Islam Is Peace

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I Think They're Only Proving the Point

Some Danish cartoonist probably had no idea that such a storm would result from cartoons about Muhammed. But, oh, they have! In fact, some Muslims have become so angry about the cartoon depicting Muhammed as a terrorist that they have threatened to kidnap Europeans in Gaza City. Bomb threats have arrived at newspapers that re-printed the cartoons in Denmark, the Netherlands, Spain, Italy, and so on. Protesters in London are calling for the heads of the slanderers. Unfortunately, they are just proving the Danish guy right. What irony.

Don't Forget about Greenland


Sermitsaq, a newspaper in Greenland, has joined the fray in the Mohammed cartoons. Yes, Greenland. The paper's chief editor says that he doesn't expect a big outcry in Greenland, because there's only one (1) Muslim in the entire country. Wow, what a risk taker!

Denmark to Muslims, Make Your Own Porn!

"You boycott our cheese, and we'll cut off your Internet access to our 40 years of experience leading the world in hard core porn. Where are you gonna get your fake pussies now?" Whoa, this is getting down right mean! Doggy style, indeed.

Going Once, Going Twice

Glamour model Jordan is auctioning off her used silicon breast implants on ebay. She said, "Jag har haft dem i åtta år så det är dags för ett nytt par" (I've had them eight years so it is time for a new pair.) She says she wants the new ones to be a little smaller and firmer. Hmmm...I wonder what the starting price is. Whatever it is, it's too much.

What a Herculean Effort It Must Be...

To do anything worthwhile in an environment like this! Yes, it's true, this is my cube. I make great sacrifices all day, all the time. Don't I?

Bubba Likes It
Christine and Her Dogs

Bubba the dog that is. A dog food company in New Zealand, maker of Mighty Mix, has offered to contribute a specially developed food donation to the hungry in Kenya. They say that it's not dog food, but just what would it be? The Kenyan government says that it's hungry children are not so hungry that they would eat dog food. Easy for him to say, huh? Bureaucrat in Nairobi living in luxury. How would he know, anyway? The newspaper that reported the "offer" also reported that Christine Drummond, the company owner, at first offered to send dog biscuits. Then, she changed her offer and wanted to send a special freeze-dried product that you just mix with water. Would it be better than eating the flies off of your face?

Raise Your Hand If You're Sure

That you'd rather die than eat pork.

Uh, Oh, Busted!

The folks at dot.tk have decided that my blog falls outside the realms of decency, and they can no longer handle my Internet traffic. Get a load of this:

According to article 14.1 of the terms and conditions of FREEDOMAIN.TK domain names we are unable to accept this URL, because the contents might contain sexually explicit products or services, or promotion for racial, ethnic or social hatred. Please change the URL and try again.

Gimme a break! Now, if I wanted to switch to a PAIDDOMAIN.TK it would all be okay. Yes, they'll still handle my traffic, if I'll just pay them to. No thanks.

A Portent of Things to Come?

Activists and lawyers against the War in Iraq will hold a mock trial in Cairo Saturday and Sunday (Super Sunday?) against George W. Bush, Tony Blair, and Ariel Sharon for war crimes. Ex-presidents from Algeria and Malaysia will attend, and former President Nelson Mandela of South Africa will preside over the trial.

This is troubling because we don't want George W to be upset while he's watching the Super Bowl and choke to death on a pretzel. Why not? Well, that would make The King of Darkness the President.

No, we don't want that.

Well, At Least It Makes Him Look Better



Michael Jackson has been spotted in Bahrain wearing an abaya. An abaya is an all-covering garment worn by women in some Muslim countries. Not a bad idea actually. He's been looking like an old white woman for a long time, so he might as well dress like a woman. Besides, it improves his appearance.

Our Governor-in-Waiting

Why the Hell Not?

He's got my vote! Havin' a Governor named Kinky is better'n havin' one named Dubya.

You Have the Right to a Prostitute - Part 2

Poor Mr. Vegener Hansen of Denmark lost his lawsuit against the Danish government for refusing to pay for his visits to a prostitute. Back on January 7 I noted that he had sued to get his visits paid for, but the decision has come down in the government's favor. "Society should not have to pay for a handicapped person's purchase of sex," was the ruling of the court. The government will pay for a government care giver to arrange for visits with a prostitute, and to drive the handicapped person to the hooker's "place of business."

Now All He Needs Is a Talk Show


In making his threats to Americans, Osama Bin Laden suggested that we read a little known book called, Rogue State. After Osama's "speech" recently, the book shot up the sales list to number 18. I wonder which author Bush will recommend during the State of the Union Address. Marvel Comics?

Parrot Reveals a Woman's Cheating

Chris Taylor had a girlfriend named Suzy Collins. The reason he doesn't have her still is because of his pet parrot. The parrot, named Ziggy started saying, "Hi Gary!" and making kissing sounds everytime Suzy's cell phone rang. This caused Chris some concern, but he thought the bird had heard it from television. It turns out that Ziggy was just repeating what he heard Suzy say.

One afternoon while Chris and Suzy were sitting around together the bird blurted out, "I love you, Gary." It turns out that Suzy had been "entertaining" Gary in Chris's apartment, and the bird heard it all. Hah! Caught!

The real sad news is that Chris had to give Ziggy away, because he couldn't bear to listen to Ziggy repeating his rival's name. Awwk!

Je Voulais Le Manger, mais Pas Le Tuer


Armin Meiwes, the Cannibal, said in court that he wanted to eat his victim, but not kill him. He was hoping that the victim would die or commit suicide. I suppose when Bernd Jürgen Brandes didn't kill himself and didn't bleed to death, Armin did what he had to do. They had cut Bernd's penis off and had shared it as an appetizer. I mean you can only wait for the main course for so long.

Another Westerner Kidnapped in Iraq

DOHA, QATAR Al-Jazeera, the Qatari Arabic language television network, broadcast video from Al-Qaeda in Iraq today purporting to show a new western hostage being threatened with a rifle to the head. The tape demanded the release of all muslim women being held in U.S. and coalition prison facilities. The network quoted the tape as saying, "The lives of hundreds of muslim women in the unbelievers' jail cells are worth one western chicken. We will slaughter the chicken if our sisters are not released." A Pentagon source who requested anonymity said, "We have no confirmation of the kidnapping, or information on the nationality of the bird."

It Will Look Like the Night Vision Shots of Baghdad under Attack


"One Night in Paris" the home-made porn film by former Paris Hilton boyfriend Rick Solomon will air on Swedish TV. Yeah, no shit, they're going to show it. Now, if it's like the little "teaser" I saw of it, it is a fuzzy green hard to see picture like it was shot through night vision goggles. You'd think the Swedes would show better porn than that on TV!

