Invisible Underwear

It comes a little late for Britney and Lindsay, but not too late for you! They call it "invisible underwear," because you can't see it. Why can't you see it? Well, it doesn't exist. They call it a C-string, meaning it sort of cups from the pubic bone to the top of the butt crack. Just a thin elastic piece formed like the letter "C." Will it become the hottest thing this summer? Mmmm...I hope not. I can just imagine someone wearing it who shouldn't, but doesn't know any better.

North to Alaska

Vacation! Going to Alaska on a cruise ship. We leave Saturday for Seattle. From there we leave on a cruise ship for Alaska on Sunday. One week at sea traveling the Inside Passage. We will stop at Ketchikan, the wettest place in North America, Juneau which has more territory than Rhode Island, Connecticut, or Delaware, and Skagway the gateway to the Klondike. Totem poles, whales, glaciers, fjords, and who knows what else. It promises to have lots of relax time. Well, at least, I hope so.

Great Sincere Real Faithful People Vigorously March to Bring Glorious Highest Songun Politics to Universe

Yep, it's the Democratic People's Republic of Korea songun blog. Well, it's either the real thing or some mighty good satire. Notice how it's on the free version of Blogger just like mine, not Blogger Pro which you have to pay for. Must be the real thing, 'cause they couldn't afford to pay for a website. Just browse thru a little of it - you'll love it if you read it as satire.

Don't believe it's satire? Hey, this is the Postmodern world, it's the reader that gives the narrative its meaning, not the author!

I Have to Say I Agree

Fidel Castro criticized the British government in an essay published today. He said the money Great Britain spent on three nuclear submarines could have paid for 75, 000 doctors and 3000 advanced clinics. The British Navy reports that is spent 5.3 billion euros on the three submarines. Castro said that doctors have more importance than nuclear submarines.

What's Good for the Goose...

I don't think the world has waited on pins and needles for this, but it has happened anyway. We already have the Wonderbra, now we have the Wonderjock. Yep, a push-up bathing suit for men. No, I haven't made it up, it has actually happened. Of the millions of things that humanity truly needs, we get this! Ain't it always that way?

Imagine That!

A "politician" in Belgium has promised to give oral sex to anyone who votes for her. Finally, a political platform that has some public support! Her name is Tania Dervaux and she's a candidate for the Senate from the Nee party in Antwerp. Of course, like any politician the compaign promise comes with some qualifications. If you are a married voter or you are just timid, you have to get your "pay-off" in Second Life. Well, that's a lot less than promised!

Mugger Geese Take Man's Cell Phone

Yes, a poor young student of jurisprudence fell prey to a gang of geese. Just walking along minding his own business, and sudddenly the geese attacked! They kept pecking at his cell phone until he had to let it go. Then, one of the perpetrators grabbed the phone and fled with it. He has called his phone several times since the incident, but he gets no answer. The geese probably have the caller ID turned on, and know not to answer.

A Breakthrough? Electronic Cigarettes

I suppose someone had to do it. But, why? A Chinese company, Ruyan, has invented an electronic cigarette. It's a little cartridge with nicotine in it that you suck on like a cigarette. You don't inhale smoke, just air and nicotine. When you exhale, it's comes out as smoke that the company claims is harmless (yeah, right!). You can buy these if you live in China, Israel, Turkey, Australia and some European countries. The company says they will target the United States next.

Workers' Compensation

People injured on the job have the recourse of applying for workers' compensation. Here in the US we have lots of negative ideas about just what deserves compensation. Many people believe that anyone receiving workers' compensation just doesn't want to work and prefers to malinger.

I don't know how the folks in Belgium feel, but I know that a professional beer taster has won his court case against his employer, Inbev. The poor fellow became an alcoholic while doing his work. The company tried to get out of paying, but a court in Belgium ruled that the company must pay the former employee €35,000. That come out to probably $50,000 or so.

So, we have the case of a man who really, really enjoyed his work so much that... he did it too well. Now, surely Americans could sympathize with that.

Say It Ain't So, Sascha

Oh no, it turns out that Sascha Baron Cohen will not play Freddie Mercury in a movie about Queen. All the various managers and producers of various things say, "drivel." A few days ago I reported that Borat would play Freddie Mercury, because I saw a story saying that in Aftonbladet. Well, whoever thought it up had a good idea, I think. Who knows maybe they'll do it after all. Please, Borat, please!

I'll Say!

