So THAT's Where She Got All Those Recipes!

Julia Child - spy. Yep, she worked for the OSS (forerunner of the CIA)) during World War II. She must have spied on the French to know all about French recipes. So, what did she really put in that chicken Cordon Bleu?

The Price of Taking a Vacation

Some poor guy at my office has a surprise waiting for him come Monday morning.

¡Felicidades a Todos los Secuestrados Anteriores!

No sé por qué, pero desde su secuestro por las FARC hace más o menos seis años, he tenido una fascinación con el destino de Ingrid Betancourt. Es algo que he seguido muy de cerca y les quiero ofrecer a ella y todos los secuestrados anteriores mis felicidades. Imagínate Sra. Betancourt sigue deseando servir al pueblo de Colombia como Presidenta. Increible. ¡Qué rijan la paz y la libertad en Colombia!

They Were Just Taking a Summer Vacation

For the second time a polar bear has arrived in Iceland. No, they didn't clear customs. Folks over there suspect that each of them floated on a piece of ice from Greenland. Then, they swam the last little bit. Authorities got in a lot of hot water (pun intended) with environmentalists and animal rights groups when they killed the first one. So now, they will send the second one to Greenland by airplane. Hey, they just wanted a little break from the normal routine. No reason to kill 'em.

Storms

Last night Round Rock, Georgetown, Pflugerville, Cedar Park, and Austin dealt with three waves of severe storms. The first one hit Cedar Park, Round Rock, and Pflugerville with high winds, hail, and tornados. One of the tornados walked a tightwire down the Travis - Williamson County line. It passed about 2 miles south of our house. Of course, we didn't know until it actually passed that it had missed us. We went downstairs and were just about to step into the bathroom and pantry (both in the center of the house), when I heard on the radio that it had headed a little south of us. We had high winds and hail, but no damage to our trees, house, or car. Lucky.

Later on, a second wave of storms hit Georgetown (just north of us). Then, shortly after that the third wave marched right through the center of Austin (south of us). In fact, it broke out some windows in the Capitol building. I saw quite a few tree limbs, and other debris on my way into the office. Exciting night.

88 Year-Old Shoplifter

My elderly father has had a cough for the past several days. He had tried some cough drops, but they didn't help much. He asked me what I thought he should do, and I told him to get come cough syrup. He and my mother went up to CVS and asked the pharmacist which cough syrup would work the best. She showed him a product and he went back out to the car and waited for my mother.

After they got home and he had taken some, he realized that he had never paid for the cough syrup. He told my mother that the lady had given it to him. My mother assured him that the lady had merely handed it to him, not given it to him. He said he knew they had him on video just walking out of the store, and he didn't want the police coming to the door in the middle of the night. So, we just drove back up there and paid for the cough syrup.

We live in Williamson County where no one goes easy on criminals. I'm surprised they didn't chase him out of the store, tackle him, and wrestle the stuff out of his hands! At least we've kept him out of Guantanamo for now.

Is That a Gun in Your Nose?

No, it's a neti pot. I have some pretty bad sinus problems that have flared up again with the oak pollen season. A couple of years ago, I had such a bad sinus infection that I lost my sense of smell for about 12 months. Well, this time around I bought a neti pot at the local CVS. Believe it or not, it works very well. When you buy the pot, it comes with 20 packets of powder that you mix with water, pour in one nostril, and let it drain from the other. That's the idea, but sometimes it doesn't flow so well because of all the uh, well, snot. Sodium bicarbonate (baking soda) and sodium chloride (table salt) make for the two ingredients. I hear that you can make your own powder, but the pot came with 20 packets so I haven't tried making my own.

You might imagine that pouring water into your nose and tilting your head so that one nostril is below the other and allows the water to run out the other nostril makes a mess. You'd be right! But, it sure does help, and I recommend it even if it makes a mess to administer.

Fitna

Geert Wilders, a right-wing member of the Dutch Parliament, has released his controversial film. I just finished watching it. It contains a lot of fiery rhetoric and gruesome photos. Interesting to see the comments that others have made about it. Have a look at it and see what you think. It lasts about 15 minutes.

