Ransom Demand: 300 Kilos of Cocaine

The daughter of one of the wealthiest men in the Netherlands was kidnapped from her home in Amsterdam this week. She was freed sometime yesterday. The novel part of the case is the ransom demand: 300 kilos of cocaine. That's a new one to me! The police suspect that drug traffickers are behind the kidnapping.

That makes for an interesting image. Imagine a dark deserted public square for the ransom to be delivered. From a warehouse in the shadows comes a forklift roaring out with a pallet full of plastic bags with white powder in them. The forklift driver sets the pallet down out in the open, backs up, and disappears back into the warehouse. From shadows on the other side of the square comes a pick up truck. A man get out, and looks around to make sure no one is watching. He steps up to the pallet, breaks open one of the bags, puts a little of the white powder on his finger and tastes it. He turns back toward where he came from, and signals thumbs up. Now, a dually diesel pick up roars out of the shadows with ten men in the back. They jump out and start loading the bags into both trucks. While they do this, a woman walks hesitantly out of the shadows from where the trucks came. She seems disoriented and scared. A man steps out of the warehouse and shouts, "Claudia!" She recognizes the man as her father, shouts "Papa!", and starts running to him. He opens his arms and she collapses into his embrace. Father and daughter turn and walk into the warehouse. The men finish loading the bags, and the trucks squeal their tires when they take off.

Not likely? No, I think 300 kilos of anything would be a little too cumbersome for a ransom demand. Hmmm...what was it all about then?

Preston Michael Spears Federline är här

How come I'm hearing this so late? I've been on the Internet off and on all day, but didn't see this until now. Poor Preston. If you had his parents, I'd feel sorry for you too.

Hey, I Didn't Do It! I Was Playing Golf



Don't blame him, he was on vacation for God's sake! Would you rush back to your job, just because of a little water?

Because Animals Are Better People Than People



Donate to the ASPCA animal relief effort in the region hit by Hurricane Katrina. Click on the banner to donate. I did.

Was That Michael Brown's Head I Just Saw Rolling By?

Yeah, I think it was. The FEMA director put in his resignation today in the interests of FEMA and the President.

Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

There's a old-timey phrase that goes - Why he'd look a gift horse in the mouth. It comes from back when people used horses for pulling plows and the like. Back then the buyer would look in the horse's mouth to determine how healthy and therefore how good the horse was. Well, if someone is giving you a horse, would you look in its mouth to see if you wanted to take it? That's the point, your not supposed to be so ungrateful that you'd do such a thing.

Well, we've done it. The US turned back some food rations provided by the German military, because we are afraid that they might be infested with Mad Cow Disease.

Nothing Quite Like a Father and Son Fishing Trip

Nothing Quite Like a Father and Son Fishing Trip
Originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

Who needs food when there's fish like this in the water? Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.

Mexico Invades the United States

Today, for the first time ever, Mexican troops have crossed the Rio Bravo into the United States. This is the first time that a contingent of regular foreign troops have set foot on American territory in the history of the U.S. Only this invasion is to bring supplies to Kelly AFB in San Antonio to help with evacuees from Louisiana. It's one of the few times that the U.S. has accepted foreign assistance. Well, I say, ¡Viva México!

Suicide in Germany Every 47 Minutes

Armin Schmidtke of the National Program for the Prevention of Suicide in Germany reports that in Germany someone commits suicide every 47 minutes. She says that worldwide it's such a large number of people that it's as if September 11 happens every day. As the song from Mexico goes, "La vida no vale nada, nada vale la vida."

Bring Him On!

Bring Him On!, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

Bush was more than ready to land on a flight deck of an aircraft carrier. How 'bout parachuting him into New Orleans right near the Convention Center? I say bring him on!

You Have Been Warned

Sonnette Ehlers in South Africa has developed a penis trap to be used against rape. It's actually a condom placed in a woman's vagina. If she get raped the condom, called Rapex, adheres to the attacker's penis and cannot be removed. If he tries to pull the condom off, it digs even deeper into his penis. When he shows up at a hospital for help, the emergency personnel can call the police. So, it prevents the spread of AIDS by rape, and prevents pregnancy from a rape. Let someone get "trapped" and it'll prevent rape too!

