The Egg Was First


John Brookfield, a British researcher, has determined that the egg came before the chicken. He says it's actually quite simple - genetic material cannot evolve in a living organism, it has to evolve in the egg. So, the egg that produced the chicken was laid by a different specie.

Short Pants Will Get You Killed

In Iraq at least. The coach and two members of the Iraqi Davis Cup team were executed by a militant Sunni group. Eye witnesses said that the execution took place because the three wore short pants. A few days ago the militant group warned the team that wearing shorts would not be tolerated. What the fuck? Shorts? Would they prefer them to play tennis in those long white dresses?

Borat's Back


And I don't mean his butt. He has returned. Borat is in Cannes to promote his new movie called Borat The Movie. I like.

Because They All Have Mustaches


Tiziano Ferro, an Italian popular singer, said on TV that it's impossible to find beautiful Mexican women, because they all have mustaches. He then backs off a little to say that Salma Hayek is the only exception.

35=10


According to a novel by Chetan Bhagat called One Night @ the Call Center trainers at call centers in India instruct their students from day one that 35=10. It means that the brain of a 35 year old American is equal to the brain of a 10 year old Indian. They say it helps their students better understand the American customers.

Sinus Treatment


Yeah, I'm still fighting with my sinuses. The picture is of my desk at this moment. I'm taking herbs, drinking lots of water, and well...hoping for my sense of smell to come back. I went back to the Academy of Oriental Medicine of Austin last Thursday to be "re-evaluated". I got some needles in the same places as before, a month's worth of herbs, and time to come back. The Iatrogenic Rash has improved, but not left the auditorium. So, now it's been like 3 1/2 months that I've been fuckin' with this and it ain't gone! I will say that it's improved a lot though.

No Good Samaritans Allowed

David Sharp died while climbing Mount Everest. He ran out of oxygen in the "dead zone". He didn't have a sherpa, and he didn't have enough oxygen tanks. He also didn't have any help, because 40 other climbers passed him by while he was lying there dying. Yes, 40.

Suspicious Saudis

Two University of South Florida students from Saudi Arabia remain is jail after their arrest on Friday for boarding a school bus without authorization. They got on the bus, took a seat, and began speaking Arabic. Students alerted the driver who was a substitute and didn't know that the two men weren't students. The driver called police, and the two men were arrested at the high school.

Now, get this, one of them was wearing a trenchcoat in 80F temperature in Tampa. Duh! What makes you suspicious of that? An Arab on a school bus in a trenchcoat...my Allah! When asked why they boarded the bus the two, who were questioned separately, gave more than one reason. First, they said they wanted to enroll in an easier English language class than the one at South Florida, then they said they wanted to see a high school, then they said they thought it would be fun.

Yeah, I know why...They wanted to get some American pussy! Remember they come from a country where all the women wear black tents. No, they're not Al-Qaeda, they're Al-Cunta.

Everybody's Doin' a Brand New Dance Now, C'mon Baby...

Do the Bird Flu. Yes, not only has bird flu itself arrived in the Ivory Coast, but the dance (click here to see it) has too. I didn't know it but Ivory Coast is quite a dance happy place. They name new dances after sports, politics, and so on. They even have one called the Guantanamo. Is that they one where they look like they're committing suidice?

Follow Up on Extreme Sport


A few days ago I posted about two Scandanavian guys who were going to ski down Mount Everest. Well, only one of them made it. The guy from Sweden, Tomas Olsson, has gone missing. The two skiers were at a cliff and were trying to rappel down when Tomas fell. His skiing partner, Tormod Granheim, went down to try to help him, but only found his ice ax. God bless him.

Immigration Reform


Okay, let me get this straight. A suspected people smuggler was shot and killed on the US-Mexican border trying to escape to Mexico. Wait a minute! He was going south? He was trying to smuggle people into Mexico? What did I miss here? He's taking illegal immigrants back to Mexico, and our Border Patrol shot him...because he tried to avoid a traffic stop and get across the border. Isn't that what East German border guards used to do when people tried to get to West Germany? I got to say I'm confused. Seems like the Minutemen would want to give the guy a medal.


I'm just sayin'.

UT Commencement at 8:30 A.M.?


Driving to work this morning was going along quite well until I took my regular exit from I-35. When I exited, I had to slam on the brakes, because traffic was backed up on the exit ramp. It was at a standstill on the ramp and on the access road. For fuck's sake! It turns out that the University of Texas is having their commencement exercises (strange name for that huh?) in the Erwin Center at fucking 8;30 in the morning! Well, maybe not 8:30 when they start, but it sure was early enough for people to tie up traffic trying to get there. Gimme a break!

