Oh, just thinking back to that leisurely luxurious cruise we took to the Caribbean.
Saturday, July 31, 2004
No Thanks, We'll Just Stay Irrelevant
The Papacy has issued another "Letter to the Bishops of the Catholic Church" about homosexuality and feminism. It claims they both undermine the family. What the fuck do a bunch of never married old queers know about raising a family? And, how can they condemn homosexuality, when that's what about 70% of them are? The other 30% are pedophiles. God forgive them for they know not what they do.
The Papacy has issued another "Letter to the Bishops of the Catholic Church" about homosexuality and feminism. It claims they both undermine the family. What the fuck do a bunch of never married old queers know about raising a family? And, how can they condemn homosexuality, when that's what about 70% of them are? The other 30% are pedophiles. God forgive them for they know not what they do.
Back from Galveston
Been gone for avbout a week. First, went to Houston to see the in-laws. Went to an Astros game (Astros won), and saw the Bourne Supremacy. I think the game was better than the movie, because the game had several home runs. The movie was full of non-sensical chase scenes that lasted much too long. Chase scenes are to movies what drum solos are to rock concerts. A little bit is good, a little more is not. By the way, while waiting outside the gate at Minute Maid park, I happened to see two Al-Qaeda operatives casing the place. Well, what else would they be, if not Al-Qaeda? Two "Middle Eastern" appearing men, way over-dressed for an American baseball game, standing outside the stadium, but not going in. Then they moved to the curb and looked down the street as if they were waiting for someone to pick them up, but no one did. They turned and began looking at the roof of the stadium and pointing. Then they suddenly walked away. Aha, but not until after I took their picture! I made like I was having the Goddess pose in front of the stadium, and I took a picture with them in the background. Gotcha!
We spent a couple of days in Galveston eating way too much seafood. All in all, it was a lot of fun.
Been gone for avbout a week. First, went to Houston to see the in-laws. Went to an Astros game (Astros won), and saw the Bourne Supremacy. I think the game was better than the movie, because the game had several home runs. The movie was full of non-sensical chase scenes that lasted much too long. Chase scenes are to movies what drum solos are to rock concerts. A little bit is good, a little more is not. By the way, while waiting outside the gate at Minute Maid park, I happened to see two Al-Qaeda operatives casing the place. Well, what else would they be, if not Al-Qaeda? Two "Middle Eastern" appearing men, way over-dressed for an American baseball game, standing outside the stadium, but not going in. Then they moved to the curb and looked down the street as if they were waiting for someone to pick them up, but no one did. They turned and began looking at the roof of the stadium and pointing. Then they suddenly walked away. Aha, but not until after I took their picture! I made like I was having the Goddess pose in front of the stadium, and I took a picture with them in the background. Gotcha!
We spent a couple of days in Galveston eating way too much seafood. All in all, it was a lot of fun.
Friday, July 23, 2004
El Poeta Maestro
I stand on one leg,
I make the loudness peg,
Your indulgence I beg
As you gaze at my jpeg.
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Now, That's the Way to Finance the War
Former former President of Spain, Jose Maria Aznar, paid $2 million to a US public relations firm to help improve his image in the US, and to get presented with the Congressional Gold Medal. Well, he got the medal all right, Representatives Jim Gibbons and Sylvestre Reyes sponsored a proposal to give him the medal, and it was approved. The only problem is that the money went to the PR firm and not to the US government. Let's try putting one on Ebay, and see if we can help finance this war in Iraq.
Former former President of Spain, Jose Maria Aznar, paid $2 million to a US public relations firm to help improve his image in the US, and to get presented with the Congressional Gold Medal. Well, he got the medal all right, Representatives Jim Gibbons and Sylvestre Reyes sponsored a proposal to give him the medal, and it was approved. The only problem is that the money went to the PR firm and not to the US government. Let's try putting one on Ebay, and see if we can help finance this war in Iraq.
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
I Didn't Know Fucking Was an Olympic Event
Durex, the condom manufacturer, has provided 130K condoms to the athletes at the Olympic Games. That comes out to 13 per athlete. Last time in Sydney they gave the athletes 50K, but they ran out, and had to ask for 20K more. And I thought athletes were supposed to refrain from sex, so they wouldn't lose their energy.
Durex, the condom manufacturer, has provided 130K condoms to the athletes at the Olympic Games. That comes out to 13 per athlete. Last time in Sydney they gave the athletes 50K, but they ran out, and had to ask for 20K more. And I thought athletes were supposed to refrain from sex, so they wouldn't lose their energy.