The Perfect Job for Me

The London zoo has an exhibit of homo sapiens on display in it's simian section. They just wear swim suits and play all day. Sounds perfect! Do they have one person sitting at a computer all day reading the Internet? No? Well, that's the job for me. Where do I apply?

Borat Attacks

I had heard that Borat was hitchhiking in Wise County, Texas, but I suppose he got a ride. Now, he's in California.

Nostalgic?

Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear...Chairman Mao rides again!

An Anonymous Administration Official Said:

"What we expected to achieve was never realistic given the timetable or what unfolded on the ground... We are in the process of...shedding the unreality that dominated at the beginning." Don't you like that? Shedding the unreality that dominated at the beginning...how about in the middle and will dominate at the end. Shedding the unreality? Hardly.

Sing Us a Song, Piano Man

Sing us a song he did. It was all a fraud. It turns out the Piano Man can't play the piano, and he didn't have amnesia. He used to work in a mental hospital, so he knew how to act like a mental patient. He's just a gay German who wanted to commit suicide, but didn't go thru with it. By the way, isn't gay German a contradiction in terms?

Who Done It?

Workers in a mosque near Jaffa found a pig's head inside the mosque with a keffiyeh and the name Mohammed written on it. Okay, Muslims and Jews both consider the pig to be impure. So, who would have brought it in there? Christians? Discordians? Atheists?

Honorary American

Honorary American, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

I have the pleasure of announcing that Lord Furthermore has been granted honorary American citizenship. Attached is a photo of the Lord Himself. One problem, though, since we allow no royalty in America, we have taken the liberty of changing his royal title of Lord to his first name. Therefore, let it be known far and wide that the former Lord Furthermore will be henceforth named Lord Furthermore. The word Lord no longer being a title, but his first name.

This action is in line with that great American tradition of re-inventing oneself, a la Puff Daddy to P Diddy to Diddy. Besides, we can make you American, democratic, and consumerist whether you want to be or not, just ask the French. EuroDisney is just a little parcel of red, white, and blue in France. Our red, white, and blue by God!

Notice in the photo how Lord stares to the horizon personifying American wanderlust, as he fills 'er up with foreign fossil fuel. Go west young man! Or in this case, put on your glasses old man! He's really squinting in an effort to make out the visible panty lines of some much younger American women going into the Burger King next door. (Okay, so we do allow some royalty here.) No, there's no thongs in them red states, thank God!

Ever vigilant! See how Lord steadfastly attends the pump as directed by the sign on the gas pump. You know in your heart that he wasn't prosecuted, because Lord wouldn't drive off! Jack off, maybe, but never drive off.

Open road, convertible with the top down, sliding that throbbing stiff gas nozzle into the hot wet tunnel, oh happy day! How much more American could he be? Welcome to American citizenship, Lord, we wouldn't have it any other way.

Death by PowerPoint Ain't Just a Phrase

Yale professor Edward R Tufte says that not only are PowerPoint presentations boring, they are actually dangerous. He even says that a continuous PowerPoint presentation could have been responsible for the Columbia space shuttle crash. He says it makes you dumb.

Norwegian Men Request Caesarian

What? Norwegian men want to have Caesarian sections...uh, no, the want their women to have them. Hmmm...now I wonder why would that be? ;-)

Porn Makes You Blind

Well, ain't that a helluva note? First it's masturbation, then Viagra, and now it's porn! Well, okay, porn won't make you blind quite the same way the other two will (said by someone with severe myopia). It "confuses" you so that you can't pick out a picture of a certain building, if there's a porn picture in the stack close to it. Someone in the US (that means with an ax to grind) tested volunteers to see of they could pick out a photo of a specific building from a stack of a hundred or so photos. The test really was to see if they could pick it out after having seen a porn photo shortly before. I wonder if handling the photos makes hair grow on your palms.

Well, It's Not a Completely Bad Thing, Is It?

More and more Brits are drinking themselves to death. Alcohol that is. In England and Wales deaths from cirrhosis of the liver or alcohol poisoning have risen by 18.4%. In the North England region of Yorkshire and Humber the rates have increased by 46.5%. Sounds bad, but just think, it's mostly those football hooligans. Not so bad after all, huh?

I Heard It from Dan Savage

But, it's not a joke. A man died after having sex with a horse. No, the horse didn't kick him, the horse, uh, well, fucked him to death. Really. Click the link.