Curious About Your Death?

Just go to The Death Psychic, and it will gladly inform you how you will meet your death. Here's what will happen to me:

While mowing the lawn barefoot, you accidentally run over your foot, severing your toes. Unable to walk, you bleed to death in your lawn.

Hmmm...I don't usually mow the lawn, and never have liked doing it, barefoot or not. Mowing the lawn barefoot? Really?

I'll Be Right Back

A young woman in Germany had filled her gas tank, but didn't have enough money to pay for it. She left her friend who was with her as a "deposit" while she drove home to get some money. Okay, that's a little unusual, but not unbelievable. Except she never came back.

The employees called the cops who came and questioned the friend who was later allowed to go. Well, gas is really pricey nowadays.

Hirsi Ali Comes to America


Hirsi Ali is presently a member of parliament in the Netherlands. She is resigning her seat and is moving to the US to work for the American Enterprise Institute. So what? Well, she's been living under threat of death for a long time, especially since Theo Van Gogh was murdered by jihadists in Amsterdam in 2004.

The reason it's all happening now is because she has acknowledged lying on her asylum request to live in the Netherlands. There has been a publicity campaign about it recently with a TV documentary. This was evidently public information before, but it's being rehashed lately. She was born in Somalia, grew up under Islam, and has been an outspoken critic of it. In fact, she collaborated with Van Gogh on the movie, Submission, that got him killed.

I for one say welcome to her, may her time in the US be safe.

Extreme Sport

Two Scandanavians have climbed Mount Everest, but that's not really news. What's news it that they are going to ski down it. That's 8850 meters above sea level. Whoa, and I thought my ill-fated sky dive was daring!

Imagine What It's Like Here!

A study in Denmark found that food from McDonald's is healthier than food in nursing homes. I'll bet the food in Danish nursing homes is better than nursing home food here. If you've ever visited a nursing home, you can believe it.

Figure This One Out


Joanna and Angela, two women, got married recently in Great Britain where same sex marriage has been legal for a few months. But, that's not the main thing. They are both transexuals: They were both men previously named John and Andrew. They both have been married before and they have children. But, they felt female, so they had sex change operations. After their respective operations they met on the Internet as two women. They fell in love and got married...as lesbians. I'm confused, but not as much as they are!

He's Still Breaking Records

The Wall Street Journal poll shows our Prezdint with an approval rating of 29%. That breaks the record for any president. How low can he go? Has he hit bottom (pun intended)?

I Approved this Message


I come from West Texas right next to Odessa
The place that is really God’s own
My wife’s no contessa, and I must confess-a
That my mind’s not very well honed
I take time to rest, but I do my best
With money that came from a loan

(chorus)
They stole the election and gave it to me
Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same
They tell me what’s best, I do the rest
And everything comes out okay


I bought me a ball team we all call the Rangers
After that they went straight to hell
With me at the helm there never was danger
That the Rangers would ever do well
We built a new ball park named, uh…the Ball Park
By then it was time for me to sell

(chorus)

Livin’ in a mansion and bein’ the Governor
Sounded like a whole lot of fun
But one Sunday sermon from my friend the preacher
And Mom sayin’ listen here son
You should be in the White House, not sittin’ in the bleachers
So, I thought, hell, why don’t I run?

(chorus)

I took on the office and the nucular button
Even though I don’t know which wing is west
No more stem cells I said, but all of a sudden
Them Al-Qaida cells put Dick to the test
I was down visitin’ Jeb and absorbed in my readin’
Andy said, “George, we’d better haul ass.”



(chorus)


I put the blame on Saddam the Iraqi
And let his people go on a rampage
War on TV’s better than watchin’ hockey
With me getting’ all of the praise
I always thought I’d look good in Khaki
With the USS Lincoln for a stage



(chorus)

Well, things started going from bad to worse
Our kids gettin’ killed by IEDs
We caught Saddam and a few of the perps
But, Zarkawi's got martyrs in their teens
My approval keeps droppin’ my policies are cursed
Social Security reform's in the deep freeze

(chorus)

Indictments keep coming who’s next to fall?
Why are you givin' me such a hard test?
Congress quit answering whenever I call
It’s hard I tell you, this leading the West
Our allies snub us they quit playing ball
I’m just doin' my best in a bullet-proof vest