¡Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ol!


Finally the US gets a point in the World Cup! And against the Italians at that! Wow, with the Czechs losing to Ghana it's an open group. We're still not out of it, but it's going to be hard to win Group E for whoever does it. Three red cards in the game. Two of them on Americans.

Even Man's Best Friend Has Limits


Police in Modena, Utah spotted Nicholas T. Galanis on the street and wanted to talk to him about a suspected theft. Nick saw the cops too, and jumped into his car with his Pit Bull. Thus began a high-speed chase. The officers in pursuit noticed that the dog in the passenger seat was being thrown around the car hitting his head on the window. The wild ride eventually became too much for the dog. He bit Nick on the face and nose which left poor Nick missing a part of his nose. Two lessons here: 1) Don't run from the cops 2)If you do, don't bring your dog along.

Garden Gnome Liberation Front


There is an organization in Switzerland called the Garden Gnome Liberation Front that is going around "liberating" garden gnome statues. The estimated population of garden gnomes in Europe is 30 million. They've got a long way to go.

Your Freedom Fighter Is Our Terrorist


Or something like that. I had heard some "fringe nuts" say that Menachem Begin was a terrorist before he got respectable and became Prime Minister of Israel. He was a member of Irgun, I believe. The Irgun was the Hamas of its day, only it was Jewish. Anyway, now the story comes out that Begin sold his gold watch to finance an assassination attempt against Konrad Adenaur, the Chancellor of West Germany at the time.

Begin later shared the Nobel Peace Prize with Anwar Sadat. Now ain't that sumpthin'? Perhaps one day Osama will be one of our strongest allies. Hey, it's happened before!

Carrying Coal to Newcastle? How about STDs?


Some public employees in Britain working for the Department of the Environment in Newcastle are undergoing an investigation because they've been accused of having sex in the rest room by an anonymous co-worker. Now, I work for the government too (in Texas anyway), and I've seen what "public servants" look like. Believe me, they're not particularly attractive. But, I guess that's not the point, is it?

The "whistleblower" decries his co-workers' "depravity." Maybe the accused should accuse the whistleblower of "jealousy."

The President Is Worried


Yes, he says he's seriously concerned about the triple suicide at Guantanamo. He is? When did he become worried...just yesterday? So far, he hasn't been worried at all about it. I mean he has ignored the EU, UN, OAS, Amnisty International, Human Rights Watch, and everyone else that has said to close that prison down. There have been revelations galore about mistreatment of prisoners, desecration of the Koran (which is another thing entirely), torture dressed up as a "stress interview", and only God knows what else. None of those requests from international organizations or revelations about conditions have cause His Royal Highness any consternation at all.

I'm doubtful that his newfound concern is anything other than some kind of self-serving crap that he wants us to swallow. Doubtful might be to mild a word. Let me do that over. I'm convinced that his newfound concern is anything other than some kind of self-serving crap that he wants us to swallow.

Spreekt Je Nederlands?

The city of Bristol in the UK needed some good police dogs, and decided to purchase some that had already been trained. The problem is that they bought them from the Netherlands, and the dog's handlers had to learn Dutch to give the dogs commands. So, what if you're the bad guy and the cops are yelling in Dutch telling the dog to get you? You'd never know til it was too late.

New Invention: Adaptive Technology


Announcing the Nose Booster! Yes, all you do is place it on the bridge of your nose under your bifocals, and voilà you can comfortably read that computer screen through the lower part of your bifocals. And, it comes in a variety of colors too, so matching your frames is simple! Place your order in the comments section, and kiss your sore neck good-bye. Only $9.99! Order within the next 10 minutes and we'll throw in a second Nose Booster for only $4.99. Yes, you read that right, a second Nose Booster for half price! No more squinting and eye strain...order now!

Morey Stovall: "I don't see very well, so I wear glasses all the time. I'm over 50, so I wear bifocals. My job requires me read a lot on my computer. When I'm sitting in front it, I can't read the screen because the upper part of the bifocals make everything too blurry. The lower part is perfect, but I have to tilt my head back so much that it makes my neck hurt. Not anymore! Not now that I found the Nose Booster!"

Just Thank the Hollanders

Thanks to a 24 hour prayer marathon in the Netherlands, we didn't have to face the Day of the Beast. The prayer marathon included 50 towns and lasted from 6:00 pm Monday until 6:00 pm Tuesday on 06/06/06. I suppose it's one of those biblical days where the day ends at sunset. Anyway, thanks to the Dutch we avoided armageddon.

