Asia, it makes the story that much better.

Geneva Convention Contravention

Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld must think the Geneva Convention was a bunch of drunken salesmen meeting for a business convention. They must think that, because they say we are in full compliance with the Geneva Convention. If we're in compliance with it, it had to be bunch of drunks.

Take That You Unbelievers!

A calf was born in southern Egypt within the past week that allegedly has the words "There is no God but God" spelled out on its hide. The calf is black with white markings. I can't read Arabic so I can neither confirm nor deny the Truth of the story. But, Egyptians say it's God's answer to the Muhammad cartoons. Well, just wait til we have a calf born in the West with "Muhammad Who?" on its hide.

I Have It on Good Authority

Tom and Katie are finished. Just watch the MSM for coming reports. My crocodile tears are flowing!

George W Got Left Out

Presidents and Prime Ministers of quite a few Western countries had a group photo taken yesterday in Pakistan. But, they left George W out! Now, don't tell me he doesn't belong. If he doesn't fit in with these guys, he doesn't fit in anywhere.

Paris Hilton As Mother Theresa

No, it's not my cold medication making me think that. It's true! Bollywood director T Rajeevnath is serious about it. He says he has contacted her about the project.