But Can She Sing Happy Birthday, Mr. President?

Sherri Lea Laird is Marilyn Monroe reincarnated. Okay, so who's the reincarnation of my grandmother? I'd much rather talk to her.

Insurance Against Senility?

A study of monolingual and bilingual individuals shows that the bilinguals suffer less from senile dementia than monolinguals. ¿Muy interesante, no?

Foot Size + 5 cm Divided by Two

Russian researchers have discovered that you can tell how big a man's dick is by the size of his foot. Measure the length of his foot in centimeters, add 5, then divide by two. The formula works for 90% of men. Of course, you could just put on clown shoes to impress people.

Okay, Mike, but No Biting

Mike Tyson has run out of money. So, he's turning to his skills as an actor to get out of debt. Huh? Actor? Well, uh, yeah, actor. See, he's going to become a porn star under the stage name of "Iron Mike." What's he gonna do when he get 'em in the clinch? No biting, Mike, no biting.

Just Blame It on the Viagra

Rafael Palmeiro has been suspended from Major League baseball because of steroid use. He testified in Congress that he has "never used steroids. Period." Even today he says, "I have never intentionally used steroids. Never. Ever. Period." He claims not to know how steroids got into his body. Well, he has been on TV as a pitch (get it?) man for Viagra. Maybe that's how! Wait a minute! I get it, he unintentionally used them. Well, that's okay then.

Michael's Latest Album a Big Flop

Yes, it was bound to happen. Michael Jackson's comeback is more like a go-away. His latest album The Essential Michael Jackson sold only 8000 copies in the USA in its first week. Just move to Berlin, Michael, and leave us alone.

Free Admission for the Naked

The Leopold Museum in Vienna has a summer special. If you show up naked at the entrance, you get in free.

Fuck Me Pumps Cause Schizophrenia

Hey, I ain't makin' this up. A Swedish researcher, Jarl Flensmark,has published a paper in Medical Hypotheses that the advent of high heels coincides with the first reported cases of schizophrenia. He goes even further to point out that the mass production of high heel shoes is followed by higher rates of schizophrenia. This happened in Massachusetts where mass production of shoes began, and the same pattern shows up when mass production spread to Europe. Who knew?

Chewable Viagra

I hadn't heard of this new way to take Viagra, but here it is. They say there's this "problem" in Argentina, because younger men are taking it for recreational reasons. So? Like there's some other reason for sex? Okay, okay, that's how we procreate, but if it weren't for the fun part of it we would have gone extinct eons ago. Bring 'em on!

41 or 46 Samples Contained Cocaine

The toilets in the European Parliament building have traces of cocaine on them. So says German professor Fritz Sörgel. He's done similar studies on public restrooms around Europe. He found 80% of the toilets in the Bundestag in Berlin had cocaine traces, and that 90% in Brussels did. The Parliament's response was to call the testing an "invasion of privacy" and threaten legal action.

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised...It Will Be Marketed

Step right up, folks, get your Che Guevara T-shirt, your Che herbal tea, and your Che coat from the Burlington Coat Factory. Don't believe me? Just take at look at this!

Mi Segunda Patria

In Latin America they have this concept of the 2nd Homeland. I guess it started with the Spaniards whose homeland was Spain, but their American colony was their segunda patria. Anyway, Mexico is mine. There's something so...uh...Mexican about it. Hard to put into words, but here's one example.

Zach and I went to Chichen Itza on Tuesday. It's a lot different now. This was my 4th time there. They have some of the things fenced off so you can't get on them or touch them. You can still climb El Castillo, but you can't get on that monument to the warriors (whatever it's called). Parts of the Ball Court are off limits too. The first time we went in about '87 you could crawl into places they had opened up back in the woods. That's where I got the rock that I brought home. Part of the Patrimony of Mexico, and I took it, but, hey, I can't find it anymore, so I guess it serves me right.

