Marcos Arroyos.com

Yes, a man in China has decided to make the last name of his newborn son Zhao.com. The man's last name is Zhao and he is employed in information technology. What could be better?

Marcos del Col

Starting Saturday, January 1, 2005 the French can select to use either the mother's last name or the father's last name when naming a child. They can even use both separated by a hyphen. But, in cases of disagreement, they will still follow patronymic tradition.

They Caught Me While I Was Praying

Saddam Hussein says through his attorney that the story of his capture promulgated by the Americans is a "stupid Western movie." The truth he says is that he was praying at a friend's house and "I found myself surrounded by Americans without a support force." Praying? I wonder about that.

Remember, Kerry Won The Exit Polls Too

Exit polling shows that Viktor Yuschenko won the second second round of the Presidential election in Ukraine. So, does that mean he really won? Remember America!

President to Be

President, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

"Don't worry, you guys, I have plans for you." - Viktor Yuschenko speaking to a meeting of the Ukrainian Secret Service.

Well, It Wasn't Me!

The Ukrainian Secret Service(SBU)announced on its website today that it had nothing to do with poisoning the opposition candidate for the Presidency, Viktor Yuschenko. Does this shock anyone? Imagine being the top guy at the SBU, and knowing that Yuschenko is gonna with this second attempt at an election. Oooh shit! Time to find a nice dacha in Russia.

A Woman's Vibrating Razor with a "Thicker" Handle?

Yeah, right, a vibrating razor for $9.99 to $11.99. Razor? Well, yeah, I guess you could use it for that too, cutting hair I mean.

Christmas Tree from Mars?

American and Mexican scientists are planning to plant a certain type of pine tree on Mars. No shit! They feel that growing them there will make the planet habitable. But, in the meantime, how about some entrepreneurial spirit? Sell them as Christmas Trees.

Wahhabis and Porn?

Saudis like porn with their religion. Well, at least 97% of internet users try to enter porn related sites. Who said they don't approve of the Western lifestyle?

Mysterieuze Gazwolk Drijft over Amsterdam

Yes, there was a mysterious cloud of gas drifting over Amsterdam Sunday morning December 19. What could it have been? A collective Dutch fart?

No Smoking

Bhutan, a small country in the Himalayas near Nepal, has banned smoking in the entire country. Smoking of tobacco is illegal in any public space in the country. Sales of tobacco are banned as well. So, if you're a smoker, you can only smoke inside your home, and you must leave the country to purchase tobacco products. The government also charges a very high tax on tobacco products brought into the country. And you were pissed when you couldn't smoke at a restaurant! Consider yourself lucky.

Oh, Those Crazy Catalunyans

A Christmas season tradition in Catalunya is the Caganer. That's a shitter. Then there's the cagatio. It's hard to fully explain or appreciate. Just click the link above. Feliz Cagando.

While You're at It...

Members of Parliament in Canada are trying to get women's hygiene products exempt from the national sales tax. So, while they're at it, could they exempt condoms too?

Sushi? I Don't Think So.

Sushi? I Don't Think So., originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

Viktor Yushenko was poisoned by his government. He was campaigning for President of Ukraine and they wanted to eliminate him. They say what changed his face overnight in September, 2004 was eating bad sushi. I don't care for sushi, but I don't believe it would do THAT to you!

Hey, Wait! Sleeping's My Hobby

Arise! Sit up!
What advantage is there in your sleeping;
What sleep is there to those who are afflicted by disease,
Pierced by the arrow of suffering?


-Sutta Nipata

But, Can You Still Get Buttered Popcorn?

Bollywood beats Hollywood to the cell phone market. I'm not sure that's a real victory. Now, you can watch a full-length film on your cell phone. But, why would you want to? Talk about eye strain!

THAT Explains It!

A study of marijuana use shows that using the popular drug leads to increased risk of psychiatric problems. Hmm...no wonder I have a shrink!

Does an Empty Appetizer Plate Cost More Than an Empty Dinner Plate?

Anorexics in Berlin now have a restaurant where they can go not to eat. The owners and chefs are all anorexics. I won't be going there for dinner.

How Much Would It Be Without the Martini?

The Algonquin Hotel in New York is now offering a $10K Martini. Included in the bottom of the glass is a diamond. But, what if you can't stand the taste of a Martini?

Simple and Durable...What More Could You Want?

