One Already Got Thru to the President
The Canadian Agriculture Office has announced that Mad Cow Disease has been found in Canada in the province of Alberta. The US government has decided to stop importation of bovines from the province.
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
Sunday, May 18, 2003
Have You Been Wondering About Jerry Hall's Life? I Haven't
I don't know what to call her, model maybe, groupie maybe, hanger-on...anyway, Mick Jagger's ex (that's her real claim to fame) is going to have a TV show on the BBC about what it's like to be a superstar. I wonder how she would know?
I don't know what to call her, model maybe, groupie maybe, hanger-on...anyway, Mick Jagger's ex (that's her real claim to fame) is going to have a TV show on the BBC about what it's like to be a superstar. I wonder how she would know?
Friday, May 16, 2003
Chickenhawks Beware!
Modeled after the top 55 most wanted Iraqi Ba'athists, there is now available the Chickenhawk Cards. They list the 54 top Republican Chickenhawks. Chickenhawks are defined as bellicose, prominent persons who avoided service in the military themselves. They just want someone else to fight for them!
Modeled after the top 55 most wanted Iraqi Ba'athists, there is now available the Chickenhawk Cards. They list the 54 top Republican Chickenhawks. Chickenhawks are defined as bellicose, prominent persons who avoided service in the military themselves. They just want someone else to fight for them!
Thursday, May 15, 2003
Wouldn't a Handgun Have Been Easier?
A man walked into a grocery store, went into the meat department, and cut off his ownhead with a bandsaw designed for cutting meat. He only made it half-way through before he fell to the floor.
A man walked into a grocery store, went into the meat department, and cut off his ownhead with a bandsaw designed for cutting meat. He only made it half-way through before he fell to the floor.
Now, That's What I Call Public Health!
China has warned sufferers of SARS that they can be executed if they spread the disease. Just violating a quarantine can get you 7 years in prison. Nothing like blaming the victim, I say!
China has warned sufferers of SARS that they can be executed if they spread the disease. Just violating a quarantine can get you 7 years in prison. Nothing like blaming the victim, I say!
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
The Right to Strike?
As far as is known, the members of the Texas Legislature are the only employees of the State of Texas with the right to strike. Well, maybe not really the right to strike (since the DPS is out after them), but at least the right not to come to work and still not lose their job. Well, maybe not the right to stay home and not lose their job, but at least the right to not do any work and still keep their job. Well, maybe...
As far as is known, the members of the Texas Legislature are the only employees of the State of Texas with the right to strike. Well, maybe not really the right to strike (since the DPS is out after them), but at least the right not to come to work and still not lose their job. Well, maybe not the right to stay home and not lose their job, but at least the right to not do any work and still keep their job. Well, maybe...
Monday, May 12, 2003
Yeah But, Do They Have Seat Covers?
Naked-Air is now offering nude flying to nude resorts in Yucatan. If you think you'd like to do that, click here for reasons to reconsider.
Naked-Air is now offering nude flying to nude resorts in Yucatan. If you think you'd like to do that, click here for reasons to reconsider.
Ain't It the Truth!
"Normal" is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to the job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car, and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it.
� Ellen Goodman quoted in Stepping Lightly by Mark A. Burch
"Normal" is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to the job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car, and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it.
� Ellen Goodman quoted in Stepping Lightly by Mark A. Burch
Sunday, May 11, 2003
Movie Review
Review: The Lost Dutchman (Click here to see promotional poster)
Harry Arp, who wrote, scripted, produced, directed, and starred in the autobiographical �The Lost Dutchman,� has created his masterpiece work. In this wonderfully complex yet simple film he breaches the metaphysical divide between movies and the existential condition of postmodern life. His narrative works on several levels.
This story of a Dutchman lost in his world and seeking shelter is a captivating story on the surface-narrative level which guarantees its box office success. The global audience will be enthralled and drawn into the story which is so universal in its expression of the human condition as to cross all cultural boundaries from the pre-modern tribes of Papua New Guinea, to the more modern societies of the Indian subcontinent, to the postmodern mega-state of the European Union and North America. Mr. Arp has succeeded where no other filmmaker has even dared to tread.