Of course, it wouldn't be Mexico without some bathroom problem. The bus we took from Progreso to Chichen Itza has a bathroom. It's this little box like thing right by the rear door. You go down the steps to get into it. The catch was that the lock didn't work, so the door swung open if you didn't hold it, and the light inside the little box didn't work. You had to go by feel. I know 'cause I had to use it. Later on this kid, a boy about 10, went to use it. He asked me how you turn on the light and I said you don't. His mom and sister thought it was all very funny. Then I told all of them about peeing in a coke bottle in the back of a bus in Dolores Hidalgo, and throwing it out the window. The two kids were just flabbergasted. I can't describe the look on their faces, but they were just stunned. Their mother thought it was funny. I love Mexico!

The Cruise Is Over

Had a great time. Saw Chichen Itza for my fourth time, went to Cozumel for the first time (if you don't count landing and taking off at the Cozumel airport), and Belize City for the first and hopefully last time.

Some photos soon.

99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall

Okay, we all know that Leonardo DiCaprio was recently attacked by a woman with a beer bottle. The attack came close to killing him. What we didn't know was that the "party" he was attending during the attack was an orgy. No, I'm not making it up. For as reliable as See and Hear is, somebody probably made it up. But, what if it's true? Giselle Bundchen at an orgy?

Elation

Going on vacation! On a cruise no less. We'll be stopping in Progreso, Yucatan, Cozumel, Quintana Roo, and Belize. I'll be taking the 14 yr old grandson on a little bus excursion to Chichen Itza. After that I may not be up to doing much else. We leave Sunday and return the following Sunday. Who knows, something really interesting might happen...or not.

Say It Ain't So

Tom Cruise has asked for Katie Holmes' hand in marriage. Wait a minute! Isn't there an international campaign against pedophiles going on right now?
Mercy me.

I'm Shocked, Shocked...

Here's an example of a master at work. Mark Felt, who was Deep Throat, was twice put in charge of investigations to find out who was Deep Throat. He was so sly that he speculated the leaker probably was in the FBI. This guy had balls! Plus he was really mad. Nixon had passed him over for the head job at the FBI once J. Edgar Hoover quit wearing dresses for good. Don't fuck with a smart bureaucrat, you'll be holding you head in your own hands wondering what happened.

Not Guilty

Ten counts...not guilty...not guilty...not guilty...not guilty...not guilty...not guilty...not guilty...not guilty...not guilty...not guilty...not guilty...not guilty...not guilty...not guilty.

Judge Has Verdict in His Hand

Now, the judge is looking at the verdict. Court clerk will read it aloud.

Jury in the Court Room

The 8 women and 4 men are in the court room. Judge in place. Oh, oh, oh...

Michael's in the Court Room

Michael's entourage has arrived. Even LaToya has arrived. Oh my, I just can't stand the tension! No announcement yet...

Oh, I'm Just on Needles and Pins

I heard that the Michael Jackson jury has a verdict! Live feed at 1:45pm PDT. Can you feel the electricity in the air? Nah, I can't either.

Oh Those Germans!

Ya know, they're always thinking. When the World Cup comes to Germany, the city of Dortmund will have special "sex-garages" for the hookers and customers to use. It helps keep things under control better than just letting the whores roam the streets. How Germanic!

300 Orgasms per Day

No, it's not me, but I wish it was! Michelle Thompson "suffers" from the disorder called Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS). Yes, it causes her to have orgasms all day long. Can you get that in a bottle?

Garganta Profunda

Well, finally, we know who Deep Throat was and is. I must say I'm glad I found out. Glad I lived long enough to know. It was just one of those things that always fascinated me. I don't know why exactly, it just did. Now, that leaves just a few questions unanswered: Who Killed Kennedy, Who Really Killed Marilyn Monroe, What Happened at Roswell, Just Who's at Area 51, Where Is Osama bin Laden, Who Was Behind the Assassination of Luis Donaldo Colosio...

Dude, Where's My Ear?

A British mother of two lost her left ear while drying her hair. A couple of months before she had undergone plastic surgery to make her ears not stick out so much. Uh, I think it worked! Now, it won't stick out at all.

Yes, It Has Come to That

Wanna be a blogger without having to do any writing. Well, here's the answer - autoblogger. Why bother with all that thinking? Is it him or is it Memorex? Only her hairdresser knows for sure.

For God So Loved the World...

Taken from Harper's Weekly Review.

a man in Holland was being tried on charges that he killed his mother, skinned her, dressed up in her skin, and then went out to direct traffic and recite Bible verses. “He loved her so much,” said his lawyer.