Is That What It Does for You?


Albert Hofmann, the discoverer of LSD, celebrated his 100th birthday today. He was working for the drug company Sandoz in 1943 when he discovered the substance. Hofmann has said that it seems as if he were predestined to discover LSD, because he had a mystical experience as a child in the forest near Basel where he was born. You can send him birthday greetings at birthday@hofmann.org.

We Would Just Execu...Uh, Let Him Sleep That Long

Spanish prosecutors have requested a sentence of between 13,322 and 17,010 years in prison for Ricardo Miguel Cavallo. He is charged the crimes of genocide and terrorism during the military dictatorship from 1976-1983 in Argentina.

He is accused of being one of the main actors in the Guerra Sucia (Dirty War) in Argentina when thousands of leftists disappeared. Apparently he was in charge of one of the "detention centers" where 5000 to 30,000 people disappeared.

Now, here in Texas we would just put him out of our misery. No, not put him out of his misery, I really did mean out of our misery. We wouldn't kill him, we would just let him sleep for 17,000 years.

Me & Julio Down by the Barn Yard

The Goddess and I went to a Bed & Breakfast for our anniversary in Wimberly, Texas. Wimberly is about 20 miles west of San Marcos, and is known as an artist town. We stayed at the Highpoint Manor which also goes by the name of Old McMayhew's Farm. They have a variety of animals there, mostly for guests to see. However, they do use the eggs from the chickens and ducks. We had scrambled duck eggs on our second morning. They tasted so good that I thought the cook had put cheese in them.



One of the animals is a goat named Julio. They named him Julio because "he sangs so purdy." I didn't get to hear him sing, but I did get to see him spit. He runs over to the fence whenever he sees a human approaching. He'll start spitting at them, if they get close enough. He started spitting at me, so I started spitting back. The picture is of us spitting at each other.

Youwee!

My wife gave me a new iPod for our anniversary. Our anniversary is January 2, but it was late coming in, so I just got it today. I'm loading all my music on it right now. Oh what a lucky man I am! This is my second iPod. I have one of the first generation ones that was still carrying on just fine. But, this one is smaller and bigger at the same time. Know what I mean?

Tests Prove Government Spying via Foil Hats

Well, okay, maybe not prove, but a foil hat doesn't interfere with government transmissions, it actually helps them. Don't believe me? Just check it out!

"It Is Finished"

John 19:30, "When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, 'It is finished': and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost."

That's what Tom DeLay said too. Only Tom said it today - not 2000 years ago. He has given up his battle to return to his former post as House Majority Leader. Weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth? Not from me!

You Have the Right to a Prostitute

Mr. Vegener Hansen of Denmark has sued the government for not approving his request to hire a prostitute. Mr. Hansen is disabled and the government pays for someone to bring food to his house. He claims that sex is a human right and that the government should pay for him to visit a prostitute. The law in Denmark allows for Mr. Hansen to be reimbursed for expenses he incurs related to his disability. Since prostitution has been legal in Denmark since 1999, he says that the government made an "injust moral decision" when they refused to pay for a prostitute to come to his apartment. Now, that's not bad - you get a prostitute and you don't even have to pay!

Long Live the King!



Football is King in Texas, and Texas is king in Football. At least for the next year. Our professional teams suck so bad that UT had to step up and "carry the ball for Texas." All is right with the world. We Are the Champions!

This Week Will Be Forever Known as Green Week

To the charities anyway. After Jack Abramoff plead guilty to fraud and bribery the politicians are racing each other to give the money they received from him to charity. I think the charities will remember this week for a long time.

Right Place, Wrong Time

My dad and I both had doctor's appointments this week. Mine was today at 3:00, his was tomorrow at 3:00. I took off work and went to my doctor's office. I went to the window and announced that I was there for my 3:00 appointment. The receptionist said, "I don't have you down." I said, "Yes, at 3:00." She said, "No, I don't have you down." I looked at my appointment card and discovered that my appointment is for tomorrow at 3:00, and my dad's appointment was for today. So, I have to go back tomorrow. I called my dad's doctor's office and discovered that not only was his appointment today, but it was at 2:30. Now, I was about 30 minutes away from home, so I couldn't just go pick him up and show up a little late.

Okay, now the appointments are for me at 3:00 tomorrow and my dad on Wednesday the 11th at 2:15. Too bad it's my dad that's on the memory medication, 'cause it looks like I could use some of it too.

It's Still Hot

Yes, I know that my whining about the hot weather has lasted a long time, but, dammit it's still hot! Our wedding anniversary is January 2, and each year we go to a Bed & Breakfast for a couple of nights. Now, usually it's cool (the weather I mean) when we go. A couple of times there was even a light dusting of snow. Yes, a light dusting, the kind that's melted by about 10:00 am. But, this year we actually ran the air conditioner in the car all the way there and back. Temps were in the 80s. The high today was 85 (29 C.). They even set a record in Dallas for the high temperature on New Year's Day. I forgot to take a jacket when we left, and I didn't even need one. Not even at night! So, this is what New Year's is like in Australia, huh?

I Didn't See It, But I Wish I Had

A recent episode of South Park called "Bloody Mary" is about a statue of the Virgin Mary bleeding from her ass. Oh yeah! They even have the Pope comment. It was about to re-run when a group of Catholics asked (pressured) the Comedy Channel not to show it anymore. So, how am I gonna see it now?

Cold Front Number 16

In Mexico the Secretariat of Government has issued an emergency declaration for the state of Chihuahua. Chihuahua borders Texas and New Mexico. The emergency declaration is for Frente Frio Número Dieciseis. Yes, they have numbers for the cold fronts and emergency declarations as well. So, what does it take for them to get a name, the way hurricanes do? That would be interesting, "Bundle up tonight folks, because Cold Front Monica is on her way to town." Hell, we'd surely need more than 21 names per season.

Mystery Trip – Poco Poco, Indeed!

By the time we got to the hotel and checked in, the time was about 6:00 pm. We rested a few minutes, and then went to the main restaurant to eat. Everything was very good. No surprises, and we were glad about that. After a trying day on Thursday, we just wanted to rest. We didn’t even stay up for the entertainment.

Saturday was actually my birthday. I slept until about 10:30, then went looking for the Goddess and coffee. I found the coffee first, then I found the Goddess in a lounge chair on the beach under several palm trees. I sat down in a lounge chair beside her and stared empty-mindedly for a long time. I don’t often stare empty-mindedly – not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t. My mind doesn’t turn off very easily. But, sleeping late in Curaçao, and lying on a lounge chair on the beach will do every time!

