42 Years

The U.S. president, John F. Kennedy, died 42 years ago today. I was 12 years old in the 7th grade at the time, and I lived in Dallas. It was a Friday, and the first I heard of it was from a kid that would go home for lunch. He was sort of an outcast, because none of the rest of us left school at lunch. He came back telling this unbelievable tale he had see on TV while he had been home. He said that the president had been shot downtown, and was "bleeding from all points of the head." He said that like he was quoting the TV. None of us believed him.

About an hour later, during math class, one of the girls who had left that morning to go with her dad to see the motorcade came back to school, but was very upset. Just a few minutes after that the principal announced over the loudspeaker that the president had been shot and killed.

We all understood that something really big had happened, but we didn't know why it was such a big deal. The next class was spelling, and the teacher was so upset that she opened all the windows in the classroom. It was chilly that day, and I for one thought that was over-reacting. It was cold in there!

Later that day I walked home with a friend and we saw some of the coverage on TV. We also went to the park across the street to play football. I walked home from there after dark, and I remember thinking that it was sad about the president.

My parents and I went to the church that night for a covered dish dinner that was already planned, but the topic of all conversation was the assassination. The preacher's kid and I (another preacher's kid) went to the parsonage down the street and watched TV. The only thing on was coverage of the assassination.

Yes, I remember where I was when I heard. Do you? Click on the # below (just next to my name), scroll down, and click comment.

W's Excellent Adventure

Our Fearless Leader's trip to China has some unexpected snags. Scroll down to the heading "No Exit Strategy."

iCum?

Yes, the iPod and sex toys have been combined into the iBuzz. It promises to be a great "stocking stuffer" if you catch my drift. The iBuzz is an MP3 player and a vibrator in one. It even has attachments. I wonder how it works with Bolero.

Return from Vacation

I was on vacation last week. We didn't travel anywhere, I just stayed home and did whatever I wanted to for the week. The Goddess didn't have the week off. It was so nice to just rent videos, read the Internet, go to see a movie, blah, blah, blah that it's a real downer to come back to work.

In the cattle industry a downer is an animal that has fallen due to some illness like Mad Cow Disease. Well, I'm a downer this week at work. BTW, I saw the movie Office Space.

Oh C'mon Ayman, She's the Least of Your Worries

Ayman al-Zawahiri, so-called right-hand man of Osama bin Laden, has declared that the Queen of England is "one of Islam's worst enemies." Hell, she can't even keep her grown kids from fucking up, how's she gonna hurt Islam? Gimme a break, Ayman! Osama's recent death in the earthquake must be getting to him ;-)

Just a Minute...I'm Holding Up a Bank

A woman with a light Spanish accent robs banks in Virginia, but doesn't want to interrupt her cell phone conversation while she's at it. If she ever gets caught, she can claim she was telling the person on the phone to "give me your money."

I Talked to My Doctor

About Panexa, shouldn't you?

Jackson 3

Michael Jackson has decided to leave the US for good. Good! He feels he was treated badly here. Huh? Treated badly? He got acquitted, for God's sake. What about all that adoration for all those years?

He's also dreaming of a new band made up of his kids. He's going to turn into his own dad, and be an asshole stage-father.

Michael, just go away...a long way away.

Oh Yeah, They Always Make That Sound

Jill Knispel smuggled a parrot out of a pet store in her bra. She planned to exchange the bird for a 1964 Volkswagen. She worked in the store she stole the bird from, and was using it to buy the VW from a friend of her employer. Duh!

Nectar of the Gods?




I suppose it was just a matter of time before Jesus Juice hit the market.

Remember: The Opposite of Everything Is True

Whenever Presidend Bush or one of his associates makes a statement, you can take it to the bank that the opposite of whatever was said is true. For example, the President said, "I'm confident that Harriett Meirs will be confirmed by the Senate," two days before she withdrew her name. Or how about this classis, "Saddam Hussein has stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction." Today the President said during a stop in Panama, "Everything we do is within the law. we do not torture." What do you think that means? Especially when the Vice-President is lobbying hard to change a bill that would clearly outlaw torture. Mr. Cheney wants to exempt the CIA from that law. Haven't they done a great job so far with torture in their tool kit?

He's All Thumbs

He has plenty to spare. Who's that? Hizzoner the Mayor of Las Vegas. He says taggers should have their thumbs cut off on TV. You'd have hell eating a double meat double cheese after that!

Chocolate, Really?

La Repubblica, an Italian newspaper, is not only reporting on the fake document from Niger about the "yellowcake", but also that

In effetti, il cioccolato contiene cannabinoidi.

What was that again?

In effect, chocolate contains cannabinioids.

Cannabinoids? Like what's in marijuana? Whoa! Where's my Snickers?

Lost & Found?

The Senate Democrats "forced" the whole Senate to meet in closed door session to debate the justifications for the War in Iraq. What's happening, have they found their balls after all this time? It takes a Special Prosecutor to give their balls back. That's a damn shame.

Can You Say Coup d'Etat?

Yes, I can. It's koo-day-tah. Way back in June of 2004, Michael Rupert of fromthewilderness.com wrote that we were going to witness regime change here in the US. Granted, Rupert has some outlandish ideas, but this one seemed to have some plausability.

Boiled down to the bare facts it says that Bush and Cheney had fucked the CIA over regarding the ill-fated war in Iraq. He warned at the time that it's not wise to try to fool the CIA. Remember, these guys have been doing regime change behind the scenes for decades. You really should keep them on your good side. But, hey, don't listen to me, check this out. It's taking a long time, but who knows, it just might happen?

Official A & The Artful Dodger

I would be gratified if Patrick Fitzgerald were able to indict Official A. But, I would be ecstatic if he could take Cheney down. Disappointment reigned in my heart yesterday, because I wanted so much more. However, the much more just might happen after all. There's nothing like having your nuts in a metaphorical vise to bring on a Come to Jesus moment.

Watch Out for That Cat!

A driver in Japan ran over 36 kids and an adult trying to avoid hitting a cat. The driver swerved, ran up on the sidewalk and ran down a bunch of kids from a daycare going to a museum. Well, at least he has his priorities straight.

El Beso de la Muerte

Fue apenas el domingo cuando el Presidente George Bush indicó su confianza que el senado iba a confirmar a Harriet Miers. Cuando un presidente indica enfaticamente que tiene confianza en un candidato que tiene algunas problemas con el senado es por seguro el beso de la muerte. Recuerda que el opuesto de todo es la verdad.

Fitz Has the Anti-Christ

Patrick Fitzgerald the Special Prosecutor in the Valerie Plame outing seems to have caught a big fish. Yeah, I'd say so. He caught the Anti-Christ Hisself! Suddenly, I feel warm and fuzzy all over.

Alpha & Omega?

We have reached that unhappy point in the hurricane season where we break all previous records. There is now a 22nd named storm in the Caribbean, it's name is Alpha because we ran out of regular names. That's two firsts...22 named storms in the Atlantic, and the first time to use Greek letters to name them.

By the way, the weather is getting windier in Washington too. Only the hurricane is named Fitzgerald. It's hard to guess which one might cause more damage. I'm just salivating at the thought of another high-level Washington scandal! Oh, Dick Cheney, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...