Grave of Jesus Uncovered

A Canadian documentary team claims to have uncovered the burial place of Jesus. And, I don't mean Jesus Garcia, I mean the real Jesus. Experts from the fields of archeology, DNA, writing experts, and historians worked together in a cave discovered in 1980 near Jerusalem. They have concluded that the cave held 10 caskets with the names of the "occupants" carved into them. One says "Jesus, son of Joseph" another says "Judah, son on Jesus" and two others say "Mary." The team believes the caskets with Mary carved on them hold Mary Magdalene and Mary mother of Jesus. The documentary will play on the World Discovery Channel soon.

Wait a minute! Jesus ascended into heaven, how did they bury him near Jerusalem? Somebody's got some 'splainin to do!

Gay No More

A few months ago Ted Haggard, former president of the National Association of Evangelicals, resigned his pastorate and his presidency, because he had to admit his homosexuality. Remember, this particular group says that Jesus can change gay people into straight ones. Now, just why Ted had to struggle with his "urges" most of his life remains a mystery to me. I mean, if Jesus would help anyone, surely he would help Ted.

Don't worry. He did help Ted, sadly it came a little late, but better late than never, right? Ted underwent "intensive therapy" , and now has become completely heterosexual. His transformation may not rank up there with raising the dead, but it sure proves the power of...uh...Jesus? Maybe it proves the power of Ted's ego instead.