Cypriot troops have banned the use of the sex toy made in Britian named the Love Bug 2. They say that it puts out "waves" that interfere with their radio communications. What the hell do they use for radio? Not very secure if you ask me. Or, could the sexual energy produce radio waves?

He Will, He Will Rock You

Borat will. Sascha Baron Cohen will play Freddie Mercury in a new file about Queen. Check the link, they even look the same.

Skepticism Well Placed

Well, it turns out that no one really knows who lies dead in the coffin. The Iraqi government said that some tribal fighters killed Abu Ayub al Masri. Then the Interior Ministry said they had the body of some other guy named al Baghdadi, the alleged spiritual leader of Al Qaeda in Iraq. Now, the US announces they have killed Al Qaeda's "Information Minister" named al Juburi. One body makes three al Qaeda members. Sounds just like some of the accounting that went on at Enron.

Man Close to Bin Laden in Guantanamo

We've caught so many number threes of Al-Qaida, it's a wonder anyone takes the number three job anymore. The latest "major operative" we've caught is Abd al Hadi al-Iraki. He is "close to Bin Laden." Hell, everyone we catch is as close to Bin Laden as his jugular vein ;-) Have you ever heard of this guy? Me neither. I think they just keep dragging up the shaggy looking Middle Eastern men, and tell us they're some bogey-man. Funny how we can catch all this guys near and dear to Bin Laden and al-Zawahiri, but we can't catch them. Sounds like a shell game to me. Besides this guy looks like a man in my office before his hair turned gray. Matt is that you?

Goodbye Sandy

We lost Sandy today. She was a 16 1/2 year old Cocker Spaniel that wrapped me around her dew claw. We got Sandy on March 24, 1991, and we gave her up today April 20, 2007. What a dog! She taught me so much that I needed to learn. I am indebted to her more than I could ever repay. Bless you Sandy, you made my life more than what it might have been otherwise.






So long, Sandy
Your blonde curly hair
And your ever playful spirit
Added to our lives in ways uncountable.

You opened me up to life
That I never knew was there
My throat tightens and my heart aches
To think of how you blessed life
More than life blessed you.

Bounding in and out of sight
In a field full of bluebonnets
With your tail never leaving view
Come back some time, Sandy
We'll do it all over again.

That Skirt Looks Just Too Violent

Yes, a violent skirt has become a problem at the Miss Universe contest. It turns out that the home team (the contest takes place in Mexico City) broke the uh...rules? Miss Mexico had chosen to wear a skirt with images of Mexican history on it. One of those images shows a man standing before a firing squad, and another depicted some fallen Catholic insurgents who rose up against the secular government in Mexico back in the 1920s. The designers wanted to depict Mexican history as it really happened. Well, critics jumped all over that one, and the Mexican entrant has decided to re-design the skirt.

Parody of a Parody

I don't know if I should say it had to happen, but it did happen. Peaches does a parody of Alanis Morissette's parody of Fergie's My Humps. Only this time it's called My Dumps. Whatcha gonna do with all that tripe? All that tripe comin' out your pipe?

SMU Doesn't Want Bush's Library

They thought it would distinguish the university to have the George W. Bush library on campus, but a large number of professors and even Methodist bishops don't want anything to do with him. Of course, if you had a university, would you want it to have connections with an illiterate war criminal? No, I didn't think so. We've had enough of Bush here in Texas to last more than a lifetime. Put his library somewhere else - like Baghdad maybe.

I Just Wanna Be Sedated

While waiting in one of those little "alcoves" (an open area separated by a thin curtain" in the procedure waiting area, I heard my neighbor tell her husband that she felt scared about a colonoscopy and, "I just wanna be sedated." I began thinking that would make a perfect title for a heavy metal song. Hell, maybe somebody has already done it, I don't know.

Well, the sedation sure worked on me! The nurses tell you that they give you something that makes you forget. It sure does! I kept asking the same thing over and over (at least the Goddess says I did). Of all things, I kept asking if I was "personable" when the doctor came by. Personable? Where did that come from?

Anyway, the doctor pronounced me in good shape and I don't have to do the colonoscopy for another 10 years.

It Has Started

Well, sort of the opposite of what Jesus said at the end on the cross, "It is finished." In my case it has only started. I have the singular pleasure of undergoing a colonoscopy tomorrow. And today I have started with the uh..."clean out" to put it nicely. About 30 minutes ago I took the first dose of some kind of stuff that makes you spend all of your time in the bathroom. It hasn't kicked in yet, so I'm typing this right now. I may not have the chance later ;-)