No Money-Back Guarantee

The poor guy that lost a judgment to his new bride (see below) about his impotence doesn't stand a chance. The company that manufactures Levitra used to have a money-back guarantee if it didn't...uh...perform correctly. Now, they can't even do that, it's against the law...at least in Norway.

That's Gonna Cost Ya!

A bride discovered on her wedding night that her new husband suffered from impotence. She went to court over it...and won! The Court agreed with her that her fiancé should not have kept his affliction a secret. Better get it up, guys! If not, you'll see her in court.

Rita Watch: Advisory 20

What's left of Hurricane Rita (yes, a full week later) traveled all the way to Norway over 8000 km. The Bergen Tidende reports that Rita was to arrive there Friday. She did, but not with as much rain as expected. So, while Rita is in the far North Atlantic, some TWC employees are working seven days a week to try to help with the mess she left.

Imagine by George W. Bush

Imagine, it's easy if you try, imagine George W. Bush below us, above us only sky.

Objetos Voladores No Identificados

El pueblito de Lajas en Puerto Rico ha decidido construir un aeropuerto para los OVNIS. Sí, ¡es la verdad! Un ganadero local ha puesto un rótulo con las palabras "Ruta Extraterrestre". El pequeño pueblo ha tenido una historia de contactos frecuentes con los del espacio. El alcalde del pueblo apoya el proyecto porque se cree que va a atraer los turistas. La pista del ovnipuerto va a ser 25 metros de largo con pirámides para torres de control. Se dice que a los extraterrestes les gustan las pirámides. ¿Qué le parece?

Rita Watch: Advisory 19

I learned this afternoon that my agency will be open each night this week until 7:00pm. We will also be open on Saturday 8:00am to 5:00pm and Sunday 1:00pm to 5:00pm. That's a lot of overtime when we've already had lots of overtime from Katrina.

This time we'll be taking Texas claims for Hurricane Rita. Other states are still handling Katrina claims, and the Louisiana Department of Labor opened a call center today to handle claims from Rita, I believe. There's so many different phone numbers now for different callers that the fraud vulnerability is going to be tremendous.

Lots of things have gone wrong with the Rita effort, but Texas evacuated twice the number of people as Louisiana. We also evacuated our nursing homes and hospitals. Yes, we had a terrible tragedy in Wilmer when that bus exploded, but all in all I believe we did a much better job than Louisiana. Michael Brown blamed it all on Louisiana government officials, and some of what he said is no doubt true. However, FEMA made plenty of its own mistakes and failed miserably.

Louisiana has long been more like a Third World country than like the rest of the US. I have said that ever since I traveled there the first time as an adult. I've been to and through Louisiana about 10 times as an adult. So, to see something resembling Haiti is not surprising. But, that should never happen in America, period.

Rita Watch: Advisory 18

Lines formed today in Houston at the FEMA office to register for benefits. Some people began waiting as early as Tuesday night. Around noon today people in line started to pass out from the heat. FEMA closed the line because it was just too hot for people to be waiting outside. There are new complaints about FEMA and its slow response, but this time it’s about Hurricane Rita.

Persons wanting to file claims for UI or DUA are waiting today between 12 and 25 minutes for their call to be answered. Then, once the call is answered, completion of the claim takes between 10 and 20 minutes. So, in the worst case, claimants may have to wait up to 45 minutes.

Rita Watch: Advisory 17

For those returning to the Gulf Coast another problem has reared its head. The dam at Lake Livingston is under tremendous pressure necessitating release of water. One problem though. The bridge over the Trinity River near the dam has a loose barge against one of the supports. If the water release is too strong the barge could damage the bridge making it dangerous to cross, or even knocking it down. For the time being, traffic on US 59 (a major thoroughfare from East Texas to Houston) is being diverted to other highways. New long lines of traffic and gridlock are popping up.

Right now, the wait on hold to file a claim for UI or DUA is between 10 and 15 minutes. That's the wait for Texas Rita claimants. Katrina calls are going mostly to other states. We don't yet know who will handle the Louisiana Rita calls.

So far, there is no Hurricane Stan on the horizon, but it's early still.

Do You Really Want to Swim with the Dolphins?

The press is reporting that Hurricane Katrina caused the release of several military dolphins. Yes, navy dolphins. They are outfitted with a special harness that holds toxic darts. These dolphins have been trained to locate and shoot underwater terrorists. No, it's not a joke. Be careful, and watch out for that harness.

Rita Watch: Advisory 16

First, let me correct the temperature I reported yesterday. I said it was 100F. It wasn't...it was 108F (43C). That's unbelievable even for Texas! Last week of September and 108? We're dyin' here! All those clouds and water just a few miles to the east.

The in-laws and the 4 dogs left this morning for home. They planned to leave about 4:00am, and they must have done it because they were gone when we got up at 6:00.

