Let's See...Uh, Don't Tell Me...

According to a survey published in the Washington Post this past week, one third of Americans questioned couldn't remember which year the September 11 attacks took place. Hard to believe, right? Well, if you think about it, this is the same populace that elected George W. Bush president. Two times!

It's Not a Fashion Statement, It's a Fashion Curse


The Goddess came home from the hospital yesterday afternoon sporting some lovely attire. She's supposed to wear some special white stockings, called TED hose, for the next 30 days. Yes, 30 days. They're very tight and uncomfortable, she says. I don't doubt it either. You know how the pictures on the TV dinner boxes look nothing like the actual contents of the box? Well, the photo of the TEDs is like that too.

Just How Hot Is It?


The Goddess had surgery on her fake knee this week. She had to have it "rebalanced." Whatever that means. Does that mean that she used to be "unbalanced." Best not go there.

The Goddess likes her room at the hospital to be cold, so I'm having to wear sweat pants and shirts to even survive the night. Here we are during the hottest month (we've had 13 out of the last 16 days over 100F, and the 3 days that weren't over 100 were all 99) and I'm wearing stuff we wear during the winter. BTW, yesterday was 104 which just happens to be 40C, and today is supposed to cool off to 103. The AC at the hospital works a little too well. She had the thermostat on 55 and the fan on hi. I almost froze to death the first night, because I wasn't prepared for the winter. Silly me, I thought it was summer. So, I wear shorts and T-shirts when I'm away from the hospital, and I have to change to winter clothes shortly after I get there.

Last night I sneaked the thermostat up to 60. But, I still had to wear the winter stuff.

O, La Ironía

Hoy día es el aniversario de dos cosas irónicamente ligadas. Hace cuarenta y cinco años se edificó el Muro de Berlín, y hace ochenta años nació Fidel Castro. ¿Interesante, no?

Y además, hoy también se presentaron en el diario cubano, Juventud Rebelde, las primeras fotos del Líder Máximo después de su intervención quirúrgica. Evidentement, está vivo todavía. La molestia de nuestro gobierno y la picadura de avispa a casi todo el mundo de Miami no se ha salido del escenario todavía. ¡Qué no celebren demasiado temprano! El rey no ha muerto.

A pesar de que piensas del viejo cabrón, tienes que admirar su capacidad de permanecer.

¡Mira! El Líder es seguidor de Adidas también. Espera momentito, ¿Adidas? ¿El símbolo de esa compañía capitalista tan cerca del corazón del mundo comunista? Algo huele mal.

A Moment of Silence Followed by Wild and Joyful Dancing

Today, August 9, is the anniversary of the dropping of the 2nd atomic bomb on Japan. Nagasaki to be exact. Let's have a moment of silence.

Today is also the anniversary of Richard Nixon's resignation. Let's have wild and joyful dancing.

Here's hoping that one day we'll see our current president and vice-president convicted of War Crimes at the International Tribunal in The Hague. Let's have a few moments of fervent visualization of George W's conviction.

Oh Those Crazy Vikings!

Berserk is an Old Norse word that comes from beserker:

...berserkers became frenzied in battle, howling like animals, foaming at the mouth, and biting the edges of their iron shields. Berserker is first recorded in English in the early 19th century, long after these wild warriors ceased to exist.

Well, they still make berserkers up there in the Old North. No wonder heavy metal is so popular up in the high northern latitudes. Like they say, changes in latitude, changes in attitude.

A band named Mayhem showed up with the lead singer wearing a pig's head on his head. No, not the plastic kind that Arkansas Razorback fans have - oh no. It was a real pig head, blood and all. If you want to see what he looked like, just click here. But, let me warn you, I didn't post the picture myself for a reason. Even I have some sensibilities!

Place Your Bets


Several online casinos now offer you a chance to bet on when Castro will die, will appear in public, will retake control of the government, blah, blah, blah. Odds right now are 13.50 to 1 that he will appear in public within the next 10 days. They're 16.50 to 1 that he won't. Some casinos will let you bet on the date he will die. Ya takes ya chances.

With the CIA It's Not 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover


No, it's 638 ways to kill Castro. Over his 47 years in power, our spooks have devised 638 ways to do him in. The irony is that he's still hanging on, and looks like he's going to die a natural death. Unless this latest hemorrhaging is number 639 ;-)

Calling a Whore a Whore Is A Crime

At least it is in Italy. A man called his wife a whore because of the way she was dressed. To make it even worse, she in fact was a prostitute earlier in her life. He received a sentence of one year in jail due to "mistreatment and injury" of his wife. He appealed claiming that because she had been a prostitute previously, he should not have to serve his sentence. The court disagreed and said that what the man did injured wife's "moral integrity." The court said that regardless of her previous work what he said was an offense.

