Kosher Porn

An Israeli porn DVD, "Assraelis", has caught the eye of a rabbi in New Jersey. The rabbi has threatened a lawsuit against the producer, Oren Cohen and Tight Fit, because the DVD cover has the logo used on food products denoting it as kosher. Imagine that, kosher porn!

The State of the Union Pageant

Let's face it. The State of the Union speech really looks more like an annual pageant. The words and topics of the speech have only symbolic meaning, not real meaning. How many times has the State of the Union speech reflected what really happens later in the year. The ritual of the President's entrance, the obligatory standing ovation, the seating of the Cabinet, the nod from the First Lady, blah, blah, blah, just prove that what we see has little meaning beyond the symbolic. The pageant serves more as a secular rite than a real speech. Don't expect much of substance tonight.

Imagine a wedding. All the parties have a role and even a place to stand. The two families sit on different sides of the central aisle. The mothers of the two betrothed have special places to sit. The bride enters to an anthem, the father of the bride performs a short ritual speech, the couple recite fairly standard phrases, and holy man blesses the union, then the couple exits to an anthem. Sounds a lot like the State of the Union doesn't it? How do a wedding and the State of the Union differ? Well, for one thing, a wedding ritualizes the couple's love for one another. Whereas, the State of the Union just congratulates the powerful.

3 Year Haiku

I want to break toys
Frustate no more in pieces
Don't let me do it

It's All Right

Here comes the sun, I say, it's all right. The sun shines today for the first time in about 10 days. That may not seem like very long to some, but here in Texas 10 without sun takes a toll. It just makes you feel better to start with.

On another note, we have to take our dogs to the vet tomorrow. It doesn't look good for either one of them. The oldest one is fading fast, and the young one has stopped eating (or at least almost) which isn't at all like her. Hoping for the best.

Are You Just Making That Up?

Late at night in the shadows of hope and fear, the flounderer stumbles upon a beautiful myth. But, a myth to be believed, not laughed at.

Someone spoke about spooks that come late at night to stagger out from the dark corners of closets and stare. Yes, I agree they do, and I've seen them myself. Heart pounding and eyes wide open, raised on elbows I have started to flee, but never made it anywhere. Did he (it's always he) wear a black outfit or a white one? I always figured he'd choose black. So, why didn't he? Don't just stand there and scare me, go pester someone else. I have better dreams to dream than this shit! Back up and fall over the suitcase you son of a bitch. Fall all the way down to the scuffed brown shoes, and see what it feels like. Not very good, does it?

Stereotypical but True

Yeah, that's where I spend much of my time. Especially so the older I get. Those commercials of men coming out of the men's room wishing they could spend more time elswhere are pretty true to form. Not quite ready for Flowmax yet, but you notice that I remember the name of it.

All Dressed Up with Nothing to Do

Well, almost! We arrived at the office just a few minutes before noon. I guess that about 1/4 of us showed up today. No problem with getting a parking space today! So, we came to work, but there's nothing to do. (There probably is something to do, but who wants to?) It's surf the internet and blog from home, or surf the internet and blog from the office. Fine by me!

It's Back to Work

My agency has decided to open today at 12:00. We'll be leaving Round Rock in a few minutes to make an attempt to get there. No real reason to be optimistic, because the temp hasn't gotten above freezing in several days. On the one hand, I'm glad to be getting out of the house. On the other, almost everyone else (Attorney General's office, City of Austin, Travis County) has closed for the day, and I wonder if we'll even be able to get there.

Modesty Comes at a Price

An Australian company named Ahiida had developed sportswear for Muslim women. They market several lines of sporting wear, but the one that captured my attention is the burkini. Yes, a swimsuit burqa. They have two styles - slim-fit (photo) and modest-fit. I took a look at both and found it hard to tell the difference. One difference is the price: $170 AUD ($133 USD) for slim-fit, and $190AUD ($149 USD) for modest fit. Does that mean even Ahiida makes modesty the more expensive choice? Twenty bucks for a couple of inches more material. No one ever said righteousness would be cheap.

Amsterdam to Honor Prostitutes

Well, somebody had to! The city of Amsterdam will dedicate a new sculpture to the prostitutes of the world in March. The sculpture will have a woman standing in a doorway with a self confident look and her hand on her hip. Mariska Majoor, who is a former prostitute herself, has taken the iniative to honor all the world's prostitutes. The city government has donated some property in the red light district to help out. The unveiling of the statue will take place during the 2nd "open house" of the red light district. Best wishes!

Whining 'Bout the Weather

Okay, this has gotten old. I didn't like it much anyway, but now this has gone too far. First we had rain, then sleet, then snow. The problem isn't that it has happened, it's that it has happened now for so long! We don't usually have winter around here for more than about two days in a row. It's time for a break.

Texas Closed for Ice

I got a call this afternoon from my office telling me that they have already cancelled tomorrow. Well, not really cancelled it, because they can't keep it from happening, but they've already called off work tomorrow. I've worked there an awful (that's how we actually pronounce "awfully") long time, and that has never happened before. Whoa, tomorrow must be gonna turn out real bad (yeah, that's how we say that too)!

MLK Jr Day on Ice

Here's what it looked like in my back yard this morning. The temperature has fallen since then. Right now it sits at 27F.

Do You Want Ice with That?