Don't Put a Lot of Suds on Mine
Some youngsters in Sweden got sick while attending a pop festival from consuming some alcohol laden soap. There was some soap in the rest rooms with 62% alcohol content that they mixed in their otherwise non-alcoholic drinks. Don't try this at home.
Some youngsters in Sweden got sick while attending a pop festival from consuming some alcohol laden soap. There was some soap in the rest rooms with 62% alcohol content that they mixed in their otherwise non-alcoholic drinks. Don't try this at home.
Sunday, July 18, 2004
Britney Does Bollywood
Can it be true? After her Hollywood flop "Crossroads", she's going to Bollywood? Not only that she's gonna play a lesbian in an Indian movie. A movie opened last month in India about lesbians and it was not well received. In fact, I believe Hindu fundamentalists burned down the theater where it was showing in one town. I don't remember anyone burning down a theater for showing "Crossroads," but maybe they should have. Burn, baby, burn.
Can it be true? After her Hollywood flop "Crossroads", she's going to Bollywood? Not only that she's gonna play a lesbian in an Indian movie. A movie opened last month in India about lesbians and it was not well received. In fact, I believe Hindu fundamentalists burned down the theater where it was showing in one town. I don't remember anyone burning down a theater for showing "Crossroads," but maybe they should have. Burn, baby, burn.
Saturday, July 17, 2004
Those "I" Countries Are All the Same
The 911 Commission investigation the attacks of that day will report next week that Al-Qaeda had more contacts with Iran than with Iraq. But, don't blame the administration, because those countries over there all look the same.
The 911 Commission investigation the attacks of that day will report next week that Al-Qaeda had more contacts with Iran than with Iraq. But, don't blame the administration, because those countries over there all look the same.
Friday, July 16, 2004
So, What Was He Supposed to Be Cutting?
A doctor in Bucharest has cut off a patient's penis during surgery, and furthermore, cut it intothree pieces.
A doctor in Bucharest has cut off a patient's penis during surgery, and furthermore, cut it intothree pieces.
Let's Have a Good Cry
There's a new bar in China called the Cry Bar that let's you cry in peace. They even offer onions and peppermint oil to help get you started.
There's a new bar in China called the Cry Bar that let's you cry in peace. They even offer onions and peppermint oil to help get you started.
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Oh Those Wily Americans!
Now this is an interesting take on things! Supreme Leader Ayatollah Kamenei of Iran blames the beheading of hostages in Iraq on American and Israeli secret services. He says he doesn't believe that the people who killed those foreigners were Muslims. You'll notice that quite a few posts back (like two months ago or more) I wondered why Al Zarqawi would claim credit for beheading Nick Berg, but cover his face up while doing it. As a matter of fact, none of the videos shows anyone's face except the victim's. But, they then claim credit on a website. Hmmm...I can't figure it out. The Ayatollah just might be on the right track here. Of course, he might not be too.
Now this is an interesting take on things! Supreme Leader Ayatollah Kamenei of Iran blames the beheading of hostages in Iraq on American and Israeli secret services. He says he doesn't believe that the people who killed those foreigners were Muslims. You'll notice that quite a few posts back (like two months ago or more) I wondered why Al Zarqawi would claim credit for beheading Nick Berg, but cover his face up while doing it. As a matter of fact, none of the videos shows anyone's face except the victim's. But, they then claim credit on a website. Hmmm...I can't figure it out. The Ayatollah just might be on the right track here. Of course, he might not be too.
Monday, July 12, 2004
Notes from the Underworld
And I don't mean the Mafia. Now you can travel inside a buried coffin. Not the most exciting website, I must say.
And I don't mean the Mafia. Now you can travel inside a buried coffin. Not the most exciting website, I must say.
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
We Come From Quebec
A French-speaking (?) seeing eye dog from Montreal is preventing his owner from being accepted into an intensive English course at a university in New Brunswick. The owner had to sign a pledge to give his dog commands in English. The problem is that the dog doesn't understand commands in any language except French, and to try to make it bi-lingual (?) is too late. Can't teach an old dog new language tricks.
A French-speaking (?) seeing eye dog from Montreal is preventing his owner from being accepted into an intensive English course at a university in New Brunswick. The owner had to sign a pledge to give his dog commands in English. The problem is that the dog doesn't understand commands in any language except French, and to try to make it bi-lingual (?) is too late. Can't teach an old dog new language tricks.