Apocalypse Tomorrow

Not really, but it will probably sound like it. I received the following email from the Business Operations Director:

Please be advised that a 21 gun salute honoring soldiers killed in action will take place on Thursday, May 26, at 11:30 am. We have been advised that the Honor Guard will be utilizing 40 mm cannons on the Capitol Grounds, which will obviously be quite loud. This e-mail is being sent to all State Office staff to eliminate staff calls and concerns regarding the event’s noise.

Um...Do They Make These for Men?

They're called Passion Pants, and they caused a British woman to faint in the supermaket. Yes, they're panties with a built-in vibrating dildo. Oh yeah.

Nearly 80 Horses Given Viagra

What?! They're giving horses Viagra? Yes, some 80 racing horses in Italy were given Viagra to "raise their performance capacity." What are they trying to get them to do? Something unnatural no doubt.

Dead? What Dead?

The government of Uzbekistan has denied that any civilians were killed in Friday's disturbance. Eyewitnesses say 745 people were massacred by troops. Hmm...who ya gonna believe? A heavy-handed dictatorship or people that were there?

Dia do Orgasmo

Yes, today is Orgasm Day in Esperantina, Brazil. Hmm...Esperantina, something to do with Hope, I believe.

Don't Put That in Your Ass, You Don't Know Where It's Been!

Some patients in Den Haag underwent some procedures with "dirty endoscopes." That means the garden-hose-like thing that the doctors shoved up their asses weren't disinfected. So, now they're all having to be checked for Hepatitis C, Aids, etc. When did you have your last colonoscopy? Well, that's too long.

Sounds Like He's Talking about Us

Gunter Grass, the so-called "Conscience of Germany", has a strong criticism of capitalism and its effect on democracy. He's talking about Germany, but it applies to the United States as well.

Hey, Fella, You Need a Tow?

A Polish man's car was stopped on the Autobahn in Germany, when a German driver asked him if he needed a tow. He answered "yes" but shouldn't have. The German connected the two cars, and proceeded to pull the Polish guy's car at the speed of 160 kph. That would be about 99 miles an hour. They were supposed to stop at the next exit, but they just kept going and going. When the German finally stopped, the Polish guy's car was a total wreck. It only needed some coolant in the first place. Beware of Germans bearing gifts.

Bin Laden Bin Dyin'

A website close to Al-Qaeda reports that Osama Bin Laden is dead. Of course, it couldn't be confirmed. By the way, who would confirm it anyway? Likewise, it wasn't reported when he died.

Ve Haf Vayz to Get Yur Money

Several cities in Germany have introduced a new sex tax. Bars, clubs, etc that employ "sex workers" must now pay a tax. Some cities base the tax on square meters the businesses occupy, and some just tax the sex workers. How would that work in the U.S.? Hmmm...we'd have to legalize prostitution first...

Mohammed's Radio

Mohammed's Radio, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

The Taliban is back on the air. Don't it make you wanna rock 'n roll? All night long, Mohammed's Radio.

Benedictus XVI

Benedictus XVI, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

"Ah, nun kann Ich alle die kleine Kinderen heben, dass Ich will."

Don't You Know Her Mother's Proud?

Victoria Silvstedt who is some kind of model/celebrity says that she had sex on a jetski. But did they have on life jackets? Wouldn't be very safe sex in that case, now would it?

Tu Tambien Puedes Ser Director de Porno

Yes, you can be a director of you own porn film. Just enter the contest at sexovoyeur.cl, and maybe your name will be drawn.

The Pot and The Kettle Both Look Black to Me

Pamela Anderson has called Jennifer Lopez and idiot. 'Nuff said.

You Live in Paradise! Stop Looking!

The luxurious Peoples' Republic of Korea (North Korea) has now banned the usage of Korean words used in South Korea. They've also banned videotapes of South Korean soap operas, and other media. It's against the law to dress in the fashion of South Koreans. "You have nothing to eat? Stop whining, you live in a Workers' Paradise."

JP2 Avenue

JP2 Avenue, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

The street in Warsaw named after the recently deceased Pope, JP2, has an unseemly little shop on it. It was there before he became Pope? No, I don't think so.