Dog Days

It's the dog days of summer. It wasn't until the last few years that I found out dog days refers to the constellation Canis Major that's high in the sky during the Northern Hemisphere summer. I always thought it was about how dogs in the summer don't do anything but lie around and almost never move.

Just to prove it's dog days, today the forecast high in Austin is 99F. The forecast high in NYC is 101F. Hah! It's actually hotter up there than here, but when it's hot in The City it's worse than here.

By the way, I've worked here so damned long that I have underground parking. No hot steering wheel for me!

Paris Beaches: No Topless Sunbathing


There's a beach in Paris? Paris on the ocean? No, but there is a beach there. This summer the city officials imported enough sand to form a beach along the Seine for the public to use during the exceptionally hot summer. However, there'll be no more topless sunbathing, and no more G-strings. If you do, you get fined 38 euro.

This Case Is Not Worth the Urine of an Iraqi Child

That's Saddam Hussein's take on his trial. He may be an evil killer, but he's sure got a way with words. I take it that this is not the Mother of All Trials.

Opblaasman

The Brits call him the "Buddy on Demand". He's an inflatable doll made to sit in your passenger's seat so it will appear that you're not traveling alone. They claim women feel more secure with him there. Well, there's another use for Buddy.

You know those High Occupancy Vehicle lanes in major cities? HOV lanes lets you drive faster than regular freeway traffic. Usually you have to have at least two persons in the car to be able to get in the HOV lane. Sometimes more. I think I see a really good use for old Buddy

Muslim Porn


Don't laugh! It really is porn from the Islamic Republic. Notice how she's just enticing you with that veil pulled away. And not just pulled back, but completely open to view! My Allah!

Hey, It Was Time to Partay!


Jeffrey Pelley killed his father, step-mother, and two step-sisters then went to a party. I guess he reckoned it was time to lighten up. Yeah, I mean killing four family members isn't the most relaxing thing you can do. That was a long time ago when Jeffrey was 17 years old. Hell, he's twice that age now. Only, now he's looking at 260 years in the pen. Just think, if he'd turned himself in back then and got the same sentence, he'd only have 243 years left to go.

Harold and Maude: The Sequel

They're actually named Simon and Edna, but they remind me of Harold and Maude. Many folks are too young to remember, but I guess I'm showing my age. Anyway, I say congratulations.

So If He Goes Impotent, Will He Cut Off His Penis?


Mickey Rourke found a unique way to get rid of his frustrations: He cut off his pinky finger. Well, not the whole thing, just the tip of it. He said he suddenly thought that he didn't need it anymore anyway. So, if his dick goes limp is he gonna cut it off too?

Cayenne Ain't Just a Pepper


No, it's also a Sinus Buster! You see, I'm still suffering from my sinus problems, but not near as much. I googled home remedies for sinusitis, and I found the Sinus Buster website. It uses the substance in the cayenne pepper called capsaicin in a metered nasal spray to shrink sinuses. Of course, the site has all kinds of testimonials. I ponied up my $20 or so, and got a spray bottle of it last week.

I won't lie, it burns. Oh yeah, it burns. But, it's not as bad as I expected it to be. Anyway, it really works! I have no trouble breathing at all any more. I still csn't smell or taste food, but I've come to like the loss of smell in certain situations. In fact, those situations are quite numerous. Even more frequent that I first thought.

Most people smell everything until they decide to hold their nose when something smells bad. What I'd like to do now is to change my default setting to no smell. But, to be able to smell when I specifically wanted to. Now, that's an idea for science!

It's Hot All Over

Not only is Europe suffering thru a heat wave, we are too! Well, actually ours is more expected...hell, it's this way every summer. So, what's new? Nothing really, except the usual complaining - God (followed by 1.5 second wait) Damn, it's hot! This is muttered by old timers and new timers alike. There's a point when even the sun worshippers can't take any more.

The forecast high for today in Austin is 104F (40C). Park your car in the sun, and you get to practice some one-finger-on-the-steering-wheel driving. Holding the steering wheel long enough to turn a corner is a bitch!

World Champion Vacationers

If you're going to be World Champs at something, then being World Champs at vacationing would be the best. The Dutch have won that prize, and it didn't take taunting the competition either. No headbutts, no cussing, no whatever. Well, there probably was some cussing somewhere, but it doesn't count. Now, there's a bunch of people after my own heart: World Champion Vacationers! It's tough, but somebody's got to do it.