Lunch was ready at 12:30, so we ate in the restaurant, then returned to the lounge chairs for naps. I awoke with sun burning my legs, and sun burning the Goddess. The Goddess is so fair that a mere 10 minutes in the tropical sun will burn her badly, so I woke her up. We went back to the room, and slept pretty much the rest of the day. What a birthday! Some people would be very unhappy with sleeping their birthday away, but not me! It was perfect.

Later in the evening we went to eat at one of the special restaurants in the hotel. Get this: it was Japanese. Yes, Japanese-Curaçaoan food. It was wonderful! I was even able to use the chopsticks (I can’t normally). Our “Japanese” cook informed us that he wasn’t a “real Japanese.” I didn’t really have any doubt, but he sure could cook well.

All in all, an excellent day.

Mystery Trip – Escape from Miami



We returned to the Embassy Suites hotel to find that the EZ Car Rental desk wasn’t open yet. We stood there looking around, but no one was showing up. The Goddess asked the Concierge about when EZ would show up, and he offered to take the keys for us. We decided to eat breakfast in the restaurant at the Embassy Suites.

This is one of those hotels that has a free made-to-order breakfast as part of the room rate. If you’re not a guest, you have to pay for the breakfast. No problem. So we go to the reception desk, and say we want to pay for breakfast. Our request threw the clerk into a tailspin. She didn’t know how to do that. I mean her job is checking people in and out, how the hell is she supposed to take payment for breakfast. She asked her co-worker for help. Of course, the co-worker had to ask us all the same questions the clerk has just asked us even though the co-worker was standing right there. Now, I’ll bet if I had been talking about Ashton Kutcher, she would have heard it all! Anyway, we paid for the breakfast and went to eat. They gave us an entire hotel print-out for a receipt.

We arrived at MIA (ironic name, no?) with time to spare. One thing I noticed in Miami is that if you don’t yell at the person you’re trying to ask a question, they will ignore you. We couldn’t find the right line to get in for checking our bags. I asked one American Airlines woman who was helping to get people into the correct line two times where we were supposed to go. But, I wasn’t shouting, so she just ignored me. I swear I was no more than two feet from her! We pried the information out of another woman, but what she said was half-intelligible, and we had to ask someone else. Oh my!

We waited our turn through the line and got cleared. The desk clerk told us to turn our bags in to the TSA guys at the big X-ray machine. We stepped over there, but they were all talking amongst themselves, and the completely ignored us. Then, I shouted, “What do we do here?” Let me tell ya, they wait until you get mad in Miami before they do anything to help. We were there the day after a Federal Air Marshall shot and killed a bi-polar man who had gone off of his medicine. The guy was yelling that he had a bomb. Probably he was just trying to get someone to tell him where the bathroom was.

We went through the metal detectors along with about 500 close friends, and found our gate. Fortunately it was not all the way to the end of the concourse. We took off on time and arrived in Curaçao on time. By the way, in Curaçao they don’t incessant ringing schoolbells in the jetways. That’s because they don’t have jetways. They have stairs. And you don’t have to yell at someone for them to stop ignoring you. Life is just simpler there.

In the shuttle on the way to the hotel the driver told us that people in Curaçao have a saying – it’s “poco poco”. That means take it easy, if we don’t get to it today we will tomorrow. Now, that attitude I can live with.

Mystery Trip - Oh Wow Curaçao!

Friday morning we get up at 6:00 am, because I’ve been told that we have to be at the airport by 9:00. We have a flight that’s leaving at 11:00. That’s all I know. After I take a shower, I find out that we’re going to Curaçao, an island in the Caribbean. I can’t believe it! It’s a place that has always interested me, and I’ve always wanted to go there.

The Goddess doesn’t remember typing it up for me, but I wrote a semester paper in college on bilingual education in Curaçao. The languages in question were Papiamento and Dutch. What’s Papiamento? Well, it’s a creole language developed from Spanish, Portuguese, Dutch, and English. There’s a whole process that causes creole languages, but it’s enough to say that the languages get mixed together. But, it’s not some Pig Latin, it’s a real language with all the capabilities of any other language. Anyway, I’ve been fascinated by Curaçao ever since I wrote the paper. She picked Curaçao, because Dutch is an official language there. It would give me a chance to practice Dutch. And it did!

By the way, Curaçao is a Portuguese word meaning “heart”. The reason for that name is because the island has a natural harbor that is shaped like a heart. Besides being a place with interesting languages, it’s a Caribbean island with resorts! I’m really thrilled. We’re going to stay at an all-inclusive resort called Breezes. It just don’t get any better.

We get ready and go downstairs to check out. We get our rent car and head toward the airport. As we’re just about to leave Miami Beach, we stop at a stop light. Three little ladies come walking around the corner. They each have on flower print dresses and one of those hair wrap things that looks like you have your hair wrapped up in a towel. All three hair wraps are pink.
One of the ladies stops on the corner and steps into a flower bed which has an automatic sprinkler spraying water up about waist high. She sort of stands with her legs farther apart than normal, and thrusts her pelvis forward. I reckoned that she was letting the water hit her back and was cooling off. The the Goddess says in an animated voice, “She’s peeing!” Yes, she was peeing in the flower bed standing up. We had seen this before in Guadalajara, but that time the lady was at least a little discrete. This one wasn’t trying to be inconspicuous at all! Ah Miami, it’s a complete nuthouse. Just imagine New York City in the tropics, and you’ve got Miami. Everyone in both places speaks English with a hard-to-understand accent. ¡Dios mio!

Mystery Trip – Once in a Blue Moon


We found the Blue Moon Hotel on Collins Avenue in the middle of the Art Deco section of South Beach. As we pulled up in front of the hotel, a guy came out to get our bags. He asked me how I was doing, and I said that I was hungry. The Goddess asked him if he knew of any good Cuban restaurants. He said that Lario’s was close and excellent. He also told us that it is owned by Gloria Estefan. Okay.

We went in the Blue Moon and walked up to the front desk. The Goddess said we had reservations, and gave our name. The clerk, a red-headed woman with a strong Spanish accent, said that she didn’t have us down on the list. The Goddess explained that she had already paid for the room and that she made the reservation through Travelocity. Still didn’t impress the clerk. The clerk said that she had a room, but that it had twin beds. Now, remember the Goddess was already pissed off about the car rental place. She asked if she could use a phone and they let her use the bellhop’s phone.