All Three Down and One to Go

So, now it's all over for Terri, John Paul, and Ranier. But, that's not all! Hey, there's a new one coming on, and it's in Monaco too! It's Prince Ernest of Hannover this time. He appears to be the most fun of them all. He has a liking for strong drink, and is noted for his escapades. Long live Ernest of Hannover!

Whoa! We Got Nuthin' on the Chinese!

I thought we Texans sorta set the pace on executions, but according to the latest Amnesty International report, the Chinese make us look like a bunch of wimps. This is embarrassing!

Ante e posto, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

The FDA has re-approved silicone breast implants after having banned them over 10 years ago. But, my question is: Is the photo on the bottom supposed to be an improvement? It looks like someone tied to overinflated balloons to that woman's chest. Puh-leez!

Update February 25, 2007
Hi Friends. If you like what you see, check out my more recent post.

I Know, This Is Wrong...

I Know, This Is Wrong..., originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

But, did something happen to Santa Claus? This guy is the Pope, for God's sake! Why dress him up like a dead Saint Nick?

Two Down, One to Go?

Okay, so we're down to the Prince, and that's not the artist formerly named that, who has since reverted to being Prince. Death Watch 2005 continues...

Yo, Neo-Con Luv

Yeah, here's a big shout out to my Mohomies, y'all. C'mon giv it up 4 da Neo-Con Luv. Yo, yo, y'all.

Terri, John Paul II, and Ranier

One and a half down, and one and a half to go. After that we can get back to the stuff that matters: Michael Jackson's Trial, Britney's non-pregnancy, Paris's cell phone, Ana Nicole Smith's tits, and much, much more.

What's So Bad About That?

Ten U.S. soldiers have been punished for mud wrestling at a military prison. I think that's a lot better that putting bags on naked prisoners' heads, and making them jack off. C'mon.

Man, He Gets Around!

The Reverend Jessie Jackson has been praying most anywhere there's a camera lately. He's starting to act like Billy Graham. He's been praying with Michael Jackson and offering him spiritual guidance. He's praying with Terri Schiavo's parents. Let's see, what's going to be the next big news story...will he be there too?

I Think They Call That Preventative Detention

Ruben Dario Ovejedo has been in prison for two years in Argentina convicted of killing Pedro Roldan in 2003. It was well known that the two men had had problems with each other, and that Ovejedo had threatened Mr. Roldan. A dead body turned up in the town of Tucuman where they both lived, and it was identified as Mr. Roldan. Only, it wasn't Mr. Roldan. He's still alive. Mr. Ovejedo's family recently found out, and made Mr. Roldan report to the justice authorities. So, what's this guy been doing all that time? And his family didn't know? Something's fishy here.

You Gotta Be Kidding!

The Bishop of Salisbury, David Stancliffe, says that Prince Charles must "repair his offences" with Camilla's ex-husband. He has to apologize to Andrew Parker Bowles before he can marry Camilla. Those Brits has some style don't they? Even though it doesn't show in the Royalty.

Not a Good Comparison

Michael Jackson says he's the victim of a conspiracy much like Nelson Mandela. Uh, Michael, now let's not get carried away. The only way your name and Nelson's belong in the same sentence is to show just how irrelevant you are. Not even a close comparison! What a schmuck.

Billy Idol or Is That Idle?

It happens to the best of us, and it happened to Billy Idol too. He started growing gray pubic hair. So, he took the bull by the horns (so to speak) and shaved them off! He must not have a lot to do lately. Hey, it's tough getting publicity when you're a no talent has-been.

At Least They're Not Having Sex

Studies from the Abstinence Clearinghouse show that teens who take the abstinence pledge not to have sex before marriage are more likely to try anal and oral sex than those who don't. Hmmm...what does that mean? That's kinda like saying you're a vegetarian, but that you eat chicken.

What Does That Say About Family?

De Telegraaf reports that pets are more loved (or at least loved as much) as family and friends by almost one third of pet owners. Surprising? Not really.

One in Three Americans Are Chronically Overworked

One third of all American's are overworked. That's sad to hear, but let me tell ya, I'm a member of the other 2/3. But, hey, it ain't easy!

A Product in Demand

A student in Brazil was arrested recently for selling drugs. Uh, Viagra that is. Yes, he was set up in business with 7000 boxes of the stuff. Seems a shipment was stolen last August. Did he keep any for personal use?

