One in Three Americans Are Chronically Overworked

One third of all American's are overworked. That's sad to hear, but let me tell ya, I'm a member of the other 2/3. But, hey, it ain't easy!

A Product in Demand

A student in Brazil was arrested recently for selling drugs. Uh, Viagra that is. Yes, he was set up in business with 7000 boxes of the stuff. Seems a shipment was stolen last August. Did he keep any for personal use?

Ultima Cena

Ultima Cena, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

An idea whose time has come. Well, not to "Old Europe", but at least to my blog. Italy, France and Spain have banned its public display. Hey, y'all! We're the religious fanatics! Quit crowding us out.

Nearly & Almost Just Don't Count

Sorry, President Musharraf, but almost catching Bin Laden ten months ago is just as good as almost winning the lottery. Nuthin'! Gimme a break, what are you after, more military aid? Isn't having the A bomb enough? And what about that guy of yours, Mr. Khan, that got off with no penalty for selling nuclear technology? With friends like y'all, we'll be dead soon.

Like a Breath of Fresh Air

A new product is on the market. It's a little hard to describe, so just click on the link, and breathe a little easier.

Ama al Projimo

Ama al Projimo, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

Yes, it says "Love your neighbor as yourself." But, that's a condom in his hand! Does that mean ya gotta use a condom to jack off?

The 100 Unsexiest Women

It's like they say: Someone has to finish at the bottom of the class.

Psst...Hey, I've Got a Plan

A fire broke out in a prison in the Dominican Republic very early Monday morning. They say that two gangs were fighting each other for control of the place, when some of them set fire to their bedding. Some 100+ prisoners died. Of the ones who didn't some were wounded by gunshots and stabbing. Makes ya wonder just how much effort the guards put into regaining control. What I reckon happened is that a guard gave a prisoner a pistol, and let boys be boys. Nice way to get rid of a bunch of trouble-makers. Hmm...now that we can't kill minors in prison anymore, maybe we should think about...

What's This World Coming To?

The US Supreme Court has outlawed the death penalty for minors. What the hell? Us Texans are proud of killin' the young and the mentally retarded! Now they've taken that away from us. Damn! So, what are they gonna do next, outlaw polygamy?

Is That a Muslim Arts & Crafts Store?

According to Daniel Pipes, out of favor neo-con, the "Wahhabi Lobby" in the US is what we need to get rid of. He says there are NGOs here that are giving radical fundamentalist Islam a good name. Where has this guy been? Hanging out with Paul Wolfowitz and smokin' crack? Gimme a break!

But...It's The Real Thing!

Nazaneen Rashid says that the new liberty has only brought "us cans of Coca-Cola". Considering the way we bring liberty and prosperity to people she should be glad it was Coca-Cola and not Shasta.

Anti-Semitism: It's Not Just for Jews Anymore

Looks like the Neo-Nazis have spewed their anti-semitic vitriol in a new direction. But, hey, Arabs are semites too! Of course, not all Arabs are Muslim, but not all Nazis are German either.

Don't Bring that Homewrecking Bitch to MY House!

President Bush has declared Camilla Parker Bowles unwelcome to the White House. The President considered it inappropriate for them to be invited to the White House, because (get this) they are both divorced and have been involved in some recent scandals. I think that makes just about all of us Americans ineligible to be invited.

It's Been a Busy Week

This week has seen the assassination of the former Prime Minister of Lebanon, Dear Leader Kim Jong Il's birthday, North Korea and Iran announcing nuclear visions, Syria in hot water over the assassination, Syria and Iran (as if they both needed more heat) announced an agreement to defend themselves from the US, and it was Valentine's Day for God's sake! But, the biggest news (which came from a European source) is that the Pope is dead and that Osama Bin Laden is actually in the Vatican posing as the Pope. It's true! I know it's hard to believe, but they can do wonders with extreme make-overs nowadays. Although, I'm not sure why a middle-aged Arab with a full beard would want to become an old, old Polack with Parkinson's disease, but my source is impeccable. Take it to the bank!

Speak French to Avoid Delinquency

A new study in France has determined that the reason children of immigrants turn to delinquency is that they don't speak French. What a novel idea! Why haven't we thought of it before? Now, all we have to do is teach the Bloods, Crips, and Mara Salvatrucha to speak French. Pas problem!