Academy Awards

I heard that last nite's Academy Awards TV viewership fell below the previously least watched Oscars. Well, I haven't contributed to the viewing audience in quite some time. I don't like to watch awards shows because they get so self-congratulatory. And the "jokes"? Well, they suck along with their delivery. I find it fulfilling enough just to read about who won on the internet. Sorry, Oscar, but you have lost your panache.

A Gift for My Friends

You know who you are ;-) I have recently become popular in places where you can't see this stuff legally. As salaam aleykum.

Time for a Tune-Up

Vladimir Lenin will take a two month vacation soon and leave his place of business for some rest and relaxation. He will leave his mausoleum on February 18 and stay gone until April 15. Officials in Russia say that he needs "some work" (as in "having work done") to restore his looks. The methods used in his preservation remain one of the world's best kept secrets. If they would let the secret out, they could make some major money from some of Hollywood's brightest and dullest lights. I can think of a few that could really use it - think plastic surgery gone wrong.

By the way, what do you think he has in his right hand?

Which Is Worse?

Heating up fish in the office microwave, or burning popcorn in it?

WTF Do I Know?

Boy, my football ESP has taken a nosedive. Not only did the Giants win, but the game came down to the last few seconds.

1200 Calories in Snacks per Viewer

According to a study by the Council for the Control of Calories and the Snack Food Association of the US the average Super Bowl viewer will consume 1200 calories of snacks and hors d'ouvers during the game. That doesn't count the "regular food" that we'll eat, like pizza, hot dogs, hamburgers and God knows what else. No, the 1200 calories comes just from the chips and dips, pretzels, nuts a so forth. Hey, I'll do my part! I wonder if people eat more or less when the game gets close.

So many Super Bowls have turned into duds after the first quarter that I imagine lots of folks just head for the bar to get a few more beers. By the second half I've seen all the good new commercials, so unless we still have a close game, I go do something else. Funny that the biggest sports day of the year has become a debut night for the latest Madison Avenue productions. Yep, Capitalist Realism makes for more compelling TV viewing than the game itself. ¡Love Live the USA!

Rest in Peace: Alan Henning

Some things have such profound impact when they happen that you remember exactly where you were when you found out. You know what I mean: JFK Assassination, George Wallace Assassination Attempt, Ronald Reagan Assassination Attempt, John Lennon murder, 9/11, etc.

Well, I remember exactly where I was when I found out that Alan Henning had died. Yes, it is sad news indeed. I heard early this morning from Suzanne Kimmel that Alan had died. Needless to say, I felt like someone had punched me in the belly. It knocked the breath right out of me, and I thought I might faint

What a great guy! In his youth he left a swath of broken hearts all across North Texas, and I know tonight that those hearts have broken again.

Farewell dear Alan. Gone but never forgotten!

Example of Catholicism?

The Bishop of Tenerife (Canary Islands), Bernardo Alvarez, says that some minor victims of sexual abuse actually desire it , and provoke it. He actually said, "There could be minors who consent to it (abuse), and, in fact, there are. There are adolescents 13 years of age who are minors and are perfectly agreeable to it, and, even more than that, want it. If you're not careful they'll even provoke it."

What?! This comes from a bishop of the Catholic church after all the abuse scandals. Do these old white-haired white-skinned men ever learn? Why would anyone, anywhere ever listen to these perverts?

No Juegue con Srta. Texas

No Shit. Really?

A study conducted at the Federal University of Rio de Janeiro proves that an excess of coffee causes panic attacks in those people with panic disorders. Duh!

Isn't That Touching?

I guess it can happen to anyone - vegetarianism that is. Armin Meiwes has become a vegetarian. You remember him...he's the guy that got convicted of murder and cannibalism in Germany. He advertised on the web for someone to kill and eat, and he got a response! Willing victim. Sorta like beef is to the rest of us, but probably not willing.

He has reformed so much that he has become the Green Party representative in the prison. They say he speaks and writes well, so he has gained a leadership position in the party. Political parties in prison? What? Only in Germany!

Photo: AFP

Mannequin Love

It's a fact and the South Dakota Supreme Court says it's okay. Well, as long as you keep it behind closed doors. Get a load of this guy's name - Michael James Plenty Horse. Shit, no wonder he's fuckin' a mannequin! Who else would hold still for him?