Paris Beaches: No Topless Sunbathing


There's a beach in Paris? Paris on the ocean? No, but there is a beach there. This summer the city officials imported enough sand to form a beach along the Seine for the public to use during the exceptionally hot summer. However, there'll be no more topless sunbathing, and no more G-strings. If you do, you get fined 38 euro.

This Case Is Not Worth the Urine of an Iraqi Child

That's Saddam Hussein's take on his trial. He may be an evil killer, but he's sure got a way with words. I take it that this is not the Mother of All Trials.

Opblaasman

The Brits call him the "Buddy on Demand". He's an inflatable doll made to sit in your passenger's seat so it will appear that you're not traveling alone. They claim women feel more secure with him there. Well, there's another use for Buddy.

You know those High Occupancy Vehicle lanes in major cities? HOV lanes lets you drive faster than regular freeway traffic. Usually you have to have at least two persons in the car to be able to get in the HOV lane. Sometimes more. I think I see a really good use for old Buddy

Muslim Porn


Don't laugh! It really is porn from the Islamic Republic. Notice how she's just enticing you with that veil pulled away. And not just pulled back, but completely open to view! My Allah!

Hey, It Was Time to Partay!


Jeffrey Pelley killed his father, step-mother, and two step-sisters then went to a party. I guess he reckoned it was time to lighten up. Yeah, I mean killing four family members isn't the most relaxing thing you can do. That was a long time ago when Jeffrey was 17 years old. Hell, he's twice that age now. Only, now he's looking at 260 years in the pen. Just think, if he'd turned himself in back then and got the same sentence, he'd only have 243 years left to go.

Harold and Maude: The Sequel

They're actually named Simon and Edna, but they remind me of Harold and Maude. Many folks are too young to remember, but I guess I'm showing my age. Anyway, I say congratulations.

So If He Goes Impotent, Will He Cut Off His Penis?


Mickey Rourke found a unique way to get rid of his frustrations: He cut off his pinky finger. Well, not the whole thing, just the tip of it. He said he suddenly thought that he didn't need it anymore anyway. So, if his dick goes limp is he gonna cut it off too?

Cayenne Ain't Just a Pepper


No, it's also a Sinus Buster! You see, I'm still suffering from my sinus problems, but not near as much. I googled home remedies for sinusitis, and I found the Sinus Buster website. It uses the substance in the cayenne pepper called capsaicin in a metered nasal spray to shrink sinuses. Of course, the site has all kinds of testimonials. I ponied up my $20 or so, and got a spray bottle of it last week.

I won't lie, it burns. Oh yeah, it burns. But, it's not as bad as I expected it to be. Anyway, it really works! I have no trouble breathing at all any more. I still csn't smell or taste food, but I've come to like the loss of smell in certain situations. In fact, those situations are quite numerous. Even more frequent that I first thought.

Most people smell everything until they decide to hold their nose when something smells bad. What I'd like to do now is to change my default setting to no smell. But, to be able to smell when I specifically wanted to. Now, that's an idea for science!

It's Hot All Over

Not only is Europe suffering thru a heat wave, we are too! Well, actually ours is more expected...hell, it's this way every summer. So, what's new? Nothing really, except the usual complaining - God (followed by 1.5 second wait) Damn, it's hot! This is muttered by old timers and new timers alike. There's a point when even the sun worshippers can't take any more.

The forecast high for today in Austin is 104F (40C). Park your car in the sun, and you get to practice some one-finger-on-the-steering-wheel driving. Holding the steering wheel long enough to turn a corner is a bitch!

World Champion Vacationers

If you're going to be World Champs at something, then being World Champs at vacationing would be the best. The Dutch have won that prize, and it didn't take taunting the competition either. No headbutts, no cussing, no whatever. Well, there probably was some cussing somewhere, but it doesn't count. Now, there's a bunch of people after my own heart: World Champion Vacationers! It's tough, but somebody's got to do it.