On a symbolic level, Mr. Arp makes use of the symbol of water which takes us to the archetypal level of birth, life, and the always changing yet always same aspects of life on this planet. An early scene in the film shows Mr. Arp wandering as if in a drug induced stupor near a large river where he falls to his knees in worship of a phenomenon that is visible only to him. The vision, withheld from the audience, is so powerful to Mr. Arp that he removes his clothing and dives into the river wherefrom he later emerges draped in a purple robe. This universal image of rebirth resonates with all religions, but it evoked in this viewer parallels with the first chapter of Mark in the New Testament where Jesus is baptized by John the Baptist and emerges from the water touched by the Holy Spirit. With the epiphany still fresh in his mind Harry leads us (and we willingly follow) to an astonishing revelation about the power of the Horse of Holy Faith represented by El Caballo de Santa Fe which grazes in peace by the river calling to mind the 23rd Psalm. Arp juxtaposes the primordial symbol of power under control, El Caballo, with the stone tablet on which it is carved, heralding the handing down of divine law. The following scene in which he eats grass and drinks river water on all fours alongside El Caballo finishing with the simultaneous evacuation of his and El Caballo�s bowels brings us to a depth meaning never before seen in the history of film.
On the subconscious level Mr. Arp succeeds as he has his character wear a crown of question marks to denote the immortal and constant question-maker which is the human mind. He masterfully touches our depths with the deeply moving symbol of the octagon-shaped stop sign wherein the expected word �Stop� is replaced by the less comforting and personalized word �Lost.� Arp emphasizes this contrast of the anticipated with the actual later in the film when he finds himself confronted with the appearance of another similarly shaped sign bearing the word �stop,� guiding himself and us to a profound understanding of that word. He masterfully brings to the screen the sense of meaninglessness, abandonment, and fear in which our species encounters an impassive universe. Yet he never allows us to lose sight of the life-affirming potential of hope as he deftly displays the name of his film on a street sign perpendicular to the esoteric SR 88, a subtle reference to the �morning-after� pill RU-486 from which the viewer infers the God-like benefits that postmodern relativism has conferred on us. Here he engages us in our own quest for meaning, and encourages us to define for ourselves what life as we know it can mean within the confines of our sexual instincts.
I heartily recommend this soon to be Oscar-winning film. Five stars, two thumbs, and one penis up!
Marcos Arroyos
Review: The Lost Dutchman (Click here to see promotional poster)
Harry Arp, who wrote, scripted, produced, directed, and starred in the autobiographical �The Lost Dutchman,� has created his masterpiece work. In this wonderfully complex yet simple film he breaches the metaphysical divide between movies and the existential condition of postmodern life. His narrative works on several levels.
This story of a Dutchman lost in his world and seeking shelter is a captivating story on the surface-narrative level which guarantees its box office success. The global audience will be enthralled and drawn into the story which is so universal in its expression of the human condition as to cross all cultural boundaries from the pre-modern tribes of Papua New Guinea, to the more modern societies of the Indian subcontinent, to the postmodern mega-state of the European Union and North America. Mr. Arp has succeeded where no other filmmaker has even dared to tread.
On a symbolic level, Mr. Arp makes use of the symbol of water which takes us to the archetypal level of birth, life, and the always changing yet always same aspects of life on this planet. An early scene in the film shows Mr. Arp wandering as if in a drug induced stupor near a large river where he falls to his knees in worship of a phenomenon that is visible only to him. The vision, withheld from the audience, is so powerful to Mr. Arp that he removes his clothing and dives into the river wherefrom he later emerges draped in a purple robe. This universal image of rebirth resonates with all religions, but it evoked in this viewer parallels with the first chapter of Mark in the New Testament where Jesus is baptized by John the Baptist and emerges from the water touched by the Holy Spirit. With the epiphany still fresh in his mind Harry leads us (and we willingly follow) to an astonishing revelation about the power of the Horse of Holy Faith represented by El Caballo de Santa Fe which grazes in peace by the river calling to mind the 23rd Psalm. Arp juxtaposes the primordial symbol of power under control, El Caballo, with the stone tablet on which it is carved, heralding the handing down of divine law. The following scene in which he eats grass and drinks river water on all fours alongside El Caballo finishing with the simultaneous evacuation of his and El Caballo�s bowels brings us to a depth meaning never before seen in the history of film.