Yes, it's here. The Grey Sweatsuit Revolution is a fact! And, Baby, it won't be televised.

Exile Where?

You know it's got to be bad when you have to request political exile in fucking El Salvador. Imagine being a police officer in some country and having to request exile in some Derde Wereld backwater like that! Suprisingly they didn't request exile here. We usually like to take in former death squad members, but I guess El Salvador is really the home of los escuadrones de la muerte.

Psst, You Wanna Buy a Car?

Poor Juergen Schrempp, President of DaimlerChrysler, got his official car stolen. It's a Mercedes Class S600. It has a reinforced body and bullet-proof windows. It weighs 3.5 tons. The value is 800,000 euros. I'll bet you could make a good deal on it though.

Chrismukkah

Yes, it's that time of year again. It's when we begin a long season of celebrations. Let's see it starts with Thanksgiving, then Hanukkah, Solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Year, and the biggest one of all Super Sunday. Someone in a "mixed" family, Jewish and Christian that is, has come up with a name for two of the celebrations - Chrismukkah. Just click and learn all about it.

Who?

Ireland tops the list of the 100 best places to live. You mean that place that everyone was dying to get out of about 120 years ago? That place? We even came in 13th! Not even in the top 10. Well, at least we beat the French.

Germans Stink!

That's according to a poll conducted in Germany concerning the workplace and problems there.

It's a Plague of Biblical Proportions!

The locusts are back in Egypt. That was the 8th plague out of ten to get Pharaoh to release the Hebrew slaves. What's next? Passover?

He Is STILL Alive

Really, no shit, Yasser Arafat is alive. There is no possibility witin Islam to disconnect him from life support, so they just have to wait on God. It would be interesting to see a special on MTV of Arafat Unplugged.

Yeah, Well, Tell THAT to Homeland Security!

Yusus Islam a.k.a. Cat Stevens was awarded the Man for Peace Award in Rome. The man handing him the prize was none other than Michael Gorbachov. Funny, wasn't it just a while back that we deported him for being a terrorist?

Ve Haf Vays to Mek You...

Fake an orgasm. Yes, evidently, it's true. A majority of German women say that they "simulate" orgasms. Must be all the leather that gets in the way.

Going Once...Going Twice

Someone, somewhere, has Saddam Hussein's leg, and is auctioning it off on an online auction house. Wanna bid? Go to www.azubo.de. Okay, it's not really his physical leg, it's the leg from his statue that was knocked down by American troops on that famous videotape. But, be careful! The German government is investigating its authenticity.

Make No Mistake

We don't let no faggots get married here in Texas, and we're gonna make that plain to our kids.

Is That Like a Reversible Jacket?

Yes, the Palestinian National Authority has finally admitted that Arafat is in a coma. They say it is a "reversible coma." I've never heard those two words together like that. I think we've been introduced to a new phenomenon. Let me check Wikipedia. No, there's no page with that title. Wanna make one?

Get the Red Out!

Two must-have products for those of us "Blues" living in the "Red" states. One is Vizine to get the "Red" out of our teary red eyes, and the other is Photoshop to replace "Redeye" with a nice blue. To paraphrase Crystal Gayle, "Oh,don't it make my red eyes blue?"

Warp Speed

What took weeks even months back in the '70s when Franco died, and then didn't die, and then did die, has only taken one afternoon today. Just check out this page.

You Say "Medically Complex" I Say "Clinically Dead"

Here's an excerpt from an email I received from one of my "sources."

PNA: Yasser Arafat Dies in Paris?
November 04, 2004 1711 GMT
Several reports, including some from high-ranking European officials, have emerged that Palestinian National Authority leader Yasser Arafat has died in a Paris hospital, though hospital officials have denied the reports, saying Arafat�s condition is "medically complex." Palestinian spokespeople also denied the reports, but specified that Arafat was not "clinically dead."

He's in a coma...wait that's not a fucking coma...that's a medically complex condition, for God's sake!

He's Dead. No, He's Not!

What did I say? It's Franco all over again. The Israelis say he's dead, the French say he's not. But, who can trust either one of them?

He's Doing Very Well...Oops, He's Dead

Yasser Arafat is in a coma according to French sources. Is this going to be another one of those Generalisimo Francisco Franco stories? He's still alive, he's still alive, he's still...uh...dead.