Republican Jesus
Yes, friends, he has made his Second Coming and this time He's gonna do the crucifyin'! Don't say I didn't warn you.
Yes, friends, he has made his Second Coming and this time He's gonna do the crucifyin'! Don't say I didn't warn you.
Monday, July 05, 2004
Monday, June 28, 2004
And Now from the Man Bites Dog Category...
A woman in Iran has given birth to a frog. No, really. At least that's what they claim. Not only that, but the frog has "human" characteristics.
A woman in Iran has given birth to a frog. No, really. At least that's what they claim. Not only that, but the frog has "human" characteristics.
Sunday, June 27, 2004
Head Up Your Ass?
According to a new study about Non-steriodal pain relievers and lower cancer rates, similar cells in the colon and brain show lower rates of cancer in people who take NSAIDs. Brain cells and colon cells are a lot alike? Hmmm....
According to a new study about Non-steriodal pain relievers and lower cancer rates, similar cells in the colon and brain show lower rates of cancer in people who take NSAIDs. Brain cells and colon cells are a lot alike? Hmmm....
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Um, Would That Be John Kerry?
Ron Reagan, yes that Ron Regan, says he'll vote for whoever can beat Bush.
Ron Reagan, yes that Ron Regan, says he'll vote for whoever can beat Bush.
�Viva El Rey!
El Rey de Espa�a hizo un gesto ins�lito a un grupo de detractores. �Carajo! Esa clase de rey es la que necesitamos los estadounidenses. Perd�n, se me olvid� que ya es la clase de presidente que tenemos.
El Rey de Espa�a hizo un gesto ins�lito a un grupo de detractores. �Carajo! Esa clase de rey es la que necesitamos los estadounidenses. Perd�n, se me olvid� que ya es la clase de presidente que tenemos.
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Okay, That Explains Lenin, but Not Stalin
Researchers have announced that Vladimir Lenin suffered from syphillis. That's what they have been calling his "strokes." In that case Stalin must have had rabies.
Researchers have announced that Vladimir Lenin suffered from syphillis. That's what they have been calling his "strokes." In that case Stalin must have had rabies.
Friday, June 18, 2004
Them Saudis Don't Fuck Around
They've already killed 3 suspects after the beheading of Paul Johnson. If they were that quick why couldn't they have gotten there a little quicker?
They've already killed 3 suspects after the beheading of Paul Johnson. If they were that quick why couldn't they have gotten there a little quicker?
Esther
Funny how the lady has had two names from the Bible. I wonder how the original Esther would feel about this.
Funny how the lady has had two names from the Bible. I wonder how the original Esther would feel about this.
How Would You Like That for an Epitaph?
"He was a brave man," said Noor. "His last words were 'Allahu Akbar'."
"He was a brave man," said Noor. "His last words were 'Allahu Akbar'."
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Oh Those Brits
Big Brother on British TV got out of hand last nite. Evidently there was a plate throwing, bottle breaking, furniture hurling brawl in the house. In fact, security had to be called in to restore order. The police and Scotland Yard have opened an investigation. Now, that's reality TV!
Big Brother on British TV got out of hand last nite. Evidently there was a plate throwing, bottle breaking, furniture hurling brawl in the house. In fact, security had to be called in to restore order. The police and Scotland Yard have opened an investigation. Now, that's reality TV!
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
It's Not Just Hollywood
Bollywood is also causing an uproar, or rather the religious fundamentalists are. A new movie Girlfriend is causing quite a stir. Even riots!
Bollywood is also causing an uproar, or rather the religious fundamentalists are. A new movie Girlfriend is causing quite a stir. Even riots!
Monday, June 14, 2004
I Hope They're Right
Researchers says that being bilingual keeps the brain flexible, and younger. It supposedly helps prevent age related slow down of thinking. I'm gonna need all the help I can get.
Researchers says that being bilingual keeps the brain flexible, and younger. It supposedly helps prevent age related slow down of thinking. I'm gonna need all the help I can get.
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Hmmm...This Sounds Familiar
Oh what a circus!
Oh what a show!
Argentina has gone to town
Over the death of an actress called Eva Peron
We've all gone crazy
Mourning all day and mourning all night
Falling over ourselves to get all
Of the misery right
Oh what an exit! That's how to go!