No, the Traffic Is Not Moving


Before I left for work this morning, the Goddess called to tell me that she had heard on the radio that there was a major accident on I-35. She said it involved a gasoline spill. I later learned that it involved 7 (yes, seven) 18-wheelers and 3 cars. (I suppose that would be 129 wheels) I decided to take another route which is usually too slow, but I figured it might be better than the Interstate today.

Bad idea! I wound up driving in just as much traffic while trying to avoid the traffic. It's sort of one of those Oedipus Rex things. The more you try to avoid the problem, the more you bring it on. It took me over an hour and a half to get here today. That's 90 minutes to go about 30 km. What is that...about 3 or 3.5 km per hour? That last half of it was at about 110 km per hour, because once I got by the bottleneck, it was clear sailing.

How Many Can You Knock Down?


The Zidane vs. Materazzi knock down a la World Wrestling Entertainment is now a computer game! Yes, you get to see how many Materazzis you can take out, and get red-carded. I tried it myself, and I took down about 8 or 10. I wasn't really counting, because it was so much fun. Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!

It's About Fucking Time!

A Defense Department memo signed by Gordon England, the number 2 man at the DOD, states that even "enemy combatants" are covered by the Geneva Convention. This whole thing is in response to the Supreme Court's ruling saying that military tribunals, as done by the Bush Administration, violate the Constitution and the Geneva Convention.

One rhetorical questions: If you violate the Geneva Convention, doesn't that make you a war criminal?

Don't Say You Haven't Wanted to Do This Too


Let's just re-live the moment...Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!

The Ultimate in Self-Centeredness

That's what some people consider suicide to be. A person who would do that has no thought for others and how they may be affected. That's at least one way to look at it. Anyway, it looks like the building collapse in NYC today may have been a botched suicide attempt. I say botched because evidently the suicider was taken to a hospital with severe burns. If you're gonna take the whole building with you, you'd better make sure you die in the process. i have a feeling this guy is gonna wish even more that he hadn't survived.

Is That What Oxymoron Means?


The first style show in decades took place in Kabul, Afghanistan. The models were all foreign, but they all wore hijabs (at the least). There was even a part dedicated to burqas. Yes, burqas. If you're going to model burqas, do you even have to be good-looking? For that matter, do you even have to be a woman?

What Did You Do in the 60s, Daddy?


Researchers in the U.K. have concluded that most 50-somethings lie to their kids about what they did in the 60s. Seems they embellish their carrying-ons. They say they were too high to remember it all. They all saw the Beatles in person, had all kinds of sex, blah, blah, blah. The truth is that 8% used cannabis, and fewer than 1% took LSD.

Hell, I remember too much from the 60s, and I'm one of that 8%! Or am I embellishing? ;-)

What Do You Call It When Someone Looks Good from Behind, but...


Ugly from the front? Like the Lyle Lovett song "She's Hot to Go." Well, I guess we would say what ol' Lyle said, "She was ugly from the front." But, now I understand there's a Japanese word for just that thing: Bakku-shan.

Guy 1: Hey, man, look at her...whoa!
Guy 2: Be careful, buddy, she might just be bakku-shan.

Kenny Boy Is Dead


Like I said when Slobo Milo died, it couldn't have happened to a better guy. Only problem is that Kenny Boy died at this vacation home in Aspen, and Slobo died in a prison cell. Kenny Boy should have had the same fate.

You know, in some other countries economic crimes are punishable by death. Lucky for Kenny Boy, he didn't get caught in China.

Now, about that White House connection and where he got that nickname in the first place...

Nevada Gubenatorial Candidate


In the theme of freedom on July 4th it's only right to point out one of the Republican candidates for Governor of Nevada. Her name is Melody Damayo aka Mimi Miyagi. So, what's so internesting about that? Well, Melody is a former pornstar and she's a Republican! Why is it that the porn stars that enter politics do so as Republicans? Mary Carey ran as a Republican. Why, she even visited the White House as one of the Republican candidates.

Democrats are always the ones caught up in sex scandals, it's not often the Republicans. Republicans' weakness is for money. They always get caught with their hands in the cash register, and Democrats always get caught with their hands in their (or someone else's) pants.