Forgive Us, Father, for We Know Not What We Do

More of the same for four more years. That's not a good thing. America did not deserve what it got after the last election, because the election was stolen. This time it wasn't stolen, and, poor America, will deserve what it gets.

Talk About Jumping the Gun!

Correioweb, a Brazilian news website, has already call it for Kerry. They are predicting 306 electoral votes for Kerry and 218 for Bush. That's out of a total of 538. Wait a minute! What happened to the other 20? Uh-oh, scandal in the offing.

Poor Al Goldstein

Former publisher of Screw magazine, Al Goldstein, find himself homeless these days. The 68 year old Goldstein was working as a greeter at the Second Avenue Deli, but he got fired because he slept there one night. He's so down that another homeless guy at the shelter gave him 5 bucks. When asked if he would do it all over again, he said yes! What a fucking idiot! He wouldn't change anything he says. He must like livin' at the shelter.

It's Election Day and El Dia de Los Muertos

Hmmm...what's that trying to tell us? While we remember to vote, we should also remember the dead. Might the dead be voting after all? Bring 'em on!

Imagine What It Would Be

If we weren't there to help. According to a new study by the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, Columbia University School of Nursing, and Al-Mustansiriya University more than 100,000 Iraqi civilians have died due to violence since the war began. And they tell us we're there to help the Iraqi people. What? They needed help with population control? Gimme a break? We're over there to help American corporations and to scare the Bejesus out of Iran and Saudi Arabia.

Well, I THOUGHT She Was My Wife

An American on a flight to the Phillipines was detained and denied entry into the country after a woman complained he was sexually harrassing her. She just happened to be the Governor of Mindoro, an island in the country. He later said he had become confused and thought the woman was his wife. What the hell was he trying to do, have sex in the lavatory?

Food Fight

Taiwanese members of Parliament get down with a food fight. If only our Congress could get Tom DeLay involved in one!

Now THAT Would Be Something to See!

A coalition of political parties in Chile have asked the Chilean Court of Appeals in Santiago to issue arrest warrants for George W Bush, Dick Cheney, and Donald Rumsfeld. They want them tried for crimes against humanity for Abu Ghraib torture. Bush is supposed to visit Chile for a summit in the near future. Bring 'em on!

The Netherlands Prepares to Invade the US

I was driving home yesterday on I-35 when I noticed a most unusual thing. There was a white GMC Savannah van traveling north with large black lettering on the sides that said, "Royal Netherlands Air Force." Toward the rear of the van was more lettering that said, "Apache Training Detachment." Inside the van were 5 people. Two men in the front and two women in the second seat, with what looked to be a child in between the two women. None of them had on any kind of uniform, except the man in the passenger's seat had on an orange shirt. Maybe that was some kind of uniform (orange is sort of the Dutch national color), but I didn't see any epaulets or medals. So, what's going on? Is this some kind of advance team sent over here to scope things out? Is the Netherlands planning some kind of post-election invasion while were occupied trying to count the votes? I'm worried.

I'll Kill Myself If You Convict Me

Michael Jackson's family is trotting out a story that "The King of Pop" will kill himself if he's convicted of child molestation. Is that what they call preparing the Jury pool? Give me a break!

Pornostar in Campo

Pornostar in Campo, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

Here in the U.S. we always have unattractive male streakers at sports events. Now, those Europeans...

Not Exactly 12 Angry Men

It was more like 3 confused men and 3 confused women. I was on a jury in the County Court at Law #2 in Williamson County, Texas. Since it was a county court, it had 6 instead of 12 members. This is like my tenth time to be called for jury duty, and the 3rd time Ive actually been selected. What have I done to deserve this? Don't answer that!!!

