Free Fall, Expensive Landing + 2

Yesterday and today mark the dates 2 years ago that I had my most unfortunate incident, and the surgery to repair it, respectively. It was two years ago yesterday that I accomplished my first (and last) skydive, resulting in two broken bones in my right leg. I broke the tibia and the fibula which the orthopedic surgeons quaintly refer to as a �tib-fib.�

On October 14, 2001 (a beautiful fall day without a cloud in the sky) I did a tandem jump from 12,000 feet. A tandem jump is where you are strapped, buckled, tied and everywhich way connected to an experienced jumper who does all the work. The guy I was attached to weighed about 250 lbs. Our weights together would easily exceed 425 lbs. Let me just say that it�s mighty hard to stop 425 lbs. of mass traveling at a velocity of 1 meter per second with one spindly leg contacting the earth at a most inopportune time. The results (should you ever want to try it) are that your foot will turn in ways you could never imagine, and you will get to take a ride in an ambulance. Lying in a field near a bed of ants, being unable to move very much in a completely ridiculous Evil Knieval-looking skydiving suit with a group of 6-8 onlookers asking questions like what is your driver�s license number while having to pee really bad and waiting on the ambulance to arrive are what you get without any extra charge.

On October 15, 2001 I had surgery to repair the break. I had a long thin piece of metal installed in my leg with eleven screws (one of them really more the size of a bolt) that secure it to the tibia, and keep the tibia in the proper place. The surgeon seemed completely unconcerned about the broken fibula, and indicated that it would take care of itself (makes you wonder just what it�s for). I got to use a walker (practice for my old age) for a couple of months, and a cane for another four months. But, the best part is that I had a handicapped parking pass. The handicapped parking spaces aren�t all they�re cracked up to be though. Many of them are not at all close to the front door of an establishment, and many times they are occupied (sometimes with cars that do not have a f__king handicapped pass)!

Even now, two years later, I still have aches and pains from those two lovely days in October. Blessed are the skydivers, for they shall touch the earth.

He Was Just Trying to Shake Hands

A man in Berlin must appear in court Thursday, because he taught his German shephard to do the Heil Hitler salute. On top of that, the dog's name is Adolf!

Talk About Evil! This Is Evil!

L'Esgl�sia cat�lica difon que els preservatius s�n permeables al virus de la sida


L'Esgl�sia cat�lica assegura, als pa�sos m�s afectats per la sida, que els preservatius no s�n efica�os per evitar la transmissi� de la malaltia. Segons publica avui el diari "The Guardian", l'Esgl�sia cat�lica est� divulgant, entre la poblaci� dels pa�sos afectats per la sida, que no s'ha d'usar el preservatiu perqu� el virus d'immunodefici�ncia humana pot passar pels seus porus. El rotatiu assegura que, malgrat el consens de la comunitat cient�fica, ratificat per l'Organitzaci� Mundial de la Salut (OMS), l'Esgl�sia est�n la idea que els preservatius s�n permeables al virus.

They Did What?

This from the Harpers website about the Paris, Texas high school band, "School officials in Paris, Texas, apologized after the high school band played "Deutschland �ber alles," with the Nazi flag flying, on the evening of Rosh Hashana."

Would That Be Like a Rebuilt Alternator?

Just like a recapped tire, you can get your vagina rebuilt. Hmmm...how long before a rebuilt penis?

Uh...The Window's Open, Beavis

Are we not wasps who spend all day in a fruitless attempt to traverse a window-pane - while the other half of the window is wide open? - Fingers Pointing Toward the Moon by Wei Wu Wei

We Are Sadder Than Mexicans?

New Scientist magazine published a study that says Nigerians are the happiest people in the world. Mexican are second. Both of those countries have had repressive authoritarian governments and rampant poverty, yet they are happiest. Damn, makes me sad to think about it.

Happy Birthday, Mohandas

Today is Mahatma Ghandi's 134th birthday. Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called children of God! Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama, Rama, Hare, Hare.

Of Course, This Isn't About Me

How swiftly men perish who praise themselves, unappraised of
Their real measure and unable to live peacefully with others.

Load too many of them and even peacock feathers
Would break the cart's axle.

-Tirukkural 48: 474-475

Is He Bragging or Complaining?

I was born from the nectar of immortality as the primordial horse and as Indra's noble
elephant. Among men, I am the king.

Among weapons I am the thunderbolt. I am Kamadhuk, the cow that fulfills all desires; I am
Kandarpa, the power of sex, and Vasuki, the king of snakes.

-Bhagavad Gita 10:27-28

But Do They Have the Death Penalty?

Scientists have discovered that monkeys have a sense of (in)justice. They don't like when another monkey gets rewarded more for the same task.

Superstitions

It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions. - T.H. Huxley

So, I guess the Big Bang Theory just isn't old enough yet for it to be superstition.

Hoy Es El Dieciseis de Septiembre

Hoy es el dia en que los mexicanos declararon su independencia de los espanoles. Es el dia de la libertad mexicana. Ahora, la pregunta pertinente es, cuando van a declarar su independencia de los EEUU?

No Shit

Sitting quietly alone
meditating is not hard.
What is hard is living
on a broad scale and
responding to the world at large.

- Wu Yubi (1391-1469)

Esta Muerto Bin Laden

Un experto del terrorismo dice que el video de Bin Laden que se revelo el anteayer es un montaje de imagenes previamente divulagadas. A mi quiere decir que el hijo de puta esta muerto. Lo que merece tambien. Que maten al otro, al Zawahiri!

Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down

One of my all-time favorite hang-over songs was sung by Johnny Cash who died today. Have one more for dessert, Johnny!

�Caballo-Bomba?

OK, ahora dicen que est�n usando animales para sus bombas en Colombia. �Qu� vergonzosos! �Por qu� no se usan sus proprios cuerpos? A lo menos los palestinos se suiciden, y no matan a animales. Probablemente, es porque valen m�s los animales en Palestina que los humanos. �Cu�nto m�s?

Send Lawyers, Guns, and Money...

The day has finally arrived that our beloved, twisted Warren Zevon has passed on to that eternal resting place (�I�ll Sleep When I�m Dead�) where he can reminisce with Lynard Skynard (�Play that Dead Band�s Song�) about the virtues of Alabama, and look away (�Desperados Under the Eaves�) to the time when Roland, Norway�s favorite son, caught Van Owen in a barroom in Mombassa drinking gin (�Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner�), and wait until we send for him (�The Envoy�) because there�s guns in Damascus, woe Jerusalem.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall tell the truth.

It Took a Canadian to Write This

Oh, those ten commandments! What was that about graven images? Hmmm...looks an awful lot like the monument.

The Noose Is Tightening?

Boy, it sure must take some strength to tighten that noose! It's been tightening for two full years, and it's not caught him yet.