When they're ringing your curtain down
Demand to be buried like Eva Peron
Oh what a circus!
Oh what a show!
Argentina has gone to town
Over the death of an actress called Eva Peron
We've all gone crazy
Mourning all day and mourning all night
Falling over ourselves to get all
Of the misery right
Oh what an exit! That's how to go!
When they're ringing your curtain down
Demand to be buried like Eva Peron
You Call That Mourning?
The Governor of Texas has declared Friday a Day of Mourning, except that State Agencies will stay open with a skeleton staff. No, we don't dig up bodies at the graveyard, we have just a minimum number of staff working that day. But, I tell ya, I just can't believe that they are going to disrespect that great man, Ronnie Raygun, and just give him a skeleton day of mourning! I mean they gave Nixon the full thing! C'mon is that really mourning? NO! We're saying to dear ol' Ronnie, "Well, we really wanted to honor you, but, ya see there's these other obligations we have. Yeah, Dick got a whole day of mourning. But, I'm sure you'll understand (like he could understand anything with Alzheimer's), Ron, that just like you we're conservatives. We want the business of business to flow uninterrupted. Just think of it like when you so courageously fired the air traffic controllers, it didn't stop everything completely, it just slowed it down a little. Well, this is kind of like that. We want to honor you, make no mistake, but like you show business types always say, 'The Show Must Go On!' So, hey, you"re getting a skeleton day of mourning, Bob Hope didn't get that much!"
The Governor of Texas has declared Friday a Day of Mourning, except that State Agencies will stay open with a skeleton staff. No, we don't dig up bodies at the graveyard, we have just a minimum number of staff working that day. But, I tell ya, I just can't believe that they are going to disrespect that great man, Ronnie Raygun, and just give him a skeleton day of mourning! I mean they gave Nixon the full thing! C'mon is that really mourning? NO! We're saying to dear ol' Ronnie, "Well, we really wanted to honor you, but, ya see there's these other obligations we have. Yeah, Dick got a whole day of mourning. But, I'm sure you'll understand (like he could understand anything with Alzheimer's), Ron, that just like you we're conservatives. We want the business of business to flow uninterrupted. Just think of it like when you so courageously fired the air traffic controllers, it didn't stop everything completely, it just slowed it down a little. Well, this is kind of like that. We want to honor you, make no mistake, but like you show business types always say, 'The Show Must Go On!' So, hey, you"re getting a skeleton day of mourning, Bob Hope didn't get that much!"
Sunday, June 06, 2004
Bush Goin' Bonkers?
Looks like he's goin' the way of Nixon. Gettin' a little shaky is he? Just ask his staff.
Looks like he's goin' the way of Nixon. Gettin' a little shaky is he? Just ask his staff.
Saturday, June 05, 2004
Bumpersticker
I was sitting in traffic the other day, and saw a bumpersticker with lots of writing on it. My lane of traffic was moving and the lane with the bumbersticker was stopped. As I creeped past, it saw that it said, "Bill Clinton is no longer the holder of the title of Worst President in American History." I didn't know he was the previous holder of that title, but I must say I agree that he's been beat!
I was sitting in traffic the other day, and saw a bumpersticker with lots of writing on it. My lane of traffic was moving and the lane with the bumbersticker was stopped. As I creeped past, it saw that it said, "Bill Clinton is no longer the holder of the title of Worst President in American History." I didn't know he was the previous holder of that title, but I must say I agree that he's been beat!
Friday, June 04, 2004
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
It Arrived Right On Time
Every year for at least the last 20 years and probably longer than that the temperature in May starts out pleasant, but by Memorial Day it's unbearable. Yesterday, was Memorial Day, and I hear that it reached 100 degrees F. (38 C) officially in Austin. You can always count on Memorial Day itself being viciously hot. Today is just as hot! God help us!
Every year for at least the last 20 years and probably longer than that the temperature in May starts out pleasant, but by Memorial Day it's unbearable. Yesterday, was Memorial Day, and I hear that it reached 100 degrees F. (38 C) officially in Austin. You can always count on Memorial Day itself being viciously hot. Today is just as hot! God help us!
What Two Countries Have the Largest Number of Spanish Speakers?
This was surprising, it's Mexico #1 with 95 million speakers, and the United States #2 with 46 million. We have even more Spanish speakers than Spain!
This was surprising, it's Mexico #1 with 95 million speakers, and the United States #2 with 46 million. We have even more Spanish speakers than Spain!