The result was not pretty. Some poor sucker at Travelocity got reamed out as only the Goddess can do it. Anyway, Travelocity called the Blue Moon while the Goddess waited on hold. That was a sight – the Goddess on one side of the lobby holding the phone while the clerk is on the phone to Travelocity on the other side. The clerk had to get the manager to come speak with them. I was sitting about half way between them, and could hear both conversations. When all was said and done (which was a lot), we took the room with twin beds.

We went to Lario’s and saw some of the beautiful people. We saw some not-so-beautiful people too. They have tables outside and inside. We sat outside and watched the parade of people pass by. I kept getting the feeling that we were among some shadowy South American exiles plotting coup d’etats with rogue CIA agents.

We got back to the room so exhausted from the travel that we pretty much went right to sleep.

Mystery Trip - Miami, South Beach, and One Pissed-Off Goddess



We arrived in Miami at about 4:30 or so. The change of planes in Atlanta went smoothly. In fact, as we walked up to the gate a young blonde woman was talking to the gate agents. I heard one of the agents say, "Oh, we have a celebrity then! Which magazine cover are you going to be on?" The blonde said, "Playboy, next month." The agent said, "Oh." The Playmate said, "Yeah, people always do that when I say Playboy." She said she had been to the Playboy Mansion, and that all the girls there hated her.

But, back to Miami. We found our luggage in the American Airlines unclaimed baggage office. The bags did beat us there! We began looking for the EZ Car Rental desk. Hmmm...don't see it right here. Those free phones that the Chamber of Commerce locates in airports didn't have any car rental services listed, just hotels. We didn't have a phone number for EZ, so we asked a few people. One woman said that they might be on the upper floor, because she thought one was up there, but she couldn't be sure. The print-out that she had said to go to the EZ counter. The Goddess got on the phone with Travelocity (who she booked through), who had to conference in EZ Car Rental. While she was waiting for all that to happen, I went upstairs to see if it was up there. I saw two Transportation Safety Administration workers talking, so I went up and asked if they knew where EZ Car Rental was. They both said, "Yeah, downstairs, by the baggage claim." I said, "No, I've already looked there." They said that no car rental desks were on that floor. Then one of them said, "I guess it's not so EZ after all!" That's our TSA at work.

When I got back downstairs the Goddess said that the rental desk is in the Embassy Suites, and we have to take the Embassy Suites Shuttle. We went out to the driveway, and waited for the shuttle. I arrived pretty quickly, and off we went to the rental desk. We got a Ford Focus and the threat of paying $4.99 per gallon of gas, if we didn't bring it back full of gas. Off we went to Miami Beach (South Beach to be exact) in search of the Blue Moon Hotel

Mystery Trip - Ice, Ice, Baby



Yes, there was ice. The Mystery Trip started on Thursday, December 8, 2005 at 3:30 am. You read it right, 3:30 am. We got up early so that we could be at the airport at 7:00 to check in for a 9:00 flight. The trouble was that during the night we had sleet and freezing rain, so the bridges were iced over. The roads themselves were okay, actually, it was the bridges. We left home about 4:30, and drove very slowly to the airport. We got there, checked the bags, and went to the snack bar for some breakfast. It was just after 6:00 at this point.

We went to the gate, and waited. The Goddess went to the desk and asked about making our connecting flight. The man there said that we would be delayed and would miss our connection in Dallas. All the other flights from Dallas to XXXX were full and we couldn't get there. So the Goddess arranged for us to switch to Delta and change planes in Atlanta. Since our bags were already checked on American, they would stay on American. While the Goddess was explaining this to me she slipped and said that our bags would be in Miami by the time we got there. I said, "You just told me!" It wasn't too bad though, because I already knew it would be a warm place.

We went to Gate 4 and waited. We waited some more. Finally, they decided to start letting people board the plane. Right after they let 1st class board the alarm bell started ringing in the Jetway. Now this was the kind of bell that I had in school so many years ago. It was very loud, and very uninterrupted. I sat in my seat with my fingers in my ears while the staff started to work on it. After what seemed like two straight minutes of ringing, they turned it off. Then every minute or so they would try it to see if they had fixed it - they hadn't. So, we kept getting this bell ringing for about 15 minutes. Finally the cut the wire or something, because it stopped.

We boarded the plane only to find out that we had to de-ice. See, the entire plane was covered in about 1/4 of an inch of ice. The pilot told us the de-icing truck would be there momentarily. Twenty minutes later the captain told us that the de-icing truck was having some trouble with getting the mixture just right, but that they would be over to us in about 10 minutes. Half an hour later, he apologized profusely, and said that it should just be a few more minutes. Another half hour and he told the flight attendants to pass out drinks and snacks. He even came into the cabin and went throughout the plane to answer questions. He returned to the flight deck, and waited some more. We wound up waiting 3 1/2 hours on that plane waiting for the de-icing truck! I was afraid the toilets were going to back up.

We left for Atlanta about 11:30. I don't know when our bags left for Dallas, but I'll bet they beat us to Miami.

Is It a Bird? Is It a Plane?

No, it's Apophis! Yes, it's the killer asteroid. Just like the one that took out the dinosaurs. It's scheduled to arrive around Easter in 2036, but it won't be until 2029 that we even know for sure, if it will hit Earth. By then, it'll be too late to do anything about it. Maybe it's the Second Coming.

Oh, Ayman, I Love It When You Lecture Me


Tell me, Ayman, how bad I've been. Oooh, I love it! Tell me how naughty I've been. Oooh, say it again! Oh, Ayman, I just love that little hole in your forehead! If I'm good, can I touch it?

Mystery Travel

For my 55th birthday my wife, the Goddess, is giving me a surprise. It involves travel, but I don’t know yet where to. I received my first clue yesterday. I have a list of things to pack which includes my sense of adventure, and we are to be at the airport at 5:00 am. Yes, that’s 5:00 in the morning. She explained the early time as having to be at the airport 2 hours in advance. That implies an international flight, and one of the items on my list to pack is a passport.

However, that could all be false clues. She also told me that I won’t really know where I’m going until Friday. To me that means that wherever we go Thursday is not the final destination. The list of things to pack does not include a suit. Now, if you’re traveling on a cruise ship, you’d need a suit. The list does include sandals, swim suit, T-shirts, slacks, tie, dress shirt, dress shoes. So, I’m genuinely unsure of anything.

This afternoon I asked her if they speak a language that I know where we’re going. She wouldn’t answer that one. But, considering that English and Spanish are the main languages in this hemisphere, even if she had said yes it wouldn’t tell me much. More will be revealed.

Timberrr!

Saturday I went to the Home Depot to buy a Christmas tree. It was about 87 degrees and sunny. I shopped for a tree in shorts, t-shirt, and sandals. There is something wrong with that from the get-go.