Ultima Cena

Ultima Cena, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

An idea whose time has come. Well, not to "Old Europe", but at least to my blog. Italy, France and Spain have banned its public display. Hey, y'all! We're the religious fanatics! Quit crowding us out.

Nearly & Almost Just Don't Count

Sorry, President Musharraf, but almost catching Bin Laden ten months ago is just as good as almost winning the lottery. Nuthin'! Gimme a break, what are you after, more military aid? Isn't having the A bomb enough? And what about that guy of yours, Mr. Khan, that got off with no penalty for selling nuclear technology? With friends like y'all, we'll be dead soon.

Like a Breath of Fresh Air

A new product is on the market. It's a little hard to describe, so just click on the link, and breathe a little easier.

Ama al Projimo

Ama al Projimo, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

Yes, it says "Love your neighbor as yourself." But, that's a condom in his hand! Does that mean ya gotta use a condom to jack off?

The 100 Unsexiest Women

It's like they say: Someone has to finish at the bottom of the class.

Psst...Hey, I've Got a Plan

A fire broke out in a prison in the Dominican Republic very early Monday morning. They say that two gangs were fighting each other for control of the place, when some of them set fire to their bedding. Some 100+ prisoners died. Of the ones who didn't some were wounded by gunshots and stabbing. Makes ya wonder just how much effort the guards put into regaining control. What I reckon happened is that a guard gave a prisoner a pistol, and let boys be boys. Nice way to get rid of a bunch of trouble-makers. Hmm...now that we can't kill minors in prison anymore, maybe we should think about...

What's This World Coming To?

The US Supreme Court has outlawed the death penalty for minors. What the hell? Us Texans are proud of killin' the young and the mentally retarded! Now they've taken that away from us. Damn! So, what are they gonna do next, outlaw polygamy?

Is That a Muslim Arts & Crafts Store?

According to Daniel Pipes, out of favor neo-con, the "Wahhabi Lobby" in the US is what we need to get rid of. He says there are NGOs here that are giving radical fundamentalist Islam a good name. Where has this guy been? Hanging out with Paul Wolfowitz and smokin' crack? Gimme a break!

But...It's The Real Thing!

Nazaneen Rashid says that the new liberty has only brought "us cans of Coca-Cola". Considering the way we bring liberty and prosperity to people she should be glad it was Coca-Cola and not Shasta.

Anti-Semitism: It's Not Just for Jews Anymore

Looks like the Neo-Nazis have spewed their anti-semitic vitriol in a new direction. But, hey, Arabs are semites too! Of course, not all Arabs are Muslim, but not all Nazis are German either.

Don't Bring that Homewrecking Bitch to MY House!

President Bush has declared Camilla Parker Bowles unwelcome to the White House. The President considered it inappropriate for them to be invited to the White House, because (get this) they are both divorced and have been involved in some recent scandals. I think that makes just about all of us Americans ineligible to be invited.

It's Been a Busy Week

This week has seen the assassination of the former Prime Minister of Lebanon, Dear Leader Kim Jong Il's birthday, North Korea and Iran announcing nuclear visions, Syria in hot water over the assassination, Syria and Iran (as if they both needed more heat) announced an agreement to defend themselves from the US, and it was Valentine's Day for God's sake! But, the biggest news (which came from a European source) is that the Pope is dead and that Osama Bin Laden is actually in the Vatican posing as the Pope. It's true! I know it's hard to believe, but they can do wonders with extreme make-overs nowadays. Although, I'm not sure why a middle-aged Arab with a full beard would want to become an old, old Polack with Parkinson's disease, but my source is impeccable. Take it to the bank!

Speak French to Avoid Delinquency

A new study in France has determined that the reason children of immigrants turn to delinquency is that they don't speak French. What a novel idea! Why haven't we thought of it before? Now, all we have to do is teach the Bloods, Crips, and Mara Salvatrucha to speak French. Pas problem!

Let's Go Guantanamo

A new British reality TV show called Guantanamo Guidebook will have contestants submit to torture a la Camp X-ray to see how long they can last. Bring 'em off!

Deep Throat Was the Pope!

According to several media sources, Deep Throat is ill and close to death. Well, now, just who's been knocking at death's door recently? Why, it's the Pope. Yep, the Pope was Deep Throat.