Friday, May 28, 2004
So THAT'S Why...
The CDC has announced that teens are screwing less and eating more. Hmmm...is that why newly-weds almost always start getting fat right after the wedding ceremony?
The CDC has announced that teens are screwing less and eating more. Hmmm...is that why newly-weds almost always start getting fat right after the wedding ceremony?
Maybe He Should Worry About His Priests First
The Pope is worried about American society's "soulless vision of life." How about the vision of his pedophile priests that they protected for so long? Wake up, old man, the world is steaming right on by.
The Pope is worried about American society's "soulless vision of life." How about the vision of his pedophile priests that they protected for so long? Wake up, old man, the world is steaming right on by.
Thursday, May 27, 2004
What's with these One-Eyed Mullahs?
The British police arrested Abu Hamza today due to an American request. We're going to try to extradite him. Abu Hamza has only one good eye. Then there's that Mullah Omar of Taliban fame who is known as the One-Eyed Mulla. Then what about that cleric, Sheikh Abdul Omar Rahman, we have in prison in New York who was behind the first WTC bombing? That fucker's completely blind! He doesn't even have one eye. Is there some subtle metaphysical hint here that these guys are symbolically fucking blind? I would say open your eyes to them, but that wouldn't help.
The British police arrested Abu Hamza today due to an American request. We're going to try to extradite him. Abu Hamza has only one good eye. Then there's that Mullah Omar of Taliban fame who is known as the One-Eyed Mulla. Then what about that cleric, Sheikh Abdul Omar Rahman, we have in prison in New York who was behind the first WTC bombing? That fucker's completely blind! He doesn't even have one eye. Is there some subtle metaphysical hint here that these guys are symbolically fucking blind? I would say open your eyes to them, but that wouldn't help.
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Now They Tell Us!
Not only did we get sucker punched by the Iraqis, now it looks like we got bamboozled by the Iranians. Things are never what they seem!
Not only did we get sucker punched by the Iraqis, now it looks like we got bamboozled by the Iranians. Things are never what they seem!
18,000 Strong and Still Growing!
According to the International Institute of Strategic Studies, Al Qaeda has 18,000 members around the world, and their recruitment has grown due to the war in Iraq. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot! George, how are you still walking with so many bullets in your feet?
According to the International Institute of Strategic Studies, Al Qaeda has 18,000 members around the world, and their recruitment has grown due to the war in Iraq. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot! George, how are you still walking with so many bullets in your feet?
Monday, May 24, 2004
Please, Please, Go Help Someone Else!
We have helped the Iraqis to over 5500 dead since Bush declared "Mission Accomplished." Don't you feel good to be such a help to the Iraqi people?
We have helped the Iraqis to over 5500 dead since Bush declared "Mission Accomplished." Don't you feel good to be such a help to the Iraqi people?
Saturday, May 22, 2004
Now, The Conspiracy Theory Gets Even Better! Bring 'em On!
Aztlan.net has even more info on the Nick Berg video. It's just a way to deflect attention away from Abu Ghraib. God bless the Internet! The conspiracy theories can travel a the speed of light now.
Aztlan.net has even more info on the Nick Berg video. It's just a way to deflect attention away from Abu Ghraib. God bless the Internet! The conspiracy theories can travel a the speed of light now.
Friday, May 21, 2004
Thursday, May 20, 2004
It Took a Month to Admit It, but Better Late than Never
Barbara Ehrenreich finally said what I've been waiting for a woman to say.
Barbara Ehrenreich finally said what I've been waiting for a woman to say.
Ahmad Chalabi - Fallen from Favor
This guy takes us on a wild goose chase that we paid heavily for, he admits that he was just leading us on, and we still supported him to the tune of over $300K per month. It wasn't until just last month that we cut the guy off from the trough. What the hell is or was going on here? He fed the Pentagon false intelligence about Saddam's WMD just to get us to establish him as the leader of Iraq. We fly him in just after the war started, only to find out the guy has no backing among the people. The fact that he hadn't lived in Iraq for 40+ years wasn't a clue? So, now finally he's fallen from favor. The people in the Bush administration were so dead set on going to war that they just ate up everything he told them. Kind of like getting screwed by a used car salesman, and going back to do business with him some more.