There were quite a few cars on the road this morning from the Houston area. How can I tell? Well, they were full of people and dogs and they had the windows down. Besides, that they had the name of a car dealer in Houston or the like. One of the traffic info signs said, "Expect delays to Houston. Gas shortages." Traffic was pretty heavy.

This morning our phone lines are all busy, and we have a 15 minute wait to get your call answered. Not too bad really. But, not even all of Houston is back yet, much less Galveston, Beaumont, or Port Arthur.

I just got a call that told me the in-laws got home just fine. They bought gas on the way home. It was $3.12 a gallon. Cheap by European standards. Exorbitant by US standards.

Rita Watch: Advisory 15

The weather in Austin has been very hot. We've had temperatures of 100F (38C) for this entire time. Not one drop of rain.

It had to happen. Two of the dogs got into it last nite over the water bowl. No blood was drawn, but there was definitely a fight. Then, another dog got into it with the same one. Belle took on Dutchess and had her pinned. They were broken up by the 86 year old man. Imagine that! Then Sandy jumped on Dutchess, too. The home team ganged up on the oldest dog of the visiting team. Pretty pitiful if you ask me. Taking on a deaf and blind opponent is not anything to brag about. But, the match between Sandy and Dutchess was more even. Sandy is 15 years old, and Dutchess is 16 or 17. They're both pretty much deaf and blind. No damage was done except to some dog egos.

With all this going on, Jennifer our daughter celebrated her 33rd birthday today. So, she got a bonus of an aunt and uncle at the party. We all went to Chuy's (the restaurant made famous by Jenna Bush when she was drinking under-age).

Martha and Al are returning to Houston tomorrow according to the plan that the Houston mayor laid out. For residents whose homes are south of I-10 and west of I-45 Monday is the day to return.

Tomorrow is the first day of filing DUA claims. It promises to be busy. I heard earlier today that 9 counties in Texas have been declared a disaster area. I don't know how many parishes in Louisiana have been added, but I'm pretty sure there are several that weren't part of the Katrina declaration.

Rita Watch: Advisory 14

From the looks of it at 2:25 pm the storm didn't wreak the devastation that Katrina did in Mississippi. I have just watched a video taken in Beaumont this morning, and I'm glad I'm not there, but it looks much more manageable that what Katrina left behind. However, reports from Sabine Pass and southwestern Louisiana haven't really come in yet. There are reports that people in Louisiana had called for rescue, but couldn't be helped because of the severity of the conditions.

The Governor is asking everyone to stay where they are, and not try to come back yet. The in-laws went to Target to get some dressier clothes so they can go to church tomorrow.

The dogs are quite content now, and aren't pacing all over. They're doing what dogs do best, that is they're laying around napping.

Rita Watch: Advisory 13

A reporter for KHOU-TV, who is in Beaumont, spoke with a police officer there in one of the neighborhoods who said, "There's looting all over the place." The officer also said that they've arrested a few people, but there's no appropriate place to keep them. Maybe the jail is no longer operational.

Large areas around Houston are without electricity. Kingwood is without power, and has many downed trees.

The eye of the storm (or what's left of it) is near Lufkin in East Texas with 100 mph winds. Lufkin is in a part of East Texas that is almost all pine trees. When I was about 8 or 9 years old we used to visit some friends, the Boyds, in Lufkin. What I most remember is that I would sneeze the entire time. I'm allergic to Lufkin. In spite of that, it's beautiful over there.

The mayor of Houston says that it's not a good time to come back. Reports are that there's no gasoline available. They're afraid people will have the same problems they did on Thursday and Friday.

The six dogs and six people made it thru the night without serious incident. Mo the sheltie continues to pester Sandy the 15 year old cocker. He must have a learning disability, because he always gets in trouble but he won't stop.

Rita Watch: Advisory 12

Reports are that a fire has broken out on the Strand in Galveston. Three building are reportedly engulfed in flames. The Strand is a historic area in downtown Galveston with lots of shops and restaurants. So far, the cause is unknown. Firefighters are having to deal with high winds which are fanning the flames.

Rita Watch: Advisory 11

Unless Rita makes a sudden lurch to the west, Austin won't even get any rain. The forecast for tomorrow is a 20% chance. Houston could see some flooding from heavy rains, but it looks like Houston will be on the safe side of the storm. Right now Rita looks like she's going to come inland almost right at the mouth of the Sabine River which is the state line between Texas and Louisiana.

For cities that are inland from the beach, the real problem will be tornados. Hurricanes set off lots of tornados as they start to pass over land. According to an AP story, a meteorologist in Lake Charles, La. said he could not keep count of the tornado warnings across southern Louisiana, "They were just popping up like firecrackers." This hurricane will probably also cause a lot of flooding, and East Texas (no that's not eastern Texas. Only furriners would say that.) is a place that already has all the rainfall it needs. Lots of pine trees in East Texas. In fact, Texas has a pretty large lumber industry, and it's located right where Rita is headed.

