Them Saudis Don't Fuck Around

They've already killed 3 suspects after the beheading of Paul Johnson. If they were that quick why couldn't they have gotten there a little quicker?

Esther

Funny how the lady has had two names from the Bible. I wonder how the original Esther would feel about this.

How Would You Like That for an Epitaph?

"He was a brave man," said Noor. "His last words were 'Allahu Akbar'."

Oh Those Brits

Big Brother on British TV got out of hand last nite. Evidently there was a plate throwing, bottle breaking, furniture hurling brawl in the house. In fact, security had to be called in to restore order. The police and Scotland Yard have opened an investigation. Now, that's reality TV!

Again Already?

Yes, I'm on vacation again. And I will be next month too. See, after some 20 years working for the same people, you accrue vacation time so fast that it's actually hard to use it all! Oh, poor me!

It's Not Just Hollywood

Bollywood is also causing an uproar, or rather the religious fundamentalists are. A new movie Girlfriend is causing quite a stir. Even riots!

I Hope They're Right

Researchers says that being bilingual keeps the brain flexible, and younger. It supposedly helps prevent age related slow down of thinking. I'm gonna need all the help I can get.

Hmmm...This Sounds Familiar

Oh what a circus!
Oh what a show!
Argentina has gone to town
Over the death of an actress called Eva Peron
We've all gone crazy
Mourning all day and mourning all night
Falling over ourselves to get all
Of the misery right
Oh what an exit! That's how to go!
When they're ringing your curtain down
Demand to be buried like Eva Peron

You Call That Mourning?

The Governor of Texas has declared Friday a Day of Mourning, except that State Agencies will stay open with a skeleton staff. No, we don't dig up bodies at the graveyard, we have just a minimum number of staff working that day. But, I tell ya, I just can't believe that they are going to disrespect that great man, Ronnie Raygun, and just give him a skeleton day of mourning! I mean they gave Nixon the full thing! C'mon is that really mourning? NO! We're saying to dear ol' Ronnie, "Well, we really wanted to honor you, but, ya see there's these other obligations we have. Yeah, Dick got a whole day of mourning. But, I'm sure you'll understand (like he could understand anything with Alzheimer's), Ron, that just like you we're conservatives. We want the business of business to flow uninterrupted. Just think of it like when you so courageously fired the air traffic controllers, it didn't stop everything completely, it just slowed it down a little. Well, this is kind of like that. We want to honor you, make no mistake, but like you show business types always say, 'The Show Must Go On!' So, hey, you"re getting a skeleton day of mourning, Bob Hope didn't get that much!"

Sort of Like Evita

There's a line from one of the songs in the musical Evita in which Che says, "falling all over ourselves to get the misery right." While were getting the misery right, let's not forget Iran/Contra, Beirut, Granada, Libya Attack, Arms for Hostages, Ketchup as a Vegetable...

Bush Goin' Bonkers?

Looks like he's goin' the way of Nixon. Gettin' a little shaky is he? Just ask his staff.

Bumpersticker

I was sitting in traffic the other day, and saw a bumpersticker with lots of writing on it. My lane of traffic was moving and the lane with the bumbersticker was stopped. As I creeped past, it saw that it said, "Bill Clinton is no longer the holder of the title of Worst President in American History." I didn't know he was the previous holder of that title, but I must say I agree that he's been beat!

I'm Pretty Far Down the Rankings in That Case

Who ranks as the highest?
One who does not harm anything.
One who never retaliates.
One who is always at peace regardless
of the other person's disposition.
- Buddha

It Arrived Right On Time

Every year for at least the last 20 years and probably longer than that the temperature in May starts out pleasant, but by Memorial Day it's unbearable. Yesterday, was Memorial Day, and I hear that it reached 100 degrees F. (38 C) officially in Austin. You can always count on Memorial Day itself being viciously hot. Today is just as hot! God help us!

What Two Countries Have the Largest Number of Spanish Speakers?

This was surprising, it's Mexico #1 with 95 million speakers, and the United States #2 with 46 million. We have even more Spanish speakers than Spain!

So THAT'S Why...

The CDC has announced that teens are screwing less and eating more. Hmmm...is that why newly-weds almost always start getting fat right after the wedding ceremony?

Maybe He Should Worry About His Priests First

The Pope is worried about American society's "soulless vision of life." How about the vision of his pedophile priests that they protected for so long? Wake up, old man, the world is steaming right on by.

What's with these One-Eyed Mullahs?

The British police arrested Abu Hamza today due to an American request. We're going to try to extradite him. Abu Hamza has only one good eye. Then there's that Mullah Omar of Taliban fame who is known as the One-Eyed Mulla. Then what about that cleric, Sheikh Abdul Omar Rahman, we have in prison in New York who was behind the first WTC bombing? That fucker's completely blind! He doesn't even have one eye. Is there some subtle metaphysical hint here that these guys are symbolically fucking blind? I would say open your eyes to them, but that wouldn't help.

Now They Tell Us!

Not only did we get sucker punched by the Iraqis, now it looks like we got bamboozled by the Iranians. Things are never what they seem!

18,000 Strong and Still Growing!

According to the International Institute of Strategic Studies, Al Qaeda has 18,000 members around the world, and their recruitment has grown due to the war in Iraq. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot! George, how are you still walking with so many bullets in your feet?