This guy takes us on a wild goose chase that we paid heavily for, he admits that he was just leading us on, and we still supported him to the tune of over $300K per month. It wasn't until just last month that we cut the guy off from the trough. What the hell is or was going on here? He fed the Pentagon false intelligence about Saddam's WMD just to get us to establish him as the leader of Iraq. We fly him in just after the war started, only to find out the guy has no backing among the people. The fact that he hadn't lived in Iraq for 40+ years wasn't a clue? So, now finally he's fallen from favor. The people in the Bush administration were so dead set on going to war that they just ate up everything he told them. Kind of like getting screwed by a used car salesman, and going back to do business with him some more.
Monday, May 17, 2004
Not Enough Blood
Yesterday, I read a post on Aztlan.net that the Berg beheading was a fraud. According to a MD in Mexico, there wasn't enough blood in the video to indicate that Berg had been alive when it happened. I watched the video, and I did notice something out of place. The screams of the victim were not in sync with the video. In fact, the sound of the screams starts when the "killer" pulls the knife out of his shirt. Except, Berg doesn't change expression. I had put it down to being a very cheap video, etc. But, like the doctor says, if he was already dead, then he wouldn't spurt blood all over the place. So, I have to say that perhaps he was already dead, and they just had him propped up there to look like he was alive. The video shows him telling about his family, but it's clearly video from a different time. Things are not what they seem...still.
Yesterday, I read a post on Aztlan.net that the Berg beheading was a fraud. According to a MD in Mexico, there wasn't enough blood in the video to indicate that Berg had been alive when it happened. I watched the video, and I did notice something out of place. The screams of the victim were not in sync with the video. In fact, the sound of the screams starts when the "killer" pulls the knife out of his shirt. Except, Berg doesn't change expression. I had put it down to being a very cheap video, etc. But, like the doctor says, if he was already dead, then he wouldn't spurt blood all over the place. So, I have to say that perhaps he was already dead, and they just had him propped up there to look like he was alive. The video shows him telling about his family, but it's clearly video from a different time. Things are not what they seem...still.
Sunday, May 16, 2004
Rummy Said It's Okay
So, there's a new article out from Seymour Hersch that says Rummy approved the "less restrictive" interrogation techniques developed for Guantanamo for use in Abu Ghraib. See, I told he was on his way out!
So, there's a new article out from Seymour Hersch that says Rummy approved the "less restrictive" interrogation techniques developed for Guantanamo for use in Abu Ghraib. See, I told he was on his way out!
Thursday, May 13, 2004
Mistake
Yesterday, I made the mistake of viewing the Nick Berg beheading video. I found out it was available on a website. I wanted to see it, but after I saw it, I was sick at my stomach. I stayed that way for the rest of the day. One thing about though, it makes you realize what we humans are capable of.
Yesterday, I made the mistake of viewing the Nick Berg beheading video. I found out it was available on a website. I wanted to see it, but after I saw it, I was sick at my stomach. I stayed that way for the rest of the day. One thing about though, it makes you realize what we humans are capable of.
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
I Support [fill in the blank] 110%
Does the statement, "I support Tom Eagleton 110%," ring any bells? It does to me. That's what George McGovern said about his Vice-Presidential running mate just before he dumped him. Yesterday, Bush said to Rumsfeld, "You're doing a superb job." That's a sure sign that Rummy is on his way out.
Does the statement, "I support Tom Eagleton 110%," ring any bells? It does to me. That's what George McGovern said about his Vice-Presidential running mate just before he dumped him. Yesterday, Bush said to Rumsfeld, "You're doing a superb job." That's a sure sign that Rummy is on his way out.
Monday, May 10, 2004
Original Mothers' Day
The first Mothers' Day was actually a protest against war. It was really about mothers raising their kids not to participate in war. What happened?
The first Mothers' Day was actually a protest against war. It was really about mothers raising their kids not to participate in war. What happened?
Sunday, May 09, 2004
Murder & Rape
Unnamed military sources who've seen the photos and videos that Rumsfeld referred to say that they include images of murder and rape. Now, this makes you wonder just where did these soldiers learn how to do that? Some of them are prison guards in their civilian life. But, that leaves some who are just regular people. War not only kills inocent people, it also cripples those that survive it.
Unnamed military sources who've seen the photos and videos that Rumsfeld referred to say that they include images of murder and rape. Now, this makes you wonder just where did these soldiers learn how to do that? Some of them are prison guards in their civilian life. But, that leaves some who are just regular people. War not only kills inocent people, it also cripples those that survive it.