This time I was on a family violence case. It was a 21 year old guy and an 18 year old girl who were common law married. Get this, they had 3 kids when it happened in August of '03. They now have 4 kids, and she's going to turn 20 on Halloween Day. We acquitted him, because there was a "reasonable doubt." The girl said one thing on the day and another thing on the stand. They did not put her written statement into evidence from the day it happened. The only thing we had was her testimony today and the cop's. Anyway, she took the stand and took the 5th. Yes, she took the 5th amendment! She was afraid that she would be prosecuted for perjury or lying to a police officer. She had a court-appointed attorney who advised her to take the 5th. So, the prosecutor had to find her to get her served a subpoena, then she gets to the stand and takes the 5th. They rush us out of the courtroom while they all argue about it. So, when we return she's still on the stand, and is now willing to testify, because she has been given immunity from prosecution for perjury. Which I think she proceeded to commit, but was immune from prosecution. Anyway, there was story A and story B. When it happened she refused any treatment or even examination by EMS, so there was no medical type evidence of her injuries. There were some photos of scratches on her arms and one on her neck, but she says she doesn't remember how that happened. She says she punched the guy in the nose causing him a bloody nose (I believe this part), and that the blood on the floor and the walls is from that. It actually seems more plausible than blood from her scratches. Anyway, it was VERY confusing, and so we had reasonable doubt. After it was over and we had acquitted him, we find out that he is already in prison for bank robbery. He was the guy that was holding up banks in Cedar Park. He had held up several and gotten away with it for a while. They had to get him out of prison to come stand trial on this charge. He has other charges pending on Family Violence. The judge came to us afterward and said that if he had heard the case he would have done the same thing. He just felt there was reasonable doubt.

It's been quite a couple of days! That makes the 3rd time I've been on a jury, and the first time that I was jury foreman. What an honor.

Anxiety, Fear, and Depression

A new study in China reveals that 22% of children there suffer from behavioral and emotional problems. They feel it is due to the traditionalist kind of education, and the "only child" policy in China. No wonder I'm so fucked up! I'm an only child at 53.

Jury Duty

Yes, again. For a few years there while I wasn't registered to vote, I quit having to go to jury duty. I was getting called every year, and sometimes more than once a year. I have lost count of how many times I've been called. Anyway, I got called again. Today was the day. I have been assigned to a jury panel to be convened on Thursday in a County Court at Law. Those courts are kinda like Triple-A baseball. It's still the minor leagues, but it's just short of the majors. Last time, I got called to a Justice of the Peace Court which isn't even a court of record, for God's sake! Talk about minor league!

A court of record means that when you appeal there is a record of all the evidence presented, and it's put under review. But, when a case is appealed from a court that is not a court of record, everything starts over, as if the first trial never happened. So, I was on a jury in a JP court and we found the guy guilty. But, he appealed, and all we did was irrelevant. At least on Thursday, our efforts won't just be for naught.

Hey, He Wanted to Die!

A medical team in Colorado has been charged with homicide for removing the organs of a transplant "donor" before he was actually dead. He had tried to commit suicide by shooting himself in the head, but the medical examiner says he wasn't dead yet. Well, I guess he is now!

New Name for Dumpster Diving

Here it is: Freegan! Are they serious? Hmmm...I'm gonna have to think about this.

There's No Fool Like an Old Fool

Billy Joel got married to a 23 year old. She's just 32 years younger.

Florida: Still the Banana Republic

According to Jimmy Carter, election observer extraordinaire, Florida still doesn't have what it takes to ensure a clean election.

It's Raining Crucifixes!

A 72 year old Italian woman was killed in San Onofrio while walking down the street. A crucifix fell from above and killed her. It had been loosened by restorations to the monument it stood on.

But, But, What If the Prostitute Is a Man?

The US Military has adopted a new policy making it an offense to use the services of a prostitute. The change is an effort to stop trafficking in women forced into prostitution near US military bases overseas. I suppose it would be okay to traffic in men.

Let This Be a Sign Unto You

Hurricanes Charley, Frances and Ivan are God's message to Florida and the South. He did not vote for Bush. Would you call it karma?

Cell Phone on a Motorcycle?

Yes, at least in Italy. Now you can get a helmet with a wireless cell phone built in.

Oh, The Life of a Revolutionary!

The leaders of two rival guerrilla groups in Peru are in the same prison with life sentences. One of them proposed peace talks with the government. Due to that he got special privileges. He gets to have his girlfriend come "visit" him each night. The other one gets to listen. Well...he's heard enough! Now he's complaining that they only let his mother and sister come to visit him. Poor guy...but what did he expect?

SHGb02+14a

Not the most exciting or descriptive of names, but that's the name for the place that scientists have received radio signals from. Maybe it's them!

What Does Don Henley Know?

One of Don Henley's songs is titled They're Not Here, They're Not Coming, but what does he know? They done been here! I was put onto this story by one one those crazy Europeans who thinks that women dressed in the chador are sexy. There's just no accounting for taste.

Seventeen Million Dollars Says Otherwise

Michael Jackson says he's innocent of the charges of child sexual abuse, but his payouts say otherwise.

