Tears of Blood

A statue of the Virgin Mary is crying red tears in a Catholic church in Sacramento, California. It's not what you think! She's not crying for the sins of the world, no, she crying for the mess Arnold Schwarzenegger has made by being the Governor.

El Preservativo Argentino



En conmemoración del Día Mundial Contra el SIDA el gobierno de la ciudad de Buenos Aires en la República Argentina se metió la verga...ehr...el obelisco en el centro de la ciudad en un preservativo. ¡Nada menos de un preservativo de color rosa! ¡Imagínate si se metiera el monument Washington en un preservativo! Una pesadilla por seguro de los Talibanes Americanos.

We Don’t Need ‘Em

We don’t need no one-eyed Mullah
Tellin’ us how to live
We don’t need no turban-wearin’ sheikh
Demandin’ that we give
We don’t need no hook-handed imam
Sayin’ we should forgive

(chorus)
Naw, we don’t need no hypocrite believers
We got plenty of our own
Naw, we don’t need no truth deceivers
Preachin’ bullshit from the throne

We don’t need no Bible-thumpin’ convict
Talkin’ ‘bout how we done wrong
We don’t need no latter day prophet
Singin’ us the money givin’ song
We don’t need no money-grubbin’ lawyer
Makin’ us out to be his pawns

(chorus)
Naw, we don’t need no hypocrite believers
We got plenty of our own
Naw, we don’t need no truth deceivers
Preachin’ bullshit from the throne

We don’t need no blood-stained surgeon
Pointin’ out our faults
We don’t need no one-legged butcher
Sayin’ how the battle is fought
We don’t need no cross-dressin’ Crown Prince
With a lesson he thinks should be taught

(chorus)
Naw, we don’t need no hypocrite believers
We got plenty of our own
Naw, we don’t need no truth deceivers
Preachin’ bullshit from the throne

We don’t need no born-again Christian
Tellin’ us when we can die
We don’t need no TV preacher
Rantin’ ‘bout what food to buy
We don’t need no corrupt politician
Smilin’ and tellin’ us a lie

(chorus)
Naw, we don’t need no hypocrite believers
We got plenty of our own
Naw, we don’t need no truth deceivers
Preachin’ bullshit from the throne

Eli, Eli, Lama Sabachtani?

The Church of All Stars in Norway is on to something, I think. Not sure what it is, but it's something.

Iatrogenic Traffic Report

From Wikipedia: "An iatrogenic condition is a state of ill health or adverse effect caused by medical treatment, usually due to mistakes made in treatment."

Generally, it means that what the doctor used to treat the problem actually created a bigger problem. In other words, the cure is worse than the disease.

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving is normally a very light traffic day. Lot's of people take the day off to get ready for Thanksgiving. This morning on I-35 we were just flying along about 60 or 65 mps when we suddenly slow down. I began to lament to myself that on one of the best traffic days of the whole year, we don't get a break because someone had an accident.

We creep along for a mile or two, then I spot one of those TV vans sitting on an overpass with the big pole sticking up to transmit back to the station. Turns out, the TV van with the big pole was causing the slowdown.

So, covering the "traffic situation" is causing a traffic situation. The law of unintended consequences at work.

42 Years

The U.S. president, John F. Kennedy, died 42 years ago today. I was 12 years old in the 7th grade at the time, and I lived in Dallas. It was a Friday, and the first I heard of it was from a kid that would go home for lunch. He was sort of an outcast, because none of the rest of us left school at lunch. He came back telling this unbelievable tale he had see on TV while he had been home. He said that the president had been shot downtown, and was "bleeding from all points of the head." He said that like he was quoting the TV. None of us believed him.

About an hour later, during math class, one of the girls who had left that morning to go with her dad to see the motorcade came back to school, but was very upset. Just a few minutes after that the principal announced over the loudspeaker that the president had been shot and killed.

We all understood that something really big had happened, but we didn't know why it was such a big deal. The next class was spelling, and the teacher was so upset that she opened all the windows in the classroom. It was chilly that day, and I for one thought that was over-reacting. It was cold in there!

Later that day I walked home with a friend and we saw some of the coverage on TV. We also went to the park across the street to play football. I walked home from there after dark, and I remember thinking that it was sad about the president.

My parents and I went to the church that night for a covered dish dinner that was already planned, but the topic of all conversation was the assassination. The preacher's kid and I (another preacher's kid) went to the parsonage down the street and watched TV. The only thing on was coverage of the assassination.