We decorated the tree on Saturday evening while corralling a 2-year-old who delighted with the lights, the ornaments, and all the knick-knacks. “No, no, don’t go behind the tree. Don’t touch the lights, they’ll burn you. No you can’t play with the porcelain Santa Clause. Here’s a stuffed penguin on skis. Here let’s put that Mickey Mouse high up on the tree.”

Sunday afternoon everyone came to our house for my birthday celebration. My birthday is not December 4th. It’s December 10th, but we’re leaving town on Thursday for a trip to somewhere that is a secret. That’s another story. We were sitting and talking when the tree started to slowly lean toward the center of the room. It was obvious that it was falling right on top of Jennifer, and the Goddess and I were too far across the room to catch it. All we could do was yell “aaiiee!” I jumped up to try to catch it, but it crashed onto Jennifer and the floor before I could reach it. Glass, water, needles from the tree, all everywhere.

I set the tree upright, but the damage was done. Jennifer got a scratch, but fortunately it was light. We swept, wiped up water, tightened the base on the tree, and re-hung the unbroken ornaments. The 2-year-old witnessed it all, but was not the cause. The two dogs were outside, so they were blameless. We don’t exactly know why it fell just then, but I’m thinking it was the Ghost of Christmas Past.

Tears of Blood

A statue of the Virgin Mary is crying red tears in a Catholic church in Sacramento, California. It's not what you think! She's not crying for the sins of the world, no, she crying for the mess Arnold Schwarzenegger has made by being the Governor.

El Preservativo Argentino



En conmemoración del Día Mundial Contra el SIDA el gobierno de la ciudad de Buenos Aires en la República Argentina se metió la verga...ehr...el obelisco en el centro de la ciudad en un preservativo. ¡Nada menos de un preservativo de color rosa! ¡Imagínate si se metiera el monument Washington en un preservativo! Una pesadilla por seguro de los Talibanes Americanos.

We Don’t Need ‘Em

We don’t need no one-eyed Mullah
Tellin’ us how to live
We don’t need no turban-wearin’ sheikh
Demandin’ that we give
We don’t need no hook-handed imam
Sayin’ we should forgive

(chorus)
Naw, we don’t need no hypocrite believers
We got plenty of our own
Naw, we don’t need no truth deceivers
Preachin’ bullshit from the throne

We don’t need no Bible-thumpin’ convict
Talkin’ ‘bout how we done wrong
We don’t need no latter day prophet
Singin’ us the money givin’ song
We don’t need no money-grubbin’ lawyer
Makin’ us out to be his pawns

(chorus)
Naw, we don’t need no hypocrite believers
We got plenty of our own
Naw, we don’t need no truth deceivers
Preachin’ bullshit from the throne

We don’t need no blood-stained surgeon
Pointin’ out our faults
We don’t need no one-legged butcher
Sayin’ how the battle is fought
We don’t need no cross-dressin’ Crown Prince
With a lesson he thinks should be taught

(chorus)
Naw, we don’t need no hypocrite believers
We got plenty of our own
Naw, we don’t need no truth deceivers
Preachin’ bullshit from the throne

We don’t need no born-again Christian
Tellin’ us when we can die
We don’t need no TV preacher
Rantin’ ‘bout what food to buy
We don’t need no corrupt politician
Smilin’ and tellin’ us a lie

(chorus)
Naw, we don’t need no hypocrite believers
We got plenty of our own
Naw, we don’t need no truth deceivers
Preachin’ bullshit from the throne

Eli, Eli, Lama Sabachtani?

The Church of All Stars in Norway is on to something, I think. Not sure what it is, but it's something.

Iatrogenic Traffic Report

From Wikipedia: "An iatrogenic condition is a state of ill health or adverse effect caused by medical treatment, usually due to mistakes made in treatment."

Generally, it means that what the doctor used to treat the problem actually created a bigger problem. In other words, the cure is worse than the disease.

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving is normally a very light traffic day. Lot's of people take the day off to get ready for Thanksgiving. This morning on I-35 we were just flying along about 60 or 65 mps when we suddenly slow down. I began to lament to myself that on one of the best traffic days of the whole year, we don't get a break because someone had an accident.

We creep along for a mile or two, then I spot one of those TV vans sitting on an overpass with the big pole sticking up to transmit back to the station. Turns out, the TV van with the big pole was causing the slowdown.

So, covering the "traffic situation" is causing a traffic situation. The law of unintended consequences at work.

42 Years

The U.S. president, John F. Kennedy, died 42 years ago today. I was 12 years old in the 7th grade at the time, and I lived in Dallas. It was a Friday, and the first I heard of it was from a kid that would go home for lunch. He was sort of an outcast, because none of the rest of us left school at lunch. He came back telling this unbelievable tale he had see on TV while he had been home. He said that the president had been shot downtown, and was "bleeding from all points of the head." He said that like he was quoting the TV. None of us believed him.

About an hour later, during math class, one of the girls who had left that morning to go with her dad to see the motorcade came back to school, but was very upset. Just a few minutes after that the principal announced over the loudspeaker that the president had been shot and killed.

We all understood that something really big had happened, but we didn't know why it was such a big deal. The next class was spelling, and the teacher was so upset that she opened all the windows in the classroom. It was chilly that day, and I for one thought that was over-reacting. It was cold in there!

Later that day I walked home with a friend and we saw some of the coverage on TV. We also went to the park across the street to play football. I walked home from there after dark, and I remember thinking that it was sad about the president.

My parents and I went to the church that night for a covered dish dinner that was already planned, but the topic of all conversation was the assassination. The preacher's kid and I (another preacher's kid) went to the parsonage down the street and watched TV. The only thing on was coverage of the assassination.

Yes, I remember where I was when I heard. Do you? Click on the # below (just next to my name), scroll down, and click comment.

W's Excellent Adventure

Our Fearless Leader's trip to China has some unexpected snags. Scroll down to the heading "No Exit Strategy."

iCum?

Yes, the iPod and sex toys have been combined into the iBuzz. It promises to be a great "stocking stuffer" if you catch my drift. The iBuzz is an MP3 player and a vibrator in one. It even has attachments. I wonder how it works with Bolero.

Return from Vacation

I was on vacation last week. We didn't travel anywhere, I just stayed home and did whatever I wanted to for the week. The Goddess didn't have the week off. It was so nice to just rent videos, read the Internet, go to see a movie, blah, blah, blah that it's a real downer to come back to work.

In the cattle industry a downer is an animal that has fallen due to some illness like Mad Cow Disease. Well, I'm a downer this week at work. BTW, I saw the movie Office Space.