On the subconscious level Mr. Arp succeeds as he has his character wear a crown of question marks to denote the immortal and constant question-maker which is the human mind. He masterfully touches our depths with the deeply moving symbol of the octagon-shaped stop sign wherein the expected word �Stop� is replaced by the less comforting and personalized word �Lost.� Arp emphasizes this contrast of the anticipated with the actual later in the film when he finds himself confronted with the appearance of another similarly shaped sign bearing the word �stop,� guiding himself and us to a profound understanding of that word. He masterfully brings to the screen the sense of meaninglessness, abandonment, and fear in which our species encounters an impassive universe. Yet he never allows us to lose sight of the life-affirming potential of hope as he deftly displays the name of his film on a street sign perpendicular to the esoteric SR 88, a subtle reference to the �morning-after� pill RU-486 from which the viewer infers the God-like benefits that postmodern relativism has conferred on us. Here he engages us in our own quest for meaning, and encourages us to define for ourselves what life as we know it can mean within the confines of our sexual instincts.
I heartily recommend this soon to be Oscar-winning film. Five stars, two thumbs, and one penis up!
Marcos Arroyos
Friday, May 09, 2003
Why Do You Seek the Dead Among the Living?
According to the French newspaper, Le Figaro, Osama Bin Laden is dead. Their researcher has concluded that he died in December 2001 in the mountains near Tora Bora. All the tapes and videos since then are fakes or montages from previous ones, the researcher says.
According to the French newspaper, Le Figaro, Osama Bin Laden is dead. Their researcher has concluded that he died in December 2001 in the mountains near Tora Bora. All the tapes and videos since then are fakes or montages from previous ones, the researcher says.
Thursday, May 08, 2003
I Wanna a New Drug?
There's a new "drug" in India that will give you an illusionary and floating experience. But don't run out trying to buy it just yet. It's a scorpion sting. Yes, getting stung by scorpions will produce the sought after affect.
There's a new "drug" in India that will give you an illusionary and floating experience. But don't run out trying to buy it just yet. It's a scorpion sting. Yes, getting stung by scorpions will produce the sought after affect.
Atilla in a China Cabinet
I found a website in Spain where you can nominate a person or entity (like a company) for the annual Atila (as they spell it) Award. That's given to the person or entity that has caused the most environmental destruction. I nominated the Armed Forces of the United States for their massive destruction of the environment of Iraq.
I found a website in Spain where you can nominate a person or entity (like a company) for the annual Atila (as they spell it) Award. That's given to the person or entity that has caused the most environmental destruction. I nominated the Armed Forces of the United States for their massive destruction of the environment of Iraq.
Wednesday, May 07, 2003
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
That's One Way to Get Head!
A 24-year old man was running around in the border area of Germany near Limburg with a woman's head in one hand and a knife in the other. The article says he was arrested. He comes from Kosovo.
A 24-year old man was running around in the border area of Germany near Limburg with a woman's head in one hand and a knife in the other. The article says he was arrested. He comes from Kosovo.
Roll Out Those Hazy Days of Summer
Yes, summer is here. No it's not you say, it's only May 6th. Well, if you're in Austin, Texas you know damn well that it's summertime. Yesterday the temperature was over 90, and today it's supposed to be again. That's really not the bad part; the bad part is that it doesn't get any cooler at night than about 73. But, the real thing that determines when summer's here is the haze. It's so fucking hot that the ozone and the hydrocarbons combine to form a haze over the entire area (hell, over the entire state probably). When you get the haze the heat really has nowhere to go because the haze holds it in. Yes, it's gonna be a long, hot one. The rest of the world lives the winter months inside out of the weather. Here in Texas we live the summer months inside out of the weather, and summer starts in May and ends in November (when we're lucky and the summer is short). God help us all!