Barcelona: Nudist Paradise

Oh, I'll be that El Generalisimo Francisco Franco is turning in his grave. The City of Barcelona has approved nudity in public in their fair city. Are they sure they want to go through with this? If the Barcelonans look anything like the folks I've seen in the locker room, I don't want to go there.

Cocaina a la Modificacion Genetica

Researchers funded by Colombian cocaine traffickers have developed a genetically modified coca plant. It's bigger, better, more resistant to pesticides, and gives a better high. What more could we want? Besides, with the cost of research nowadays, who else can afford it?

De Knie Is Fini

Last Monday my wife, the Goddess, went to the hospital to have knee replacement surgery. The surgery went well and the doctor said, "She's just going to love her new knee." I hope she's right (yes, it was a female orthopedic surgeon). The only problem is that little thing called recovery. The Goddess has had hell with it. In fact, she told me that if she had known it would be this bad, she's not sure she would have done it. I don't know what she would have done instead, because she was in constant pain before the surgery. Anyway, she's coming along quite well, in my opinion. But, the Goddess wants it to be over already. She moved from the hospital room to a rehab unit (in the same building) on Friday. She's probably going to stay there thru Wednesday. At least, that's what the insurance has approved.

A question has come to my mind: What do they do with the old knee? Do they "reuse" parts of it? Do they like cremate it? I'll have to try to find that one out.

Does It Improve on Silence?

Before you speak, ask yourself, is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve on the silence?

-Sai Baba

Gunner

Gunner, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

The American Military threatens Muqtadha al Sadr outside the Imam Ali mosque.

Marktadha al Sadr

Marktadha al Sadr, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

Really, I had no idea! Wow, this is kind of embarrassing. Oh well.

Lith..Who?

The US Olympic basketball team has lost to the Lithuanians. Who? What's that some kind of medicine for bipolar disorder? The creator and all time king of basketball is dead? Le roi est mort, vive le roi!

Senator Kennedy a Terrorist?

The Department of Homeland Security has apologized to Senator Edward Kennedy for a mix-up that has happened several times when he has tried to board airplanes in the US. It seems his name is similar to someone suspected of being a terrorist. Nah, it's that the Republicans think he's a terrorist!

Homeland Security Letter

The following letter was provided to me through sources who requested to remain unnamed. Marcos Arroyos cannot verify the authenticity or the truthfulness of this letter. I can only pass it on to my concerned fellow citizens.

August 19, 2004

Department of Homeland Security
Washington, DC
USA


Dear Lord Furthermore:

One of our many duties at the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) is the verification of the safety of the American food production system. Toxic biological and/or chemical agents introduced into the food distribution system could wreak havoc with the American way of life. In an effort to secure the nation�s food supply, we have undertaken a wide variety of security measures regarding this important issue. Of course, we cannot publish the exact nature of these measures, but we can divulge some their general aspects.

We conduct routine DNA analysis of food products, and compare those results with several data bases. A recent comparison brought about an unexpected outcome. In fact, the outcome was so unusual that we thought there had been a rupture in the chain of custody of the tested sample. However, we tested the sample again in a different DHS-operated laboratory, and were faced with the same results.

Our test discovered a match between your DNA and a substance found on some feathers retrieved from a poultry processing plant in the Northeastern United States. Additional investigation revealed that the feathers in question came from the anus area of one of the hens processed in that plant. There was trace evidence of chicken blood on the feathers along with what turned out to be seminal fluid. Such a discovery proved to be quite puzzling to us until we had Dr. Henry Lee, a renowned DNA expert, and one of our forensic veterinarians inspect the test results. They hypothesized that someone of North European descent with red hair had engaged in rough sex with the hen.

In an enlightened and sexually liberated environment such as your place of residence this behavior may not cause consternation, but we wish to assure you that the DHS takes a dim view of this kind of aberrant and unnatural sexual practice. It is within our purview as Protectors of the Homeland to take any steps necessary to prevent any and all deviant sexual acts.

Later investigation revealed that the poultry processing plant had placed a job advertisement for a chicken plucker for which many people applied. Only under hypnosis was the staff there able to recall that during testing for the position one applicant insisted on plucking the chicken while it was still alive. This applicant also insisted that he be allowed to pluck his chicken in private in the men�s room. The rest of the story is too raw and unseemly to repeat. Suffice it to say that when male members of the staff later discovered the plucked hen lying unconscious in the sink basin of the men�s room, they joked that the job posting was for a chicken plucker not a chicken fucker.