Let's Go Guantanamo

A new British reality TV show called Guantanamo Guidebook will have contestants submit to torture a la Camp X-ray to see how long they can last. Bring 'em off!

Deep Throat Was the Pope!

According to several media sources, Deep Throat is ill and close to death. Well, now, just who's been knocking at death's door recently? Why, it's the Pope. Yep, the Pope was Deep Throat.

Oh So German!

A new step for "Reality TV" is being take by the Germans. They are going to have a reality TV program called Sperm Race. No shit, they really are! Twelve men will donate sperm (not on camera unfortunately) which will be frozen and then transported to Cologne where the race will actually take place. There will be a gynocologist there as "judge" to make sure that everything is proper. The winning sperm will give it's "donor" a new red Porsche. But, how German to find the fastest sperm to give the glory. The survival of the fittest and all that. Das Deutschen Volk sind Ueber Alles!

Uh, Can You Say Unintended Consequences?

After taking the course for young people on abstaining from sex, the students in the course promptly go out and not only have sex, but have more of it! Would that be classified as "collateral damage?"

How Was That Again?

Kim Jong-Il the Dear Leader of North Korea will passionately fall for Condoleeza Rice. He will escape an assasination attempt, open his nuclear plant(s) to foreign tourists, and will reveal the hideout of Osama Bin Laden. All this according to the Oracle of the Rooster in Hong Kong. And we've been wasting time using the CIA.

Down to Seeds and Stems Again

Just pick up the Nieuw Revu and you can get two marijuana seeds for your garden. It might take a little while to pay off, but, hey, it's free!

If I Turn Down a Job, Can I Still Get Unemployment?

Well, no, not if it's suitable work. Women under 55 look out!

Not Metaphorically Speaking

When they say, "Fed him to the lions" it's not always a metaphor.

Tired of Being Embarrassed about Being American?

Well, now you can Go Canadian! They will think you're Canadian, not American when you travel overseas. Now, how do I get a Canadian passport?

Smokin' the Word of God

In Winnipeg, Manitoba inhabitants of the jail cannot use tobacco of any kind. So, if you want to smoke, you can't, but they'll provide you with nicotine gum. You boil it, and soak tea leaves with the nicotine loaded water. Once the tea leaves dry you roll them up in pages torn from the Bibles provided for the inmates' spiritual needs. Now, that's the way to get the Word of God into someone! The good folks at the Gideon Bible organization say that 50 Bibles have been used in this way. They'll glady replace them though.

Rose Scented Men?

According to a new study from Florida, women who wear floral scented perfumes are perceived as being thinner than they really are. So, how about for men? Could I "lose" a few pounds with some rose scented after shave, or maybe gardenia scented deodorant?

I Do Fucking Swear

Brett Scallions of Fuel opened the youth concert for the Inauguration of George W with the words, "Welcome to the greatest fucking country in the world!" Does Bono come to mind?

Norway's on Top of the World!

According to a new survey from Durex a condom manufacturer, Norwegians lead the world in the use of dildos. Norway and Iceland right there together. Must be the cold weather.

Drive-thru Convenience

I've had a cold since last Thursday and haven't been feeling well at all. This morning I was feeling somewhat better, so I decided to go to the Post Office to mail a letter and get the oil changed in my truck. The Post Office has a drive-thru lane for mailing letters. There are three mail boxes in a row on the side of the lane with extensions that sort of "reach" out to your car window. While driving there, I realized that I wasn't feeling as well as I thought, but I was already on the way, so I kept going. I pulled into the lane and rolled up to the box. Another car had come into the lane behind me and was waiting.

I reached up to put my letter in the extension, and it fell back toward me. Only, I didn't catch it, and it fell to the ground. I opened my truck door, and tried to reach it, but I couldn't. I unfastened my seat belt and leaned over a little further. Still not enough. I then had to lie down on the seat of the truck and extend my arm as far as I could to reach the letter. Not enough. I then sort of leaned down while lying in the seat and almost fell out of the truck. In fact I would have except the mail box extension wouldn't let my door open up any more. I strained and squeezed and finally reached the letter. I got it and sat back up with great difficulty. It was then that I noticed that I had kicked over my cup of coffee, and it had emptied out onto the floorboard of my truck. I cursed loudly, and more than once. I put the letter in the box, buckled my seat belt, accidentally honked the horn, and pulled away. I looked into my rear view mirror to see if the people behind me were laughing, and they seemed not to even have noticed. I'm sure they were just trying to hold it in until I pulled away. God bless them.

