T-Ball Hero

If you've never had the pleasure to watch a T-Ball game, you should do it soon. Little kids (2, 3 or 4 years old) play T-Ball, a version of baseball, with great glee. They don't seem to care what happens, the just play. Since they haven't developed a very long attention span yet, they will become engrossed in kicking up dirt on the infield and let a ground ball just roll on by. Or, even better, they'll just watch it as it rolls right past their legs.

Sometimes the batter will take off after his own hit or will run to second base instead of first. Good way to hit a double! In football you'll see gang tackling, well, in T-Ball you'll see gang fielding. A batter may hit the ball right up the middle and the entire team will take off after it. Then, when the finally corral the ball, they don't have anyone at first base to throw it to. They don't seem to care though, the just look like they enjoy it completely. I know I sure did!

Treinta Años sin Ducha

Sí es la verdad, una mujer que reside en Singapur no ha tomado un baño o ducha desde hace 30 años. Tampoco ha lavado los dientes. Se dice que vive en un apartamento con su hermano, pero, ¿cómo es que el hermano puede aguantar tal cosa? Y no es todo. Ella lleva su ropa por un mes entero y luego la tira en la basura. No la lava, sino compra ropa nueva. ¡Qué extraño!

What a Recovery!

I've often felt like throwing up while watching TV, but it's rare to see a performer do it. I don't know what she says after hurling, but she sounds pretty smooth.

I Am Not Gay

That make three of us. I figured I should speak up on the subject since so many others have too. Two Senators felt the need to divulge that kind personal information. So, why shouldn't I? Larry Craig, Hillary Clinton, and me - heterosexuals.

Now That's What I'm Talkin' 'Bout!

You too can stop alien abductions. Just get a thought screen helmet! You can't buy one, you have to actually make it yourself. But, don't worry, you can get the materials easily. And it does not have even one bit of aluminum foil! No shit, it really works.

That Ain't No Meteorite, That's a Spy Satellite!

I read a few days ago about a meteor that crashed in Peru, but that it also made the local people very sick. Then, a day or two later I read that "scientists" say the meteorite wasn't the cause of the illness. Now, Pravda.ru has sort of confirmed it all. They say it was an American spy satellite with radioactive materials on it. Somehow, it was spying on Iran, but had to be brought down when something went wrong. The loss of the satellite has really put a crimp in Bush's plan to attack Iran. Who ya gonna believe?

How I Broke My Leg

Hey, it wasn't easy! I had to go to some great lengths to do it. Try jumping out of a plane for one. Yeah, it costs a lot to do that.

Read the Trashy Tabloids for Education

Yes, it's true. Stay up with all the gossip on Paris Hilton, Nicole Richey, and Britney Spears and learn a foreign language.

Boca Scopet in Curação

Red Bud Tree & Bee

Has It Really Come to This?

You can buy "intimacies" of many different celebrities on the Internet. Just go to the right web address and you can buy skin cells, saliva, urine, and uh...fecal matter of the stars. No, not kidding. Jay Z's shit goes for $33.00, and so does Ludacris'. You can buy Sammy Hagar's urine for $15.00. Sorry, but Bruce Dickinson's (Iron Maiden) shit is out of stock. Prices rise and fall depending on the celebrity's current popularity.

Seems Like a Reasonable Request to Me

A 26 year old man at a university in the U.S. got caught looking at porn and masturbating in front of a computer screen on campus. Security personnel started to take him into custody when he said, "I'm really close, can I just cum first?" Can you believe it, they didn't let him?! How rude! The judge sentenced the "offender" to six months probation. What, he can't jack off for six months? I'm glad I'm not a probation officer.

He's Not Gay, He Just Has Sex with Men

Larry Craig, Republican Senator from Idaho, does not support gay rights. He does not approve of gay marriage. Hey, he doesn't want to marry them, he just wants them to suck his dick. How come the most anti-gay Republicans keep turning up in gay scandals? Ted Haggard, Mark Foley, and now Larry Craig.

