Gotta Love those Danes

Especially those Danish priests. Priests in Sønderjylland want to have more Sundays off. They'd like to have more time to spend with their families. But Bishop Christensen says, "When you become a priest, you know that you will work on Sundays." Duh!

Men Have Headaches Too

From the same edition of Clarín, a growing number of men, yes men, are faking their orgasms. Estimations are about 3% of men fake or have faked orgasms. Think maybe it´s mostly those Spaniards and Austrians?

Austrians and Spaniards?

According to Edward Laumann of the University of California, Austrians and Spaniards report the most sexual satisfaction among 40+ers based on a survey of 27,500 men and women. In all countries except Algeria and Malaysia men reported they were more satisfied than women with sex. Algeria and Malaysia? From the article

El bajo nivel de satisfacción sexual entre las mujeres también se explica por la falta de juegos previos, algo particularmente problemático en Asia y en Medio Oriente, dijo Laumann. "En promedio, (a los hombres) les lleva cuatro minutos eyacular. Las mujeres necesitan 11 minutos. Es por eso que los juegos previos son tan importantes". Y agregó que la mayoría de los hombres afirmaba tener siempre un orgasmo, pero entre las mujeres, la cifra sólo alcanza el 26 por ciento, "aunque 45% de los hombres cree que su pareja siempre tiene un orgasmo".

The low level of satisfaction among women can also be explained by the lack of foreplay, something particularly problematic in Asia and the Middle East, said Laumann. "On average, (among men) it takes four minutes to ejaculate. Women need 11 minutes. That's why foreplay is so important." He added that the majority of men say they always have an orgasm, but among women, that number only reaches 26%, "even though 45% of men believe their partner always have an orgasm."

Spain? I still can't get over it.

Will He Have a Hotplate?


Tom Cruise says he'll eat Katie's placenta after she delivers their baby. Raw? Cooked? The thought is making me nauseous, and I have a strong stomach.

Texas Warming


They say that the whole globe is warming. I have no reason to doubt that, because it sure is warming here in Texas. Yes, today is April 17 and the temperature right now at 7:25 pm is 97F (36C) and the high was 99F (37C). Now, that's just wrong! We're not even one month into spring, and it's already unbearable.

Look Familiar?



Sure looks like a Klan rally to me. But, it's not. It's a Christian ritual carried out in Brazil.

White House Affirms Confidence in Rumsfeld


Just like so many other time, when the President expresses confidence in something, you know the opposite is true. Remember "We're gonna smoke 'em out", "Saddam Hussein has WMD", "There's is no insurgency", "We are making progress in Iraq", "We do not torture", "I don't know Mr. Abramoff", and so on.

Now, they're saying that Rumsfeld has the President's full confidence. He'll be gone by May 1.

Someone Else Dead in Front of TV?

Hard to explain, but a Dutch newspaper website (my previous post) said a 40-year old man was found dead in front of his TV after having been there for three years. The Danish newspaper website BT.dk reports the exact same facts except they say the deceased was a woman. No, I don't think it was two different people. BT.dk also says that neighbors were concerned about her, and went into her apartment to see why she was so behind in her rent. They're just now checking? I think something's rotten in Denmark.

The Neighbors Thought He Was Just Reclusive

British police discovered a 40-year old man dead in his apartment in London back in January. They delayed the announcement until today, because of problems verifying his identity. Okay, so what's unusual about that? Well, they calculate that he died in February of 2003 while sitting in front of his TV set. I thought British TV was actually better than ours. Just imagine how many years earlier he might have died, if he had watched American TV!

Oh, and one other thing...the TV was still on.

Watch Out!


You can't yell "Duck!" around him 'cause he'll pull out a shotgun.

Second Hand Silva

Silva Shahakian, an Iraqi Christian, has accepted the honor of being Miss Iraq in spite of death threats against her predecessor. The Miss Iraq beauty contest held April 9 originally named a different contestant as the winner. Tamar Goregian the first Miss Iraq returned the "crown" four days after being threatened by Islamic militias. The new winner's whereabouts are unknown.