The place for changing the oil is across the street from the Post Office. I pulled in there feeling really exhausted. The guy came up and I told him what I wanted. I went inside to wait and he got in the truck to pull it into the bay. I remember that there was coffee all over the floorboard of the truck, but I just didn' have the energy to even say anything to him. God bless him, he didn't say anything about it either. It wasn't until later on my way home that I remembered the towel under my seat that I could wipe up the coffee with.

When I bought our Christmas tree this year, I had to cut some of the lower branches off to get it into the stand. I put a couple of those branches in the floor of my truck to try to get some nice Christmasy scent in there. Well, I hadn't taken them out yet, so the coffee went all over a couple of Douglas fir branches in the floor with assorted scrap paper and fir needles. It looks like a real mess. It did anyway, but with the coffee it sure does now. Even after spilled coffee, Douglas fir branches, and trash in the floorboard the guys at the oil change place didn't mention it. They must be used to it.

You Da Bomb, Man!

The US military tried to develop a "sexbomb" to use on enemy soldiers. Now, here's the catch. It was to make them homosexual. A bomb to make men into queers. What will we try next? Imagine dropping such a bomb on Al-Qaida. They'd all be fucking each other so much that they'd never have time to plan terrorist attacks. Hey, maybe the bomb was successfully developed, and they used it on Al-Qaida. I always wondered about those guys anyway. The don't want to have women touch them. Hmmm....are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Number 1 in Pizza Comsumption

Norwegians, yes Norwegians, are Number One in the whole world in pizza consumption. The eat 5.4 kilos per person per year of pizza. Who would have thought it?

I Am Shocked, Shocked!

Police in Pilot Point, Texas have required an art gallery to cover the breasts on an image of Eve at the time of her creation. Wow, if we don't look bad enough...now we're trying to deny that Eve had tits. Give me a break!

Cunts in Lion Land

An artist in Leeuwarden, Alfred Stucki, advertised his latest exhibition with a hanging sign emblazoned with the letters K U T which in Dutch means cunt. Included on the sign was the image of a vagina. In this case it was really an acronym for Kunst Uit Tranen which means something like "Art Out of Watering." Here in Austin there's a radio station with the call letters KUT which I've always found amusing.

Man, That's Some Tough Bacon!

A 64 year-old man in Groningen, Netherlands ate his hearing aid. He thought it was some bacon that had fallen from his plate. I wonder if he heard it.

Uh, How Long Ago Was Dirty Dancing?

A school official in California has cancelled all the dances for this year at Lemoore Union High School, because they're well, too suggestive.

The Salvadoran Option

Reports indicate that the Pentagon has decided to implement the "Salvadoran Option" in Iraq. That's a reference to what were called death squads or escuadrones de la muerte about 20 years ago in Latin America. They were principally extreme right-wing groups who went around assasinating left-wing guerrillas. At the time many people accused the US of supporting the death squads, which we strenuously denied. I wonder if this is a kind of indirect admission to our involvement back then? As I remember, the death squad effort was not one that met with great success. So, why would they think it would work now?

You Can't Tell the Hookers without a Program

In Bogota, Colombia a new municipal regulation prevents prostitutes working in the zona de tolerancia (zone of tolerance) from wearing mini-skirts or other revealing clothing. It's all an effort to protect the sensibilities of the local residents and maintain the morals of the neighborhood.

Okay, let me get this straight. There is a area in the city specifically for the purpose of letting hookers work there, and in that same zone they cannot dress like a hooker. So, in order to protect the morals of the non-hookers, you make the hookers dress just like them. Now, it seems to me that men are going to be propositioning the highly moral ladies, because they can't tell them from the hookers. Something sounds out of whack here.

Poland: Paradise for Plastic Surgery

You can now get plastic surgery in Poland for 1/2 or 1/4 of the price. Breast augmentation at a cut-rate. Something oxymoronic about that.

El Dia de Los Reyes Magos

Today is Epiphany or as the Spanish speaking world calls it, Magi Day. It's the day that the Three Kings of Orient arrived to see the baby Jesus and deliver their gifts. But, the most important thing is that they "went home another way." They didn't go back to Herod and tell him where Jesus was, like he told them to. They went back to where they came from by going a different route. Hmmm...now what if...