A few years ago I conducted job search and life skills classes for Food Stamp recipients. One of the speakers I asked to talk to the group worked for an AIDS education agency. He came to our place and spoke about AIDS prevention. He said something that I'd never thought of before. He kept using the phrase "men who have sex with men." Someone finally asked him, "don't you mean gay?" No, he didn't. He explained that some men frequently have sex with other men, but don't consider themselves gay. Okay, I had never heard that before. But, I have since seen the phrase (MSM) used in most all of the AIDS information. So, Senator Craig may have told the truth at his press conference - he just has sex with men, but he's not gay. Nah, he didn't mean it that way. He just lies a lot.

On the Job Injury?

Three men and five women in Denmark have come down with gonorrhea that they contracted on the job. They work in the adult movie industry. Yes, STDs can be an on-the-job injury, if you work in the right job. The Danish government requires that these actors get tested for gonorrhea every 30 days. It appears that monthly isn't frequent enough. If you want to work in the adult industry in England, you have to have a verification of testing completed within the last five days. Wow! I guess it's sorta like a baseball pitcher, you have to have several days of rest after each performance.

All that Glitters Is Not Gold

According to Adam Levine, Maria Sharapova isn't all she's cracekd up to be. He's the singer for Maroon 5 who gave an intervew to a Russian magazine named Exile. Why would he say that? Well, he had a short relationship with her a while back. What did he say exactly? He said that going to bed with Ms. Sharapova is "a disaster." He said he was so disillusioned that it was worse than when he found out there was no Santa Claus. Wow! Really? He even says the didn't enjoy it one bit, and had to go on antidepressants for a month.

He said that she just lays there and refuses move in complete silence. All that in spite of the fact that he had long fantasized about her. He says that if you try to say anything to her, she gets mad, clams up, and doesn't move.

But, think about it...she does all that shrieking and moving on court, she just doesn't have anything left for the bedroom. I just wonder how Ms. Sharapova might rate Mr. Levine. Maybe he needs more than antidepressants.

Auto-Castration

I don't mean getting rid of your car either. No, I mean a man castrating himself, at least sort of. Just what could bring a man to do such a thing? Well, 62 year old Russel Angus Daniel had this pain in his nuts, you see. And his regular doctor wouldn't castrate him, so he found two "surgeons" on the Internet to do it for him. They castrated him on his kitchen table, and left him to bleed to death. He had to go to the emergency room for treatment. He won't say who did it, because he doesn't want to cause them any trouble.

Note: I searched Google Images for some castration photos, but decided it best not to post one. Oh, believe me, it wasn't because I couldn't find any. They just don't...look...very...nice.

A Good Omen?

During the Conference for International Dialogue in Malaysia between Asian and African countries, a strange rainbow appeared. It had a circular shape. Could God have been smiling on the effort? I hope so. If not, she sure missed a good chance. One of the delegates took this image.

Hair Club for Cows?

Not exactly. A barber in Colombia, Ancizar Duque, has discovered a successful treatment for baldness. He has a cow named Simona who handles it for you. What's it take? Mr. Duque has Simona lick your scalp which makes your hair grow back. The "treatment" costs $55.00 for twelve sessions including the syrup he puts on your head to get Simona to lick it. Uh...huh! Okaaaay, but is it worth it? Mr. Duque says he has 200 customers who have had the cure. He even has before and after photos.

Oscar el Gato Sabe

Sí es cierto. Oscar, un gato rescatado de una vida callejera, puede predecir el momento de la muerte. El gato en cuestión reside en el tercer piso un centro para ancianos in Rhode Island. Dentro del año y medio pasado ha predicho la muerte de 25 pacientes. Oscar visita a un paciente y cuando hace unos giros en la cama de la persona, las enfermeras saben que la persona está al punto de morir. Entonces, llaman a la familia, amigos, etc. ¿Cómo es así?

How Will YOU Be Remembered?

Natasha Bedingfield revealed (pun intended) after the Concert for Diana in London earlier this month that she didn't have any panties on under her skirt. Later, at the Live Earth concert she said that she wants "to be known for my face and my music - not for my vagina." I don't think she gets to choose. Photo by AP, but where's the proof?