Oh C'mon Ayman, She's the Least of Your Worries

Ayman al-Zawahiri, so-called right-hand man of Osama bin Laden, has declared that the Queen of England is "one of Islam's worst enemies." Hell, she can't even keep her grown kids from fucking up, how's she gonna hurt Islam? Gimme a break, Ayman! Osama's recent death in the earthquake must be getting to him ;-)

Just a Minute...I'm Holding Up a Bank

A woman with a light Spanish accent robs banks in Virginia, but doesn't want to interrupt her cell phone conversation while she's at it. If she ever gets caught, she can claim she was telling the person on the phone to "give me your money."

I Talked to My Doctor

About Panexa, shouldn't you?

Jackson 3

Michael Jackson has decided to leave the US for good. Good! He feels he was treated badly here. Huh? Treated badly? He got acquitted, for God's sake. What about all that adoration for all those years?

He's also dreaming of a new band made up of his kids. He's going to turn into his own dad, and be an asshole stage-father.

Michael, just go away...a long way away.

Oh Yeah, They Always Make That Sound

Jill Knispel smuggled a parrot out of a pet store in her bra. She planned to exchange the bird for a 1964 Volkswagen. She worked in the store she stole the bird from, and was using it to buy the VW from a friend of her employer. Duh!

Nectar of the Gods?




I suppose it was just a matter of time before Jesus Juice hit the market.

Remember: The Opposite of Everything Is True

Whenever Presidend Bush or one of his associates makes a statement, you can take it to the bank that the opposite of whatever was said is true. For example, the President said, "I'm confident that Harriett Meirs will be confirmed by the Senate," two days before she withdrew her name. Or how about this classis, "Saddam Hussein has stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction." Today the President said during a stop in Panama, "Everything we do is within the law. we do not torture." What do you think that means? Especially when the Vice-President is lobbying hard to change a bill that would clearly outlaw torture. Mr. Cheney wants to exempt the CIA from that law. Haven't they done a great job so far with torture in their tool kit?

He's All Thumbs

He has plenty to spare. Who's that? Hizzoner the Mayor of Las Vegas. He says taggers should have their thumbs cut off on TV. You'd have hell eating a double meat double cheese after that!

Chocolate, Really?

La Repubblica, an Italian newspaper, is not only reporting on the fake document from Niger about the "yellowcake", but also that

In effetti, il cioccolato contiene cannabinoidi.

What was that again?

In effect, chocolate contains cannabinioids.

Cannabinoids? Like what's in marijuana? Whoa! Where's my Snickers?

Lost & Found?

The Senate Democrats "forced" the whole Senate to meet in closed door session to debate the justifications for the War in Iraq. What's happening, have they found their balls after all this time? It takes a Special Prosecutor to give their balls back. That's a damn shame.

Can You Say Coup d'Etat?

Yes, I can. It's koo-day-tah. Way back in June of 2004, Michael Rupert of fromthewilderness.com wrote that we were going to witness regime change here in the US. Granted, Rupert has some outlandish ideas, but this one seemed to have some plausability.

Boiled down to the bare facts it says that Bush and Cheney had fucked the CIA over regarding the ill-fated war in Iraq. He warned at the time that it's not wise to try to fool the CIA. Remember, these guys have been doing regime change behind the scenes for decades. You really should keep them on your good side. But, hey, don't listen to me, check this out. It's taking a long time, but who knows, it just might happen?

Official A & The Artful Dodger

I would be gratified if Patrick Fitzgerald were able to indict Official A. But, I would be ecstatic if he could take Cheney down. Disappointment reigned in my heart yesterday, because I wanted so much more. However, the much more just might happen after all. There's nothing like having your nuts in a metaphorical vise to bring on a Come to Jesus moment.

Watch Out for That Cat!

A driver in Japan ran over 36 kids and an adult trying to avoid hitting a cat. The driver swerved, ran up on the sidewalk and ran down a bunch of kids from a daycare going to a museum. Well, at least he has his priorities straight.

El Beso de la Muerte

Fue apenas el domingo cuando el Presidente George Bush indicó su confianza que el senado iba a confirmar a Harriet Miers. Cuando un presidente indica enfaticamente que tiene confianza en un candidato que tiene algunas problemas con el senado es por seguro el beso de la muerte. Recuerda que el opuesto de todo es la verdad.

Fitz Has the Anti-Christ

Patrick Fitzgerald the Special Prosecutor in the Valerie Plame outing seems to have caught a big fish. Yeah, I'd say so. He caught the Anti-Christ Hisself! Suddenly, I feel warm and fuzzy all over.

Alpha & Omega?

We have reached that unhappy point in the hurricane season where we break all previous records. There is now a 22nd named storm in the Caribbean, it's name is Alpha because we ran out of regular names. That's two firsts...22 named storms in the Atlantic, and the first time to use Greek letters to name them.

By the way, the weather is getting windier in Washington too. Only the hurricane is named Fitzgerald. It's hard to guess which one might cause more damage. I'm just salivating at the thought of another high-level Washington scandal! Oh, Dick Cheney, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

Have You Ever Heard of Prussian Blue?

Well, I never had either...until this afternoon. I was scanning my usual dose of European tabloids (where else are you going to get real dirt?), when I came across this story about two blonde twins from Bakersfield, CA. Seems they are a big hit with the white supremacists. Just check out their song titles:

1. Road to Valhalla
2. Victory Day
3. Weiss Weiss Weiss
4. Our Vinland
5. Sacrifice
6. Panzerlied
7. The Snow Fell
8. Gone with the Breeze
9. Aryan Man Awake
10. I will bleed for You
11. Hate for Hate: Lamb near the Lane
12. Victory
13. Sisters

Their parents and grandfather are racists and Nazis. White supremacists themselves are the best argument against racial superiority! They are the stupidest motherfuckers alive! God save us from these stooges.

He Must Be Registered to Vote

Michael Jackson has received a jury summons to serve on a jury pool in the same court house that he was acquitted of child molestation charges. That sort of serves him right! Let him be on the jury panel and see how he likes the bullshit that passes for justice. Let him sit on a jury for the same length of time that his jury sat for him. After you've been on a few juries (I've sat on three juries, and been called to jury duty about 10 times), you start to lose your belief in the adversarial system that we have here.

Which Amendment Was That?

The USA has fallen 21 places from last year's ranking of 23 in the Reporters without Borders press freedom list. Now, we're sitting proud at number 44. Folks, that puts us behind such long-standing paragons of the free press as:
Slovenia (9), Estonia (11), Latvia (16), Lithuania (21), Namibia (25), Bosnia-Herzegovina (33), and Macedonia (43).