The Solution to Unemployment

Send the out of work to work in Asia! Yes, that's it! If you're drawing unemployment benefits, and are willing, you get to go work in tsunami devastated Asia. Those Dutch think of everything.

Seventeen

It's been 17 years since the Goddess and I got married. We married on January 2, 1988. This year we went to a place called Canyon of the Eagles for our anniversary. It's just outside of Burnet (pronounced BUR-nit) on Lake Buchanan (pronounced buh-KAN-un). It's just plain beautiful out there. We just got back home a couple of hours ago. Took down the Christmas tree, put away the boxes and boxes of decorations, and now I'm resting. Sort of.

Marcos Arroyos.com

Yes, a man in China has decided to make the last name of his newborn son Zhao.com. The man's last name is Zhao and he is employed in information technology. What could be better?

Marcos del Col

Starting Saturday, January 1, 2005 the French can select to use either the mother's last name or the father's last name when naming a child. They can even use both separated by a hyphen. But, in cases of disagreement, they will still follow patronymic tradition.

They Caught Me While I Was Praying

Saddam Hussein says through his attorney that the story of his capture promulgated by the Americans is a "stupid Western movie." The truth he says is that he was praying at a friend's house and "I found myself surrounded by Americans without a support force." Praying? I wonder about that.

Remember, Kerry Won The Exit Polls Too

Exit polling shows that Viktor Yuschenko won the second second round of the Presidential election in Ukraine. So, does that mean he really won? Remember America!

President to Be

President, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

"Don't worry, you guys, I have plans for you." - Viktor Yuschenko speaking to a meeting of the Ukrainian Secret Service.

Well, It Wasn't Me!

The Ukrainian Secret Service(SBU)announced on its website today that it had nothing to do with poisoning the opposition candidate for the Presidency, Viktor Yuschenko. Does this shock anyone? Imagine being the top guy at the SBU, and knowing that Yuschenko is gonna with this second attempt at an election. Oooh shit! Time to find a nice dacha in Russia.

A Woman's Vibrating Razor with a "Thicker" Handle?

Yeah, right, a vibrating razor for $9.99 to $11.99. Razor? Well, yeah, I guess you could use it for that too, cutting hair I mean.

Christmas Tree from Mars?

American and Mexican scientists are planning to plant a certain type of pine tree on Mars. No shit! They feel that growing them there will make the planet habitable. But, in the meantime, how about some entrepreneurial spirit? Sell them as Christmas Trees.

Wahhabis and Porn?

Saudis like porn with their religion. Well, at least 97% of internet users try to enter porn related sites. Who said they don't approve of the Western lifestyle?

Mysterieuze Gazwolk Drijft over Amsterdam

Yes, there was a mysterious cloud of gas drifting over Amsterdam Sunday morning December 19. What could it have been? A collective Dutch fart?

No Smoking

Bhutan, a small country in the Himalayas near Nepal, has banned smoking in the entire country. Smoking of tobacco is illegal in any public space in the country. Sales of tobacco are banned as well. So, if you're a smoker, you can only smoke inside your home, and you must leave the country to purchase tobacco products. The government also charges a very high tax on tobacco products brought into the country. And you were pissed when you couldn't smoke at a restaurant! Consider yourself lucky.

Oh, Those Crazy Catalunyans

A Christmas season tradition in Catalunya is the Caganer. That's a shitter. Then there's the cagatio. It's hard to fully explain or appreciate. Just click the link above. Feliz Cagando.

While You're at It...

Members of Parliament in Canada are trying to get women's hygiene products exempt from the national sales tax. So, while they're at it, could they exempt condoms too?

Sushi? I Don't Think So.

Sushi? I Don't Think So., originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

Viktor Yushenko was poisoned by his government. He was campaigning for President of Ukraine and they wanted to eliminate him. They say what changed his face overnight in September, 2004 was eating bad sushi. I don't care for sushi, but I don't believe it would do THAT to you!

Hey, Wait! Sleeping's My Hobby

Arise! Sit up!
What advantage is there in your sleeping;
What sleep is there to those who are afflicted by disease,
Pierced by the arrow of suffering?


-Sutta Nipata

But, Can You Still Get Buttered Popcorn?