Well, in about 8 hours Rita will be on Texas soil. We sure are a hospitable folk aren't we? We can put up with some really rude visitors.

Rita Watch: Advisory 10

Get out your Sharpies, folks! The Governor of Louisiana, Kathleen Blanco, has told those who have chosen to ride out Rita to "write their Social Security numbers on their arms with indelible ink." Notice she said arms. I guess that means to write your number on both arms, so that if you should become dismembered they'll know which arm goes with which body ;-)

Get on your knees, folks! The Governor of Texas, Rick Perry, said "Be calm, be strong, say a prayer for Texas."

Based on our leaders' remarks, it ain't lookin' good.

Last night I read in a Swedish tabloid called Aftonbladet that another tabloid The National Enquirer has reported that Hurricane Katrina has made our President take to the bottle again. Now, with Rita coming he may go back to using cocaine.

Like I said, it ain't lookin' good.

Rita Watch: Advisory 9

The in-laws are at my house napping along with their four dogs. They left Houston at about 3:30 am and had no trouble getting to Austin. They went on "back roads" until they got to Hwy 71, then they came on in to Austin.

The four visiting dogs have met the two resident dogs, and it is reported that they got along just fine.

I heard reports that some levees in New Orleans have given way, and the Ninth Ward is flooding again.

We have finished (I think) getting the training and support material ready for use next week. It's going thru some final reviews right now.

I was reading some comments on the evacuation in which one person said, "Rick Perry makes George Bush look like a Rhodes Scholar." Now, that's tough talk! Funny...really funny...but tough.

Don't Mess with Texas

Rita Watch: Advisory 8

It's a sunny day here in Austin, and traffic was sort of light. That's a little mysterious, because with all the horror stories about traffic around the state I expected more than what I found.

Hotels and motels line I-35 for most of my drive in to work. Just from looking at the parking lots, they're all full. However, only one had a sign saying "no vacancy."

I read this morning that about 20 elderly people were killed in a bus fire near Wilmer, Texas. They were part of the exodus from the coast. Officials suspect that oxygen in use on the bus played a roll. That's one of those terribly sad unintended consequences. Rita has already claimed some lives in Texas, and she's not on land yet.

The wind is out of the north north-east. Very unusual for this part of the state. We're on the back side of the storm and this is some of its leading edge.

My sister-in-law and her husband called saying they were near Austin-Bergstrom International Airport. She said they had driven 60 mph all the way, and had no trouble. From the sound of it they probably went west on I-10 to Columbus, then north on Hwy 71. Strange that there was no traffic. That contradicts the stories I've heard on the radio and read on the web.

Rita Watch: Advisory 7



The Texas Department of Transportation has opened up both sides of almost all highways out of Houston and Beaumont to outbound traffic. Even with that it's still taking people 10 to 12 hours to travel what would normally be a 2-3 hour trip. Tanker trucks are delivering gasoline to people who've run out of gas on the highway. I've heard stories that people are turning off their engines and pushing their cars to save gas. The traffic is so slow that they only have to push the car 2 or 3 feet (about 0.5 to 0.75 meters) at a time. Hell of a way to get outta Dodge!


Traffic in the Capital City is heavier than normal, but I got home after work at about the regular time. I spent almost all day writing up and/or editing training for Hurricane Rita disaster claims. Our Tele-Centers are giving the training in sort of small groups. So, we're busy trying to come up with the next needed thing before they get through delivering the most recent needed thing. I think the new word for that is just-in-time delivery.

My boss's boss, let's call him Bob, was on a conference in his office with our Network Coordinator, let's call him Ernie, when he had to take another call at his secretary's cubicle. That call turned into a conference call too! So, he's standing in the cube with another person, let's call her Pat, talking on the speakerphone, while the other conference call with Ernie continues in his office. Things have gotten a little out of hand.

I learned on the way home that Rita has taken a turn toward the east, and is probably going to have landfall closer to Beaumont/Port Arthur than Galveston. The Goddess figured that her sister, the husband and the four dogs wouldn't come. They called about 6:45 tonight to say that they're leaving Houston at 2:00 am tomorrow morning and will be here when they can get here. We don't know when to expect them with all the reports of heavy, heavy traffic.

Rita Watch: Advisory 6

It's true that you can't believe everything you read. Take this for example: Texas evakueras - nu tar man inga risker. That was a headline on Expressen.se which is a Swedish newspaper website. It says something like: Texas is being evacuated - no one taking any risks now. Well, uh, no...not quite the whole state is being evacuated. Texas is a little bigger in territory than France, and has a population of about 20,000,000. That would be impossible to evacuate!

Although there are reports that it's taking 6 hours or more to go 10 miles. I read from one source that Texas has requested help from the Pentagon to get gasoline to people on the highway who've run out of gas and are stranded. Whew, I filled up yesterday!