The Man with a Pussy


His name is Buck Angel, but his name at birth was Susan. He always felt like a male in a female body. So, when he got old enough, he had his breasts reduced (I'll say), began taking male hormones. and lifting weights. He never got the "final" surgery though. It cost too much and it would give him a penis that doesn't "work like it's supposed to." However, he is attracted to men, so the pussy issue is no problem.

It's All Viagra's Fault


There are reports that an epidemic of STDs has broken out in The Villages in Florida. That's a senior citizens' town like Sun City, I suppose. The gynecologist who sees many of the residents says it's all because if Viagra. Louis Franklin, a resident in The Villages, says, "I've had more dates since I moved here that I've had my whole life." Colleen McQuade, the gynecologist, says she has had more cases of STDs in The Villages than she used to have when she practiced in Miami.

Believe It


A medium in Brasil wrote two letters from the the victim of a murder whose spirit told the medium that the accused on trial had not done it. The two letters were entered into evidence and proved to be the determining factor in the judge's decision, according to the defense attorney. A clerk at the court confirmed that the letters were accepted as evidence, because the prosecution did not object.

Watch the Commercial or Pay

Royal Philips Electronics has applied for a patent in the U.S. that would not allow the TV's remote control to change channels during a commercial, unless you have already paid a fee. The same would apply to digitally recorded programs: you wouldn't be able to skip the commercials without paying a fee. What's this world coming to? We already pay for cable just to be able to watch the programs at all, now we have to pay not to watch? This is an outrage! Well, okay, not that much of an outrage, not like NSA spying. But, it pisses me off nonetheless.

The Fattest City in the Fattest State in the Fattest Country in the Whole Fat World


That would be Houston, Texas. We drove over there Saturday to see my sis-in-law and her husband. So, what did we do? We ate! Let's see, Saturday evening was Alladin's. I got the vegetable sampler which had like 12 or 15 things on it. It was fantastic. Afterwards we went to see Kinky Boots. I would say it's okay, but not what I would call great. It's a comedy about a shoe maker and a drag queen. There are some funny parts, but it was way too predictable. I didn't pick the movie by the way.

The next morning it was breakfast at Spanish Flower (the name reminds me of Spanish Fly). It was very good Mexican food. Then, later we went to church with the in-laws. They're Catholic and we've been to the same service with them several times. The services don't get any better - it still looks like a well rehearsed but poorly performed magic show. Like everyone knows their part so well that it's become routine. Robes, candles, wine, bread, holding stuff up in the air like a magician showing you there's nothing up his sleeves, assistants, procession, and so forth. The priest's homily was good though, it was about Archbishop Oscar Romero who was killed by death squads in El Salvador.

After church of course it was time to eat again. This time we went to Nidda's Thai Restaurant. I thought it was very good and so did the Goddess.

We left Houston about 9:30 in the morning so no more eating. Oh well.

The Egg Was First


John Brookfield, a British researcher, has determined that the egg came before the chicken. He says it's actually quite simple - genetic material cannot evolve in a living organism, it has to evolve in the egg. So, the egg that produced the chicken was laid by a different specie.

Short Pants Will Get You Killed

In Iraq at least. The coach and two members of the Iraqi Davis Cup team were executed by a militant Sunni group. Eye witnesses said that the execution took place because the three wore short pants. A few days ago the militant group warned the team that wearing shorts would not be tolerated. What the fuck? Shorts? Would they prefer them to play tennis in those long white dresses?

Borat's Back


And I don't mean his butt. He has returned. Borat is in Cannes to promote his new movie called Borat The Movie. I like.

Because They All Have Mustaches


Tiziano Ferro, an Italian popular singer, said on TV that it's impossible to find beautiful Mexican women, because they all have mustaches. He then backs off a little to say that Salma Hayek is the only exception.

35=10


According to a novel by Chetan Bhagat called One Night @ the Call Center trainers at call centers in India instruct their students from day one that 35=10. It means that the brain of a 35 year old American is equal to the brain of a 10 year old Indian. They say it helps their students better understand the American customers.

Sinus Treatment


Yeah, I'm still fighting with my sinuses. The picture is of my desk at this moment. I'm taking herbs, drinking lots of water, and well...hoping for my sense of smell to come back. I went back to the Academy of Oriental Medicine of Austin last Thursday to be "re-evaluated". I got some needles in the same places as before, a month's worth of herbs, and time to come back. The Iatrogenic Rash has improved, but not left the auditorium. So, now it's been like 3 1/2 months that I've been fuckin' with this and it ain't gone! I will say that it's improved a lot though.