Bollywood beats Hollywood to the cell phone market. I'm not sure that's a real victory. Now, you can watch a full-length film on your cell phone. But, why would you want to? Talk about eye strain!

THAT Explains It!

A study of marijuana use shows that using the popular drug leads to increased risk of psychiatric problems. Hmm...no wonder I have a shrink!

Does an Empty Appetizer Plate Cost More Than an Empty Dinner Plate?

Anorexics in Berlin now have a restaurant where they can go not to eat. The owners and chefs are all anorexics. I won't be going there for dinner.

How Much Would It Be Without the Martini?

The Algonquin Hotel in New York is now offering a $10K Martini. Included in the bottom of the glass is a diamond. But, what if you can't stand the taste of a Martini?

Simple and Durable...What More Could You Want?

Yes, it's here. The Grey Sweatsuit Revolution is a fact! And, Baby, it won't be televised.

Exile Where?

You know it's got to be bad when you have to request political exile in fucking El Salvador. Imagine being a police officer in some country and having to request exile in some Derde Wereld backwater like that! Suprisingly they didn't request exile here. We usually like to take in former death squad members, but I guess El Salvador is really the home of los escuadrones de la muerte.

Psst, You Wanna Buy a Car?

Poor Juergen Schrempp, President of DaimlerChrysler, got his official car stolen. It's a Mercedes Class S600. It has a reinforced body and bullet-proof windows. It weighs 3.5 tons. The value is 800,000 euros. I'll bet you could make a good deal on it though.

Chrismukkah

Yes, it's that time of year again. It's when we begin a long season of celebrations. Let's see it starts with Thanksgiving, then Hanukkah, Solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Year, and the biggest one of all Super Sunday. Someone in a "mixed" family, Jewish and Christian that is, has come up with a name for two of the celebrations - Chrismukkah. Just click and learn all about it.

Who?

Ireland tops the list of the 100 best places to live. You mean that place that everyone was dying to get out of about 120 years ago? That place? We even came in 13th! Not even in the top 10. Well, at least we beat the French.

Germans Stink!

That's according to a poll conducted in Germany concerning the workplace and problems there.

It's a Plague of Biblical Proportions!

The locusts are back in Egypt. That was the 8th plague out of ten to get Pharaoh to release the Hebrew slaves. What's next? Passover?

He Is STILL Alive

Really, no shit, Yasser Arafat is alive. There is no possibility witin Islam to disconnect him from life support, so they just have to wait on God. It would be interesting to see a special on MTV of Arafat Unplugged.

Yeah, Well, Tell THAT to Homeland Security!

Yusus Islam a.k.a. Cat Stevens was awarded the Man for Peace Award in Rome. The man handing him the prize was none other than Michael Gorbachov. Funny, wasn't it just a while back that we deported him for being a terrorist?

Ve Haf Vays to Mek You...

Fake an orgasm. Yes, evidently, it's true. A majority of German women say that they "simulate" orgasms. Must be all the leather that gets in the way.

Going Once...Going Twice

Someone, somewhere, has Saddam Hussein's leg, and is auctioning it off on an online auction house. Wanna bid? Go to www.azubo.de. Okay, it's not really his physical leg, it's the leg from his statue that was knocked down by American troops on that famous videotape. But, be careful! The German government is investigating its authenticity.

Make No Mistake

We don't let no faggots get married here in Texas, and we're gonna make that plain to our kids.

Is That Like a Reversible Jacket?

Yes, the Palestinian National Authority has finally admitted that Arafat is in a coma. They say it is a "reversible coma." I've never heard those two words together like that. I think we've been introduced to a new phenomenon. Let me check Wikipedia. No, there's no page with that title. Wanna make one?

Get the Red Out!

Two must-have products for those of us "Blues" living in the "Red" states. One is Vizine to get the "Red" out of our teary red eyes, and the other is Photoshop to replace "Redeye" with a nice blue. To paraphrase Crystal Gayle, "Oh,don't it make my red eyes blue?"

Warp Speed

What took weeks even months back in the '70s when Franco died, and then didn't die, and then did die, has only taken one afternoon today. Just check out this page.

You Say "Medically Complex" I Say "Clinically Dead"

Here's an excerpt from an email I received from one of my "sources."