It seems like the militias would appreciate pretty women. I mean just look at some of those pictures of Iraqi women! Not what I'd call centerfold material. I'm just sayin'.

The Bush Doctrine


A song by Randy Newman seems to sum up our President's take on foreign policy. Especially with respect to Iran.


No one likes us
I don't know why.
We may not be perfect
But heaven knows we try.
But all around even our old friends put us down.
Let's drop the big one and see what happens.

We give them money
But are they grateful?
No they're spiteful
And they're hateful.
They don't respect us so let's surprise them;
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them.

Now Asia's crowded
And Europe's too old.
Africa's far too hot,
And Canada's too cold.
And South America stole our name.
Let's drop the big one; there'll be no one left to blame us.

Bridge:
We'll save Australia;
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo.
We'll build an all-American amusement park there;
They've got surfing, too.

Well, boom goes London,
And boom Paris.
More room for you
And more room for me.
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town.
Oh, how peaceful it'll be;
We'll set everybody free;
You'll have Japanese kimonos, baby,
There'll be Italian shoes for me.
They all hate us anyhow,
So let's drop the big one now.
Let's drop the big one now.

All in the Name of World Peace

Porn star Ciccolina has offered herself (carnally) to Osama Bin Laden in the furtherance of world peace. I'm not sure how the two of them could meet up without giving away his location. She sure looks better than those women he's hangin' around with now.

Those German Criminals Sure Are Crafty


Authorities in German prisons confront an unexpected problem. You see, the prisoners are text messaging each other with cell (get it? Jail cell phones.) phones. When it comes to prisoners, I doubt they're asking each other about the weather. Regulations prohibit cell phones in prisons, but they're regularly smuggled into the facilities inside body cavities. Okay, I'm trying to picture that. What if you forgot and left it on, then received a call?

A Brother Blogger

Thanks to one of the Old Europeans (who really are good for more than just being our early warning system for bird flu), I'd like to draw your attention to a brother blogger's site: Al Gathafi. This guy is amazing! He can turn adjectives into verbs, and make letters come out of his nose! Don't believe me?

Kick 'Em When They're Down


Officials of United Russia, the party in power, announced that Lenin's lease on his tomb is up, and his body will have to vacate the premises. I suppose it's kind of an eviction. They say he has two options (well, not him exactly). He can move to a cemetery in either Moscow or St. Petersburg. Or the Communist Party can have his body, and can build a new mausoleum at their own expense. Just proves that old question, "But, what have you done for me lately?"

Correction!

In a post last night I said that Minister Verdonk was minister of education in the Netherlands. That's wrong. She is minister of Alien Affairs and Integration. But, I'm stickin' with my notion that she's using old photos of herself. Well, at least De Telegraaf is.

His Own Daddy's Law

George H. W. Bush (Daddy) worked especially hard to get a law passed that would make it a crime to disclose the identity of any undercover CIA agents. George W. Bush (Son) specifically authorized Lewis Libby to disclose the identity of an undercover CIA agent to the press. I think there's some kind of Oedipal thing going on here.

Let me just say that after the Tom DeLay resignation, I didn't think it could get any better. I was wrong! As our President said himself, "Bring 'em on!"

28 Times in a Week

Hmmm...that comes out to 4 times a day. Whoa! Yes, once again, a female school teacher named Rachel Holt has had sex with one of her young students. This time it's another 13 year old. But, what impresses me is this sentence from the article: "Nach Angaben der Behörden hatte die Lehrerin in der letzten Märzwoche 28 Mal sexuellen Verkehr mit dem Jungen gehabt." It's been a long time since I took German, but I believe this is saying that authorities claim the teacher had sexual relations with the young boy 28 times in the last week of March. Talk about March Madness!

Bee Stings for Nasal Relief


A doctor in China treats sinusitis, which I'm suffering from right now, with bee stings. I haven't reached that point yet, but the longer this goes on the more reasonable it sounds.