Yes, summer is here. No it's not you say, it's only May 6th. Well, if you're in Austin, Texas you know damn well that it's summertime. Yesterday the temperature was over 90, and today it's supposed to be again. That's really not the bad part; the bad part is that it doesn't get any cooler at night than about 73. But, the real thing that determines when summer's here is the haze. It's so fucking hot that the ozone and the hydrocarbons combine to form a haze over the entire area (hell, over the entire state probably). When you get the haze the heat really has nowhere to go because the haze holds it in. Yes, it's gonna be a long, hot one. The rest of the world lives the winter months inside out of the weather. Here in Texas we live the summer months inside out of the weather, and summer starts in May and ends in November (when we're lucky and the summer is short). God help us all!
Sunday, May 04, 2003
So, You Want to Kill Him?
Why not enter his Lotto for a good seat at the death chamber. Zacarias Moussaoui has offered a multiple choice quiz. If you answer the question correctly, and your name is drawn, you too can witness his execution. Good luck.
Why not enter his Lotto for a good seat at the death chamber. Zacarias Moussaoui has offered a multiple choice quiz. If you answer the question correctly, and your name is drawn, you too can witness his execution. Good luck.
Monday, April 28, 2003
Friday, April 25, 2003
Not SARS
I have come down with a flu or something like that. I'm having a sever burning in my chest, and I'm coughing a lot. When I cough it feels like something is tearing in my chest. I have a burning in the back of my sinuses, and I feel very exhausted. But, according to the little scrolling news on CNN, I don't have SARS. It says that if the first symptoms are respiratory, then it's not SARS. For all I know, it could be menopause.
I have come down with a flu or something like that. I'm having a sever burning in my chest, and I'm coughing a lot. When I cough it feels like something is tearing in my chest. I have a burning in the back of my sinuses, and I feel very exhausted. But, according to the little scrolling news on CNN, I don't have SARS. It says that if the first symptoms are respiratory, then it's not SARS. For all I know, it could be menopause.
Tuesday, April 22, 2003
Put That Back!
No justice, no piece. It looks like the Imam's are taking drastic steps. This comes from harpers.org. "Some looters were surrendering stolen goods after learning that a cleric issued an edict forbidding Iraqi wives from having sex with their looter husbands." But, what about looter wives?
No justice, no piece. It looks like the Imam's are taking drastic steps. This comes from harpers.org. "Some looters were surrendering stolen goods after learning that a cleric issued an edict forbidding Iraqi wives from having sex with their looter husbands." But, what about looter wives?
Saturday, April 19, 2003
Home(ly) Depot
Last night my wife and I went to Home Depot to pick up some paint for touch up in the dining room. I admit I don't go there often, but I have been there quite a few times. Last night (Friday night) there was the ugliest crop of people I've ever seen concentrated in one place. There was not one person that looked even average. Maybe it was a Friday night thing, like if you're at Home Depot on Friday night, you're not good looking enough to be doing anything else. You just work on the house where you live alone. I can't remember the homely people being out in such force anywhere else I've been. Of course, you might say well, what were you doing there? If everyone else was so homely, you must be too, after all you were there on a Friday night, weren't you? Hmmm...
Last night my wife and I went to Home Depot to pick up some paint for touch up in the dining room. I admit I don't go there often, but I have been there quite a few times. Last night (Friday night) there was the ugliest crop of people I've ever seen concentrated in one place. There was not one person that looked even average. Maybe it was a Friday night thing, like if you're at Home Depot on Friday night, you're not good looking enough to be doing anything else. You just work on the house where you live alone. I can't remember the homely people being out in such force anywhere else I've been. Of course, you might say well, what were you doing there? If everyone else was so homely, you must be too, after all you were there on a Friday night, weren't you? Hmmm...
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