PNA: Yasser Arafat Dies in Paris?
November 04, 2004 1711 GMT
Several reports, including some from high-ranking European officials, have emerged that Palestinian National Authority leader Yasser Arafat has died in a Paris hospital, though hospital officials have denied the reports, saying Arafat�s condition is "medically complex." Palestinian spokespeople also denied the reports, but specified that Arafat was not "clinically dead."

He's in a coma...wait that's not a fucking coma...that's a medically complex condition, for God's sake!

He's Dead. No, He's Not!

What did I say? It's Franco all over again. The Israelis say he's dead, the French say he's not. But, who can trust either one of them?

He's Doing Very Well...Oops, He's Dead

Yasser Arafat is in a coma according to French sources. Is this going to be another one of those Generalisimo Francisco Franco stories? He's still alive, he's still alive, he's still...uh...dead.

Forgive Us, Father, for We Know Not What We Do

More of the same for four more years. That's not a good thing. America did not deserve what it got after the last election, because the election was stolen. This time it wasn't stolen, and, poor America, will deserve what it gets.

Talk About Jumping the Gun!

Correioweb, a Brazilian news website, has already call it for Kerry. They are predicting 306 electoral votes for Kerry and 218 for Bush. That's out of a total of 538. Wait a minute! What happened to the other 20? Uh-oh, scandal in the offing.

Poor Al Goldstein

Former publisher of Screw magazine, Al Goldstein, find himself homeless these days. The 68 year old Goldstein was working as a greeter at the Second Avenue Deli, but he got fired because he slept there one night. He's so down that another homeless guy at the shelter gave him 5 bucks. When asked if he would do it all over again, he said yes! What a fucking idiot! He wouldn't change anything he says. He must like livin' at the shelter.

It's Election Day and El Dia de Los Muertos

Hmmm...what's that trying to tell us? While we remember to vote, we should also remember the dead. Might the dead be voting after all? Bring 'em on!

Imagine What It Would Be

If we weren't there to help. According to a new study by the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, Columbia University School of Nursing, and Al-Mustansiriya University more than 100,000 Iraqi civilians have died due to violence since the war began. And they tell us we're there to help the Iraqi people. What? They needed help with population control? Gimme a break? We're over there to help American corporations and to scare the Bejesus out of Iran and Saudi Arabia.

Well, I THOUGHT She Was My Wife

An American on a flight to the Phillipines was detained and denied entry into the country after a woman complained he was sexually harrassing her. She just happened to be the Governor of Mindoro, an island in the country. He later said he had become confused and thought the woman was his wife. What the hell was he trying to do, have sex in the lavatory?

Food Fight

Taiwanese members of Parliament get down with a food fight. If only our Congress could get Tom DeLay involved in one!

Now THAT Would Be Something to See!

A coalition of political parties in Chile have asked the Chilean Court of Appeals in Santiago to issue arrest warrants for George W Bush, Dick Cheney, and Donald Rumsfeld. They want them tried for crimes against humanity for Abu Ghraib torture. Bush is supposed to visit Chile for a summit in the near future. Bring 'em on!

The Netherlands Prepares to Invade the US

I was driving home yesterday on I-35 when I noticed a most unusual thing. There was a white GMC Savannah van traveling north with large black lettering on the sides that said, "Royal Netherlands Air Force." Toward the rear of the van was more lettering that said, "Apache Training Detachment." Inside the van were 5 people. Two men in the front and two women in the second seat, with what looked to be a child in between the two women. None of them had on any kind of uniform, except the man in the passenger's seat had on an orange shirt. Maybe that was some kind of uniform (orange is sort of the Dutch national color), but I didn't see any epaulets or medals. So, what's going on? Is this some kind of advance team sent over here to scope things out? Is the Netherlands planning some kind of post-election invasion while were occupied trying to count the votes? I'm worried.

I'll Kill Myself If You Convict Me

Michael Jackson's family is trotting out a story that "The King of Pop" will kill himself if he's convicted of child molestation. Is that what they call preparing the Jury pool? Give me a break!

Pornostar in Campo

Pornostar in Campo, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

Here in the U.S. we always have unattractive male streakers at sports events. Now, those Europeans...

Not Exactly 12 Angry Men

It was more like 3 confused men and 3 confused women. I was on a jury in the County Court at Law #2 in Williamson County, Texas. Since it was a county court, it had 6 instead of 12 members. This is like my tenth time to be called for jury duty, and the 3rd time Ive actually been selected. What have I done to deserve this? Don't answer that!!!