God Bless America!

Okay, Okay, But Where Is the Tape?

A truck driver who filmed the fatal sex with a horse act (see this) has been charged with trespassing on the farm where the "incident" took place. He could not be charged with animal cruelty, because the horse said he actually enjoyed it. Naw, not really. There was no evidence of injury to the horse. Well, hell I guess not!

Six on a Scale of 5

Hurricane Wilma has become the strongest hurricane ever recorded in the Atlantic. She comes in at 882 millibars. The lower the number the higher the wind speed. She's the most powerful, and that's saying a lot! Andrew, Camille, Katrina, and Rita were all infamous, and yet, they were never as strong as Wilma is right now.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Introducing Wilma

Yes, we have a Wilma. Right now, she's just a tropical storm, but it looks like she could be a hurricane by the weekend. What's really significant is that we're out of names for this year. That means if another one comes along, it will be named Alpha. This is only the second time that the named storms have numbered 21. The other time was in 1933.

Another Wedding on the Beach?

I think we all remember what happened the last time a film star got married on the beach. Well, Katie and Tom are going to do it too. Say "I do" on the beach that is. Hmmm...Zellwegger and Chesney got an annulment because Kenny's gay. Well, that's what I heard! Now, Katie and Tom doing the same? Maybe they're both gay!

The World Record Holder



This gentleman from Turkey won recognition from the Guinness Book for the world's largest nose.

Take the L Train

L for Love. The L train connects Manhattan with Brooklyn and connects people too. According to a survey conducted by American Express the L train is the one for making connections of love. Union Station to Williamsburg is the new singles' bar. Well, it is very loud and very crowded, just no booze for sale.

Geen Burka

The Dutch government has established a new rule that women receiving public assistance and making the required work search cannot wear a burka to a job interview. Likewise, they advocate a complete ban on burkas for public security reasons. Now, the Danes are considering the same thing.

OVNIs, OVNIs Otra Vez

Esta vez se encuentran en Boston. Y aparecen en las pantallas de radar en el aeropuerto. No lo crees?

I'm Surprised It Hasn't Happened Earlier

Six Flags Over the Holy Land? We don't know what it will be called, but it's sure to attract religious seekers. Jesus, yes Jesus, is going to get a theme park. It will be near the Sea of Galilee where Jesus multiplied the loaves and fishes. I wonder if they'll have the "Remove the Log from Your Eye" water flume ride, or "Dunk the Disciple" ball cage. There's a lot to work with.

Monarch

The USA is a republic, not a monarchy. But, twice a year here in Central Texas we have monarchs. No, we don't have kings, we have butterflies. The Monarch butterfly summers in Canada, and winters in Mexico. Austin is at the eastern edge of the flyway. I heard today that the flyway is between the I-35 corridor and Midland. I haven't seen any yet, but I'll keep an eye out.

Turn About Is Fair Play

Kenneth Matsumura, a California doctor, has begun a recall campaign against Ah-nold the Governator. Yes, it was bound to happen. Someone does to him what he did to Gray Davis. Pssst...they're just doing it so he can be free to run for President in 2008.

Football Ban

Not American football, but the rest of the world's football had been ruled unlawful according to Islam by some religious authorities in Saudi Arabia. Islamic extremists has issued a fatwa saying that football is banned. Of course, that has set off a debate within Saudi Arabia.

I suppose that American football would be especially haram. And not just because the ball is made of pigskin.

MILF Camps?

From The Counterterrorism Blog article about the recent Bali bombing:

The other cell that has been identified as being part of these attacks is a central Javanese cell that had a very important role in sending members to the Philippines for training. This cell first came to light in December 2004, when three Indonesians and their ASG escort were arrested entering Zamboanga, in the southern Philippines. The group was caught with US$7,000, 10 terrorist manuals, Al Qaeda VCDs and other materials. The four were on their way to MILF camps in Mindanao to conduct training. They also had blueprints for truck bombs on their possession.

It's news to me that they have MILF camps in the Philippines. And why would Indonesian terrorists go there for training, for God's sake? Radical Islamists won't even touch a woman, much less...uh..."train" with them. Just put MILF in Google and see what you get back. I tell ya, I'm stumped.

Prosthesis Thesis

The Ig Nobel award has named winners for this year. One of them is the inventor of prosthetic testicles for neutered dogs. If they guy had invented them for humans, he'd find a big market for them in the Democratic Party.

Where Have I Been?

A suicide bombing in Oklahoma just outside the stadium filled with spectators watching the Kansas State-Oklahoma football game happened without a report on any of the mainstream media. There weren't even any reports on the not-so-mainstream media. This is certainly strange...at a time when unconfirmed reports of an attack on the NYC subway system makes world headlines. Here is a case of someone who detonated himself on a bench outside of a filled football stadium, and we don't hear about it. Authorities have acknowledged that Joel Henry Hinrichs III, the bomber, tried to enter the stadium two times and had a ticket to the game.

Other reports say that large amounts of explosive materials were removed from his apartment along with jihadi literature.

Something smells fishy about this.

Mother & Daughter Reunion - Now I Can Sleep Again

Yes, it seems that Jennifer Anniston and her mom, Nancy, have renewed their relationship. They hadn't spoken since 1999 when mom Nancy published a book detailing secrets about her famous daughter. Contrary to my headline, this is the first I've heard of the spat. That shows you how much I keep up with the stars.

I do have an increased interest in tabloids, though. I'm trying to teach myself to read the Scandanavian languages, and a great way to do that is to read the tabloids from those countries. The writing is simpler and the stories are available in so many other languages that I can always check what I think I read.

God Is Still Speaking

To George Bush that is. An upcoming documentary on the BBC will report that George W. Bush told the Palestinian authorities in 2003 that God spoke to him and said, "George, go and put an end to the tyranny in Irak." At least it wasn't the Devil that made him do it.

He Ain't No Golddigger

New from K-Otix in Houston. Click the link and play the song, you be bobbin' yo head fo' long.

That's an Interesting Pick Up Line

How do you spell back pain relief? S-E-X with your doctor. Oh, c'mon lady! Wasn't he good enough?

Paris Has a Tough Week

Poor Paris Hilton, she breaks off her engagement (or someone broke it off for her) and then this! Paris was in line for the bathroom at Tao, a fashionable New York restaurant, and had to wait so long that she pissed in her pants. She must have been embarrassed, because she got out of line and went out the back door of the restaurant to go back to her hotel.

No Money-Back Guarantee

The poor guy that lost a judgment to his new bride (see below) about his impotence doesn't stand a chance. The company that manufactures Levitra used to have a money-back guarantee if it didn't...uh...perform correctly. Now, they can't even do that, it's against the law...at least in Norway.