Lord Furthermore, we regret to inform you that any future travel by you to or through the United States of America is hereby prohibited.

Very truly yours,
Tom Ridge
Director, Department of Homeland Security

NOW They Tell Me!

The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse has discovered that "We found a tight connection between teen sexual behavior and dating and teen risk of smoking, drinking and using illegal drugs." Duh! I wonder if they would find a "tight connection" between swimming, laying eggs, quacking and being a duck? Gimme a break!

Chatter Stopped

Sources with the US intelligence community have confirmed per Stratfor that al-Qaeda chatter has gone silent. This usually happens just before a big attack, when they've been infiltrated, or when a big arrest has been made. Batten down the hatches, 'cause the shit's about to hit the fan.

Yeah, But the Throat Cancer Will Get Ya First

Rolling Stones star Charlie Watts has been diagnosed with throat cancer. Meanwhile, Spanish researchers have discovered that Cannibinoids (good ol' marijuana) prevent the growth of brain tumors. I wonder if there's a preventative effect? Of course, you could end up like Charlie - you keep the brain healthy, but the throat cancer takes you out.

Blame It on Viagra

Evidently there's been a surge in divorces among people 55 and older. Many factors figure in, but ultimately they blame it on the Viagra.

Banana Republic Ain't Just a Clothing Store

The European Organization for Security and Cooperation has announced that it will send election observers to the US to make sure there's no irregularities in the Presidential election this November. Watch out, a military coup d'etat is next!

Atlantis Found!

According to Ulf Erlingsson, a Swedish geographer, the lost kingdom of Atlantis is actually Ireland. He says that the legend about it sinking below the ocean is actually a story about a shoal in the North Sea that did get flooded in about 6500 BC. Well, my idea is that the sinking story is more metaphorical. The natives of Atlantis (Ireland) had just discovered alcoholic beverages, and drank themselves into oblivion. So, the sinking legend is about their drinking themselves "under the waves" so to speak. Don't believe me? Hey, they're still at it!

So, Ya Wanna Move to Texas?

Well, if you think the weather is so great here, because we seldom have any snow, you'd be right about the no snow. But, you wouldn't be right about the great weather. The forcast high today is 101F. That's almost equal to 40C. You think that's great weather? Park your car outside for 30 minutes, then see if you can bear to touch the steering wheel when you get back in.

Dime que No Es Verdad

Al-Qaeda Chiapas? Al-Qaeda Mexico City, Tijuana, Guadalajara, Monterrey, Juarez? Yep, that's what Raymundo Riva Palacio says. He says they're coming into the US along with illegal aliens. In fact, he says one was arrested in McAllen on July 19 at the airport. He was heading to New York to do who knows what? There's even a Hezbollah group in Chiapas! Allahu Akhbar a la Mexicana!

Appalling, Just Appalling

Harper's Magazine in reporting in its weekly review that British soldiers allegedly mistreated Iraqi prisoners by "making them dance like Michael Jackson." I wonder if they also made them fondle little boys?

Bonkers

They say Bush in bonkers. I can sympathize, I am too; but of course I'm not the President.

Reminisce

Carnival Spirit, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

Oh, just thinking back to that leisurely luxurious cruise we took to the Caribbean.

No Thanks, We'll Just Stay Irrelevant

The Papacy has issued another "Letter to the Bishops of the Catholic Church" about homosexuality and feminism. It claims they both undermine the family. What the fuck do a bunch of never married old queers know about raising a family? And, how can they condemn homosexuality, when that's what about 70% of them are? The other 30% are pedophiles. God forgive them for they know not what they do.

Back from Galveston

Been gone for avbout a week. First, went to Houston to see the in-laws. Went to an Astros game (Astros won), and saw the Bourne Supremacy. I think the game was better than the movie, because the game had several home runs. The movie was full of non-sensical chase scenes that lasted much too long. Chase scenes are to movies what drum solos are to rock concerts. A little bit is good, a little more is not. By the way, while waiting outside the gate at Minute Maid park, I happened to see two Al-Qaeda operatives casing the place. Well, what else would they be, if not Al-Qaeda? Two "Middle Eastern" appearing men, way over-dressed for an American baseball game, standing outside the stadium, but not going in. Then they moved to the curb and looked down the street as if they were waiting for someone to pick them up, but no one did. They turned and began looking at the roof of the stadium and pointing. Then they suddenly walked away. Aha, but not until after I took their picture! I made like I was having the Goddess pose in front of the stadium, and I took a picture with them in the background. Gotcha!

