Not a Good Comparison

Michael Jackson says he's the victim of a conspiracy much like Nelson Mandela. Uh, Michael, now let's not get carried away. The only way your name and Nelson's belong in the same sentence is to show just how irrelevant you are. Not even a close comparison! What a schmuck.

Billy Idol or Is That Idle?

It happens to the best of us, and it happened to Billy Idol too. He started growing gray pubic hair. So, he took the bull by the horns (so to speak) and shaved them off! He must not have a lot to do lately. Hey, it's tough getting publicity when you're a no talent has-been.

At Least They're Not Having Sex

Studies from the Abstinence Clearinghouse show that teens who take the abstinence pledge not to have sex before marriage are more likely to try anal and oral sex than those who don't. Hmmm...what does that mean? That's kinda like saying you're a vegetarian, but that you eat chicken.

What Does That Say About Family?

De Telegraaf reports that pets are more loved (or at least loved as much) as family and friends by almost one third of pet owners. Surprising? Not really.

One in Three Americans Are Chronically Overworked

One third of all American's are overworked. That's sad to hear, but let me tell ya, I'm a member of the other 2/3. But, hey, it ain't easy!

A Product in Demand

A student in Brazil was arrested recently for selling drugs. Uh, Viagra that is. Yes, he was set up in business with 7000 boxes of the stuff. Seems a shipment was stolen last August. Did he keep any for personal use?

Ultima Cena

Ultima Cena, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

An idea whose time has come. Well, not to "Old Europe", but at least to my blog. Italy, France and Spain have banned its public display. Hey, y'all! We're the religious fanatics! Quit crowding us out.

Nearly & Almost Just Don't Count

Sorry, President Musharraf, but almost catching Bin Laden ten months ago is just as good as almost winning the lottery. Nuthin'! Gimme a break, what are you after, more military aid? Isn't having the A bomb enough? And what about that guy of yours, Mr. Khan, that got off with no penalty for selling nuclear technology? With friends like y'all, we'll be dead soon.

Like a Breath of Fresh Air

A new product is on the market. It's a little hard to describe, so just click on the link, and breathe a little easier.

Ama al Projimo

Ama al Projimo, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

Yes, it says "Love your neighbor as yourself." But, that's a condom in his hand! Does that mean ya gotta use a condom to jack off?

The 100 Unsexiest Women

It's like they say: Someone has to finish at the bottom of the class.

Psst...Hey, I've Got a Plan

A fire broke out in a prison in the Dominican Republic very early Monday morning. They say that two gangs were fighting each other for control of the place, when some of them set fire to their bedding. Some 100+ prisoners died. Of the ones who didn't some were wounded by gunshots and stabbing. Makes ya wonder just how much effort the guards put into regaining control. What I reckon happened is that a guard gave a prisoner a pistol, and let boys be boys. Nice way to get rid of a bunch of trouble-makers. Hmm...now that we can't kill minors in prison anymore, maybe we should think about...

What's This World Coming To?

The US Supreme Court has outlawed the death penalty for minors. What the hell? Us Texans are proud of killin' the young and the mentally retarded! Now they've taken that away from us. Damn! So, what are they gonna do next, outlaw polygamy?

Is That a Muslim Arts & Crafts Store?

According to Daniel Pipes, out of favor neo-con, the "Wahhabi Lobby" in the US is what we need to get rid of. He says there are NGOs here that are giving radical fundamentalist Islam a good name. Where has this guy been? Hanging out with Paul Wolfowitz and smokin' crack? Gimme a break!

But...It's The Real Thing!

Nazaneen Rashid says that the new liberty has only brought "us cans of Coca-Cola". Considering the way we bring liberty and prosperity to people she should be glad it was Coca-Cola and not Shasta.

Anti-Semitism: It's Not Just for Jews Anymore

Looks like the Neo-Nazis have spewed their anti-semitic vitriol in a new direction. But, hey, Arabs are semites too! Of course, not all Arabs are Muslim, but not all Nazis are German either.

Don't Bring that Homewrecking Bitch to MY House!

President Bush has declared Camilla Parker Bowles unwelcome to the White House. The President considered it inappropriate for them to be invited to the White House, because (get this) they are both divorced and have been involved in some recent scandals. I think that makes just about all of us Americans ineligible to be invited.

It's Been a Busy Week

This week has seen the assassination of the former Prime Minister of Lebanon, Dear Leader Kim Jong Il's birthday, North Korea and Iran announcing nuclear visions, Syria in hot water over the assassination, Syria and Iran (as if they both needed more heat) announced an agreement to defend themselves from the US, and it was Valentine's Day for God's sake! But, the biggest news (which came from a European source) is that the Pope is dead and that Osama Bin Laden is actually in the Vatican posing as the Pope. It's true! I know it's hard to believe, but they can do wonders with extreme make-overs nowadays. Although, I'm not sure why a middle-aged Arab with a full beard would want to become an old, old Polack with Parkinson's disease, but my source is impeccable. Take it to the bank!

Speak French to Avoid Delinquency

A new study in France has determined that the reason children of immigrants turn to delinquency is that they don't speak French. What a novel idea! Why haven't we thought of it before? Now, all we have to do is teach the Bloods, Crips, and Mara Salvatrucha to speak French. Pas problem!

Let's Go Guantanamo

A new British reality TV show called Guantanamo Guidebook will have contestants submit to torture a la Camp X-ray to see how long they can last. Bring 'em off!