This time I was on a family violence case. It was a 21 year old guy and an 18 year old girl who were common law married. Get this, they had 3 kids when it happened in August of '03. They now have 4 kids, and she's going to turn 20 on Halloween Day. We acquitted him, because there was a "reasonable doubt." The girl said one thing on the day and another thing on the stand. They did not put her written statement into evidence from the day it happened. The only thing we had was her testimony today and the cop's. Anyway, she took the stand and took the 5th. Yes, she took the 5th amendment! She was afraid that she would be prosecuted for perjury or lying to a police officer. She had a court-appointed attorney who advised her to take the 5th. So, the prosecutor had to find her to get her served a subpoena, then she gets to the stand and takes the 5th. They rush us out of the courtroom while they all argue about it. So, when we return she's still on the stand, and is now willing to testify, because she has been given immunity from prosecution for perjury. Which I think she proceeded to commit, but was immune from prosecution. Anyway, there was story A and story B. When it happened she refused any treatment or even examination by EMS, so there was no medical type evidence of her injuries. There were some photos of scratches on her arms and one on her neck, but she says she doesn't remember how that happened. She says she punched the guy in the nose causing him a bloody nose (I believe this part), and that the blood on the floor and the walls is from that. It actually seems more plausible than blood from her scratches. Anyway, it was VERY confusing, and so we had reasonable doubt. After it was over and we had acquitted him, we find out that he is already in prison for bank robbery. He was the guy that was holding up banks in Cedar Park. He had held up several and gotten away with it for a while. They had to get him out of prison to come stand trial on this charge. He has other charges pending on Family Violence. The judge came to us afterward and said that if he had heard the case he would have done the same thing. He just felt there was reasonable doubt.

It's been quite a couple of days! That makes the 3rd time I've been on a jury, and the first time that I was jury foreman. What an honor.

Anxiety, Fear, and Depression

A new study in China reveals that 22% of children there suffer from behavioral and emotional problems. They feel it is due to the traditionalist kind of education, and the "only child" policy in China. No wonder I'm so fucked up! I'm an only child at 53.

Jury Duty

Yes, again. For a few years there while I wasn't registered to vote, I quit having to go to jury duty. I was getting called every year, and sometimes more than once a year. I have lost count of how many times I've been called. Anyway, I got called again. Today was the day. I have been assigned to a jury panel to be convened on Thursday in a County Court at Law. Those courts are kinda like Triple-A baseball. It's still the minor leagues, but it's just short of the majors. Last time, I got called to a Justice of the Peace Court which isn't even a court of record, for God's sake! Talk about minor league!

A court of record means that when you appeal there is a record of all the evidence presented, and it's put under review. But, when a case is appealed from a court that is not a court of record, everything starts over, as if the first trial never happened. So, I was on a jury in a JP court and we found the guy guilty. But, he appealed, and all we did was irrelevant. At least on Thursday, our efforts won't just be for naught.

Hey, He Wanted to Die!

A medical team in Colorado has been charged with homicide for removing the organs of a transplant "donor" before he was actually dead. He had tried to commit suicide by shooting himself in the head, but the medical examiner says he wasn't dead yet. Well, I guess he is now!

New Name for Dumpster Diving

Here it is: Freegan! Are they serious? Hmmm...I'm gonna have to think about this.

There's No Fool Like an Old Fool

Billy Joel got married to a 23 year old. She's just 32 years younger.

Florida: Still the Banana Republic

According to Jimmy Carter, election observer extraordinaire, Florida still doesn't have what it takes to ensure a clean election.

It's Raining Crucifixes!

A 72 year old Italian woman was killed in San Onofrio while walking down the street. A crucifix fell from above and killed her. It had been loosened by restorations to the monument it stood on.

But, But, What If the Prostitute Is a Man?

The US Military has adopted a new policy making it an offense to use the services of a prostitute. The change is an effort to stop trafficking in women forced into prostitution near US military bases overseas. I suppose it would be okay to traffic in men.

Let This Be a Sign Unto You

Hurricanes Charley, Frances and Ivan are God's message to Florida and the South. He did not vote for Bush. Would you call it karma?

Cell Phone on a Motorcycle?

Yes, at least in Italy. Now you can get a helmet with a wireless cell phone built in.