Yes, I remember where I was when I heard. Do you? Click on the # below (just next to my name), scroll down, and click comment.

W's Excellent Adventure

Our Fearless Leader's trip to China has some unexpected snags. Scroll down to the heading "No Exit Strategy."

iCum?

Yes, the iPod and sex toys have been combined into the iBuzz. It promises to be a great "stocking stuffer" if you catch my drift. The iBuzz is an MP3 player and a vibrator in one. It even has attachments. I wonder how it works with Bolero.

Return from Vacation

I was on vacation last week. We didn't travel anywhere, I just stayed home and did whatever I wanted to for the week. The Goddess didn't have the week off. It was so nice to just rent videos, read the Internet, go to see a movie, blah, blah, blah that it's a real downer to come back to work.

In the cattle industry a downer is an animal that has fallen due to some illness like Mad Cow Disease. Well, I'm a downer this week at work. BTW, I saw the movie Office Space.

Oh C'mon Ayman, She's the Least of Your Worries

Ayman al-Zawahiri, so-called right-hand man of Osama bin Laden, has declared that the Queen of England is "one of Islam's worst enemies." Hell, she can't even keep her grown kids from fucking up, how's she gonna hurt Islam? Gimme a break, Ayman! Osama's recent death in the earthquake must be getting to him ;-)

Just a Minute...I'm Holding Up a Bank

A woman with a light Spanish accent robs banks in Virginia, but doesn't want to interrupt her cell phone conversation while she's at it. If she ever gets caught, she can claim she was telling the person on the phone to "give me your money."

I Talked to My Doctor

About Panexa, shouldn't you?

Jackson 3

Michael Jackson has decided to leave the US for good. Good! He feels he was treated badly here. Huh? Treated badly? He got acquitted, for God's sake. What about all that adoration for all those years?

He's also dreaming of a new band made up of his kids. He's going to turn into his own dad, and be an asshole stage-father.

Michael, just go away...a long way away.

Oh Yeah, They Always Make That Sound

Jill Knispel smuggled a parrot out of a pet store in her bra. She planned to exchange the bird for a 1964 Volkswagen. She worked in the store she stole the bird from, and was using it to buy the VW from a friend of her employer. Duh!

Nectar of the Gods?




I suppose it was just a matter of time before Jesus Juice hit the market.

Remember: The Opposite of Everything Is True

Whenever Presidend Bush or one of his associates makes a statement, you can take it to the bank that the opposite of whatever was said is true. For example, the President said, "I'm confident that Harriett Meirs will be confirmed by the Senate," two days before she withdrew her name. Or how about this classis, "Saddam Hussein has stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction." Today the President said during a stop in Panama, "Everything we do is within the law. we do not torture." What do you think that means? Especially when the Vice-President is lobbying hard to change a bill that would clearly outlaw torture. Mr. Cheney wants to exempt the CIA from that law. Haven't they done a great job so far with torture in their tool kit?

He's All Thumbs

He has plenty to spare. Who's that? Hizzoner the Mayor of Las Vegas. He says taggers should have their thumbs cut off on TV. You'd have hell eating a double meat double cheese after that!

Chocolate, Really?

La Repubblica, an Italian newspaper, is not only reporting on the fake document from Niger about the "yellowcake", but also that

In effetti, il cioccolato contiene cannabinoidi.

What was that again?

In effect, chocolate contains cannabinioids.

Cannabinoids? Like what's in marijuana? Whoa! Where's my Snickers?

Lost & Found?

The Senate Democrats "forced" the whole Senate to meet in closed door session to debate the justifications for the War in Iraq. What's happening, have they found their balls after all this time? It takes a Special Prosecutor to give their balls back. That's a damn shame.

Can You Say Coup d'Etat?

Yes, I can. It's koo-day-tah. Way back in June of 2004, Michael Rupert of fromthewilderness.com wrote that we were going to witness regime change here in the US. Granted, Rupert has some outlandish ideas, but this one seemed to have some plausability.

Boiled down to the bare facts it says that Bush and Cheney had fucked the CIA over regarding the ill-fated war in Iraq. He warned at the time that it's not wise to try to fool the CIA. Remember, these guys have been doing regime change behind the scenes for decades. You really should keep them on your good side. But, hey, don't listen to me, check this out. It's taking a long time, but who knows, it just might happen?