We spent a couple of days in Galveston eating way too much seafood. All in all, it was a lot of fun.

El Poeta Maestro

Marcos, originally uploaded by Marcos Arroyos.

I stand on one leg,
I make the loudness peg,
Your indulgence I beg
As you gaze at my jpeg.

Now, That's the Way to Finance the War

Former former President of Spain, Jose Maria Aznar, paid $2 million to a US public relations firm to help improve his image in the US, and to get presented with the Congressional Gold Medal. Well, he got the medal all right, Representatives Jim Gibbons and Sylvestre Reyes sponsored a proposal to give him the medal, and it was approved. The only problem is that the money went to the PR firm and not to the US government. Let's try putting one on Ebay, and see if we can help finance this war in Iraq.

I Didn't Know Fucking Was an Olympic Event

Durex, the condom manufacturer, has provided 130K condoms to the athletes at the Olympic Games. That comes out to 13 per athlete. Last time in Sydney they gave the athletes 50K, but they ran out, and had to ask for 20K more. And I thought athletes were supposed to refrain from sex, so they wouldn't lose their energy.

Don't Put a Lot of Suds on Mine

Some youngsters in Sweden got sick while attending a pop festival from consuming some alcohol laden soap. There was some soap in the rest rooms with 62% alcohol content that they mixed in their otherwise non-alcoholic drinks. Don't try this at home.

Britney Does Bollywood

Can it be true? After her Hollywood flop "Crossroads", she's going to Bollywood? Not only that she's gonna play a lesbian in an Indian movie. A movie opened last month in India about lesbians and it was not well received. In fact, I believe Hindu fundamentalists burned down the theater where it was showing in one town. I don't remember anyone burning down a theater for showing "Crossroads," but maybe they should have. Burn, baby, burn.

Those "I" Countries Are All the Same

The 911 Commission investigation the attacks of that day will report next week that Al-Qaeda had more contacts with Iran than with Iraq. But, don't blame the administration, because those countries over there all look the same.

So, What Was He Supposed to Be Cutting?
 
A doctor in Bucharest has cut off a patient's penis during surgery, and furthermore, cut it intothree pieces.

Let's Have a Good Cry
 
There's a new bar in China called the Cry Bar that let's you cry in peace. They even offer onions and peppermint oil to help get you started.

Oh Those Wily Americans!

Now this is an interesting take on things! Supreme Leader Ayatollah Kamenei of Iran blames the beheading of hostages in Iraq on American and Israeli secret services. He says he doesn't believe that the people who killed those foreigners were Muslims. You'll notice that quite a few posts back (like two months ago or more) I wondered why Al Zarqawi would claim credit for beheading Nick Berg, but cover his face up while doing it. As a matter of fact, none of the videos shows anyone's face except the victim's. But, they then claim credit on a website. Hmmm...I can't figure it out. The Ayatollah just might be on the right track here. Of course, he might not be too.

Notes from the Underworld

And I don't mean the Mafia. Now you can travel inside a buried coffin. Not the most exciting website, I must say.

We Come From Quebec

A French-speaking (?) seeing eye dog from Montreal is preventing his owner from being accepted into an intensive English course at a university in New Brunswick. The owner had to sign a pledge to give his dog commands in English. The problem is that the dog doesn't understand commands in any language except French, and to try to make it bi-lingual (?) is too late. Can't teach an old dog new language tricks.

Republican Jesus

Yes, friends, he has made his Second Coming and this time He's gonna do the crucifyin'! Don't say I didn't warn you.

How Many Jihadis Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

It takes six. Three to hold the assault rifles, one to shoot a really bad video, one to post it online, and one to behead the bulb.

And Now from the Man Bites Dog Category...

A woman in Iran has given birth to a frog. No, really. At least that's what they claim. Not only that, but the frog has "human" characteristics.

Head Up Your Ass?

According to a new study about Non-steriodal pain relievers and lower cancer rates, similar cells in the colon and brain show lower rates of cancer in people who take NSAIDs. Brain cells and colon cells are a lot alike? Hmmm....