Friday, May 07, 2004
The Higher You Go the Further You Have to Fall
Bush and Rumsfeld must really be squirmin' these days. They make all these claims about how we're battling evil, how we're the noble ones, and then out come those undeniable torture photos. But, it's not like they didn't set themselves up for it. Bush thinks he's been annointed by God to rid the world of evil, and he turns out to be one of the worst offenders. Rumsfeld even told the senators that there are videos and more photos that are yet to come out. He said, "There are a lot more photographs and videos that exist. If these are released to the public, obviously it's going to make matters worse." It's an awfully long way down from way up there.
Bush and Rumsfeld must really be squirmin' these days. They make all these claims about how we're battling evil, how we're the noble ones, and then out come those undeniable torture photos. But, it's not like they didn't set themselves up for it. Bush thinks he's been annointed by God to rid the world of evil, and he turns out to be one of the worst offenders. Rumsfeld even told the senators that there are videos and more photos that are yet to come out. He said, "There are a lot more photographs and videos that exist. If these are released to the public, obviously it's going to make matters worse." It's an awfully long way down from way up there.
Thursday, May 06, 2004
Would You Like Glass Shards with That?
I was struggling to get out of the truck this morning, because my parking "neighbor" was too close to the line, and I dropped Nana's thermos and it broke. So, I couldn't have my coffee this morning at work. I cursed very loudly when it happened, and opened my door real hard so it would put a mark on my neighbor's SUV. Yes, SUV, what else? I had to go over to the Capitol Grill to get some coffee, but even though it's good it's not mine.
I was struggling to get out of the truck this morning, because my parking "neighbor" was too close to the line, and I dropped Nana's thermos and it broke. So, I couldn't have my coffee this morning at work. I cursed very loudly when it happened, and opened my door real hard so it would put a mark on my neighbor's SUV. Yes, SUV, what else? I had to go over to the Capitol Grill to get some coffee, but even though it's good it's not mine.
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
Well, THAT Is Awfully Nice of You
The new US chief of prisons in Iraq, Maj. Gen. Geoffrey Miller, has anounced a policy banning the use of hoods on prisoners. "I believe [the hood] sends a message we do not want to send to the civilian population," he said today. Now, isn't that special? Oh, the hoods were alright until some pictures of them got on CBS and then the internet. They were in use from the beginning until just today, and that's not the message we want to send. Give me a fucking break! How arrogant, what else are we going to decide is not the message we want to send? Uh, maybe illegally invading another country, and killing over 10,000 civilians?
The new US chief of prisons in Iraq, Maj. Gen. Geoffrey Miller, has anounced a policy banning the use of hoods on prisoners. "I believe [the hood] sends a message we do not want to send to the civilian population," he said today. Now, isn't that special? Oh, the hoods were alright until some pictures of them got on CBS and then the internet. They were in use from the beginning until just today, and that's not the message we want to send. Give me a fucking break! How arrogant, what else are we going to decide is not the message we want to send? Uh, maybe illegally invading another country, and killing over 10,000 civilians?
Now, The Real Fire Drill
Last week we had a fire on the 5th floor which was confined to a file room, but we all evacuated the building thinking it was a drill. We had been told there would be a fire drill soon, so we thought that was it. Now, today we have the real (?) fire drill. We all exited the building in a very orderly manner, because just last week we sort of practiced. One hint that it was a drill was there the lobby was full of firefighters when we came down from one floor up. The Fire Department is fast, but not that fast. Like in many places the firefighters are also EMTs, so I figured they were there in case one of us overweight, underactive, bloated government employees passed out in the stairs on the way down. Just imagine trying to evacuate a building full of bureaucrats! Bring out the oxygen mask, Reginald.
Last week we had a fire on the 5th floor which was confined to a file room, but we all evacuated the building thinking it was a drill. We had been told there would be a fire drill soon, so we thought that was it. Now, today we have the real (?) fire drill. We all exited the building in a very orderly manner, because just last week we sort of practiced. One hint that it was a drill was there the lobby was full of firefighters when we came down from one floor up. The Fire Department is fast, but not that fast. Like in many places the firefighters are also EMTs, so I figured they were there in case one of us overweight, underactive, bloated government employees passed out in the stairs on the way down. Just imagine trying to evacuate a building full of bureaucrats! Bring out the oxygen mask, Reginald.