No, not really, but it looks like I'm going to get it anyway. Tomorrow is a Federal Holiday, MLK Jr. Day, and my office will be closed. But, it won't be much of a holiday, because we will have to spend it inside the house. We've been under a Winter Storm Warning and will remain under one until...who knows? Anyway, at this moment in Round Rock the temperature sits at freezing. We've had rain for a couple of days and all the weather folks on TV tell us that driving is hazardous. They even say this may extend into Tuesday. Man, I hope not, we'll really have cabin fever by then. Us Texans don't customarily have to stay indoors very much, and it can get old pretty quick.

Taxable Income

Danish authorities have decided that the money "earned" by being a sperm donor is taxable. First of all, I didn't know they paid people to jack off, and secondly where do I sign up? No, wait, I can't sign up, I've had a vasectomy. Damn, all that time and I could have been getting paid!

In Denmark sperm banks pay "customers" for their donations. The government has now decided that such income is taxable. Sperm banks fear that reporting the income will prevent donors from remaining anonymous, and will cause them to stop donating. Ole Schou, director of one of the world's largest sperm banks, says, "it is certainly a shame and frustrating, when we have one of the world's best funcioning corps of donors." Oh, those Danes!

But, how about this donor with his own website - picture and all. Do you think he's paying taxes? And, what about that fresh home insemination procedure?

Denmark: The Land of Lowered Expectations

Or should that be The Happiest Country on Earth? According to researchers Danes report being the most satisfied with their lives, and the happiest of people. They have some of the worst weather and least enjoyable food on earth. The Swedes have more beautiful blondes, the French and Italians have much better food, so what makes the Danes so damned happy? The researchers think they know why. The Danes have lower expectations than most of us. When your expectations are low, you're always pleasantly surprised when anything better happens. So, just lower your expectations, and be happy...don't worry.

Come to think of it that's the genius of George W. Bush. We all have such low expectations of him that we're surprised when anything goes right.

$20,000 per Alien

The Texas Border Watch pilot project has come to an end. The new legislative session, which began this week, will take up the question of permanent funding. According to an article by the Associated Press the project resulted in the arrest of 10, count 'em, 10 illegal immigrants.

In case you don't know, our governor Rick Perry had 12 webcams installed on the Texas-Mexico border so that regular Texans (and anyone else) could monitor the comings and goings of persons trying to illegally enter Texas. The project had a price tag of $200,000 to get started, and resulted in the apprehension of 10 would be illegals during a month long pilot program. Yeah, that comes out to $20,000 per illegal. I'll bet the illegals would have taken a payment of $20k not to even try to enter Texas.

There Is Something in the Air

And it ain't just cedar pollen! I discovered last year that I have a strong allergy to mountain cedar pollen which has played a big part in my sinus struggles for the past year. Cedar season runs until about the end of this month. I started taking antihistamines about the first of December and (knock on wood) so far I'm handling it okay.

But that's not the real point. Today the main street in downtown Austin, Congress Ave., is closed because dozens of dead birds were littering the street. Authorities feared that the problem is due to some toxic gas or toxic something, so they closed Congress Ave from Caesar Chavez street (1st street) to 11th street and from Brazos to Colorado. That's a huge chunk of downtown.

However, in spite of radio messages to the contrary, the Capitol Complex is not closed. So, me and my co-workers are here fearlessly carrying on the business of the State of Texas. Yeah, right! The co-workers that have gone outside to look around assure us that there are no birds to be seen. Hmmm...

Better Living thru Chemistry

The Brave New World has definitely arrived. We have achieved the much sought after aphrodisiac that ourforebears spent millenia trying to find. Viagra, Cialis, Levitra...they're all here. Now, after much searching, a German pharmaceutical company, Boehringer, has stumbled across a drug that increases sexual desire in females. The drug in question flopped as an antidepressant, but hmm... it had a most desireable (pun intended) effect. In fact, many have called it the "Viagra for women." That wouldn't be exactly accurate since Viagra makes it possible for an otherwise impotent male to perform sexually. Evidently they feel no need to increase sexual desire in males.

However, that's about all that would be lacking for women. I mean they don't really have to uh...perform somuch as they have to want to. Okay, maybe that's not absolutely true, but it's pretty accurate in the general sense. The name of this new wonder drug is Flibanserin. I think they need to find a better name for it. How about Libidia?

No Wonder They Were Yelling "Muqtada"

It turns out that the cell phone video we all got to see of Saddam's hanging was definitely unofficial. Outsiders from Muqtada Al-Sadr's militia "infiltrated" into the proceedings and hung Saddam themselves. That fits perfectly with this fucked up misadventure we got ourselves into. Not only can our puppet the Iraqi government not govern anything outside of the Green Zone in Baghdad, but they can't even control it! The fact that outsiders could get to Saddam and hang him without our knowing any better just symbolizes the entire effort there.

Muqtada Al-Sadr runs a militia we call the Mahdi Army. Saddam executed his father who was the Grand Ayatollah Mohammad Mohammad Sadeq al-Sadr. Muqtada lived in exile until we overthrew Saddam. He came home after that and has managed to be a major pain in our ass ever since. He and his militia fought us in Najaf and several other places. Now it turns out they executed Saddam righ under our noses. It just makes you wonder what other fuck ups have happened that they didn't tell us about.