That's Gonna Cost Ya!

A bride discovered on her wedding night that her new husband suffered from impotence. She went to court over it...and won! The Court agreed with her that her fiancé should not have kept his affliction a secret. Better get it up, guys! If not, you'll see her in court.

Rita Watch: Advisory 20

What's left of Hurricane Rita (yes, a full week later) traveled all the way to Norway over 8000 km. The Bergen Tidende reports that Rita was to arrive there Friday. She did, but not with as much rain as expected. So, while Rita is in the far North Atlantic, some TWC employees are working seven days a week to try to help with the mess she left.

Imagine by George W. Bush

Imagine, it's easy if you try, imagine George W. Bush below us, above us only sky.

Objetos Voladores No Identificados

El pueblito de Lajas en Puerto Rico ha decidido construir un aeropuerto para los OVNIS. Sí, ¡es la verdad! Un ganadero local ha puesto un rótulo con las palabras "Ruta Extraterrestre". El pequeño pueblo ha tenido una historia de contactos frecuentes con los del espacio. El alcalde del pueblo apoya el proyecto porque se cree que va a atraer los turistas. La pista del ovnipuerto va a ser 25 metros de largo con pirámides para torres de control. Se dice que a los extraterrestes les gustan las pirámides. ¿Qué le parece?

Rita Watch: Advisory 19

I learned this afternoon that my agency will be open each night this week until 7:00pm. We will also be open on Saturday 8:00am to 5:00pm and Sunday 1:00pm to 5:00pm. That's a lot of overtime when we've already had lots of overtime from Katrina.

This time we'll be taking Texas claims for Hurricane Rita. Other states are still handling Katrina claims, and the Louisiana Department of Labor opened a call center today to handle claims from Rita, I believe. There's so many different phone numbers now for different callers that the fraud vulnerability is going to be tremendous.

Lots of things have gone wrong with the Rita effort, but Texas evacuated twice the number of people as Louisiana. We also evacuated our nursing homes and hospitals. Yes, we had a terrible tragedy in Wilmer when that bus exploded, but all in all I believe we did a much better job than Louisiana. Michael Brown blamed it all on Louisiana government officials, and some of what he said is no doubt true. However, FEMA made plenty of its own mistakes and failed miserably.

Louisiana has long been more like a Third World country than like the rest of the US. I have said that ever since I traveled there the first time as an adult. I've been to and through Louisiana about 10 times as an adult. So, to see something resembling Haiti is not surprising. But, that should never happen in America, period.

Rita Watch: Advisory 18

Lines formed today in Houston at the FEMA office to register for benefits. Some people began waiting as early as Tuesday night. Around noon today people in line started to pass out from the heat. FEMA closed the line because it was just too hot for people to be waiting outside. There are new complaints about FEMA and its slow response, but this time it’s about Hurricane Rita.

Persons wanting to file claims for UI or DUA are waiting today between 12 and 25 minutes for their call to be answered. Then, once the call is answered, completion of the claim takes between 10 and 20 minutes. So, in the worst case, claimants may have to wait up to 45 minutes.

Rita Watch: Advisory 17

For those returning to the Gulf Coast another problem has reared its head. The dam at Lake Livingston is under tremendous pressure necessitating release of water. One problem though. The bridge over the Trinity River near the dam has a loose barge against one of the supports. If the water release is too strong the barge could damage the bridge making it dangerous to cross, or even knocking it down. For the time being, traffic on US 59 (a major thoroughfare from East Texas to Houston) is being diverted to other highways. New long lines of traffic and gridlock are popping up.

Right now, the wait on hold to file a claim for UI or DUA is between 10 and 15 minutes. That's the wait for Texas Rita claimants. Katrina calls are going mostly to other states. We don't yet know who will handle the Louisiana Rita calls.

So far, there is no Hurricane Stan on the horizon, but it's early still.

Do You Really Want to Swim with the Dolphins?

The press is reporting that Hurricane Katrina caused the release of several military dolphins. Yes, navy dolphins. They are outfitted with a special harness that holds toxic darts. These dolphins have been trained to locate and shoot underwater terrorists. No, it's not a joke. Be careful, and watch out for that harness.

Rita Watch: Advisory 16

First, let me correct the temperature I reported yesterday. I said it was 100F. It wasn't...it was 108F (43C). That's unbelievable even for Texas! Last week of September and 108? We're dyin' here! All those clouds and water just a few miles to the east.

The in-laws and the 4 dogs left this morning for home. They planned to leave about 4:00am, and they must have done it because they were gone when we got up at 6:00.

There were quite a few cars on the road this morning from the Houston area. How can I tell? Well, they were full of people and dogs and they had the windows down. Besides, that they had the name of a car dealer in Houston or the like. One of the traffic info signs said, "Expect delays to Houston. Gas shortages." Traffic was pretty heavy.

This morning our phone lines are all busy, and we have a 15 minute wait to get your call answered. Not too bad really. But, not even all of Houston is back yet, much less Galveston, Beaumont, or Port Arthur.

I just got a call that told me the in-laws got home just fine. They bought gas on the way home. It was $3.12 a gallon. Cheap by European standards. Exorbitant by US standards.

Rita Watch: Advisory 15

The weather in Austin has been very hot. We've had temperatures of 100F (38C) for this entire time. Not one drop of rain.

It had to happen. Two of the dogs got into it last nite over the water bowl. No blood was drawn, but there was definitely a fight. Then, another dog got into it with the same one. Belle took on Dutchess and had her pinned. They were broken up by the 86 year old man. Imagine that! Then Sandy jumped on Dutchess, too. The home team ganged up on the oldest dog of the visiting team. Pretty pitiful if you ask me. Taking on a deaf and blind opponent is not anything to brag about. But, the match between Sandy and Dutchess was more even. Sandy is 15 years old, and Dutchess is 16 or 17. They're both pretty much deaf and blind. No damage was done except to some dog egos.

With all this going on, Jennifer our daughter celebrated her 33rd birthday today. So, she got a bonus of an aunt and uncle at the party. We all went to Chuy's (the restaurant made famous by Jenna Bush when she was drinking under-age).

Martha and Al are returning to Houston tomorrow according to the plan that the Houston mayor laid out. For residents whose homes are south of I-10 and west of I-45 Monday is the day to return.

Tomorrow is the first day of filing DUA claims. It promises to be busy. I heard earlier today that 9 counties in Texas have been declared a disaster area. I don't know how many parishes in Louisiana have been added, but I'm pretty sure there are several that weren't part of the Katrina declaration.