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
50 +1 Ways to Leave Your Lover
"Get out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan"
Send an SMS, Jess.
Virtual breaking up is hard (easy?) to do.
"Get out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan"
Send an SMS, Jess.
Virtual breaking up is hard (easy?) to do.
That's a Pretty Good Idea
Some 8th grade students in the Chicago area gave away laxative laced brownies to classmates. They got in trouble, too. But, that got me to thinking, what about doing that around here? First, there's no doubt that they would be eaten. Second, some of the "victims" would probably be grateful.
Some 8th grade students in the Chicago area gave away laxative laced brownies to classmates. They got in trouble, too. But, that got me to thinking, what about doing that around here? First, there's no doubt that they would be eaten. Second, some of the "victims" would probably be grateful.
Sunday, May 02, 2004
They Can Use the Money We Gave Them
The families of the Pakistanis killed in the fake terrorist attack are suing the Macedonian Government. Let's see, the Macedonians did this to raise their stature with the US as a partner in the "War on Terror" in order to get more money. So, maybe they can used the extra money we gave them to pay off the families. What tangled webs we weave...
The families of the Pakistanis killed in the fake terrorist attack are suing the Macedonian Government. Let's see, the Macedonians did this to raise their stature with the US as a partner in the "War on Terror" in order to get more money. So, maybe they can used the extra money we gave them to pay off the families. What tangled webs we weave...
Friday, April 30, 2004
Now, That's Certainly a New Take on the Problem
Macedonia, one of our allies in the "Coalition of the Willing", has been faking terrorist attacks. I guess they don't have enough of their own, and they needed to make some up.
Macedonia, one of our allies in the "Coalition of the Willing", has been faking terrorist attacks. I guess they don't have enough of their own, and they needed to make some up.
A Sad Day Indeed!
Word has come out that one third of the actors in the adult film industry had tested positive for HIV. The story just broke two weeks ago when one actor, Darren James, tested positive. Now it is positively an epidemic! Some say that now the industry will have to require actors to use condoms. Directors have refused to do that in the past because "viewers were not favorable." Well, it looks like we're going to have to suffer condoms with our porn. A sad day indeed!
Word has come out that one third of the actors in the adult film industry had tested positive for HIV. The story just broke two weeks ago when one actor, Darren James, tested positive. Now it is positively an epidemic! Some say that now the industry will have to require actors to use condoms. Directors have refused to do that in the past because "viewers were not favorable." Well, it looks like we're going to have to suffer condoms with our porn. A sad day indeed!
Thursday, April 29, 2004
We Have Been Sucker Punched
Baghdad fell too easily. The Special Republican Guards offered almost no resistance. Not even soldiers in the bases near Tikrit when CNN arrived ahead of US troops. Cheney, Bush, Rumsfeld, et al thought we had just scared them off. They thought the Shock and Awe had just been overwhelming. Turns out the Iraqi Generals had a plan all along. That's one thing the Neo-cons forgot - things in the Middle East are never what they appear to be. As salaam aleykum, baby.
Baghdad fell too easily. The Special Republican Guards offered almost no resistance. Not even soldiers in the bases near Tikrit when CNN arrived ahead of US troops. Cheney, Bush, Rumsfeld, et al thought we had just scared them off. They thought the Shock and Awe had just been overwhelming. Turns out the Iraqi Generals had a plan all along. That's one thing the Neo-cons forgot - things in the Middle East are never what they appear to be. As salaam aleykum, baby.
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Cheap in More Than One Way
Last night at dinner Nana was telling me how she went to Wal-Mart to get her hair cut and that they had corn on the cob on sale. They were 4 for a dollar. We were eating them and she kept talking about how corn is cheap when it first comes in. They used to by it at Skaggs for 10 for a dollar, or something like that. Finally, I asked her, "How many did you buy?" "Four." "Four? They were so cheap that you only got four?" "Yes, that's all we ever get is four." "No, it isn't. Jean usually gets more than four. Wow, they were so cheap you got a dollar's worth! Did the checkout clerk ask you why you bothered?" I'm laughing hard by now. "No, she didn't." "Did you buy anything else?" "Yes, I got some milk and some cookies." "I'll bet you bought more than just four cookies." "No, I bought four." "You bought four cookies?" "Yeah, four packages." "Yeah, that's what I thought, you bought more than four cookies." I'm still laughing really hard. "'I'll bet you said, 'Wow, that corn is so cheap, I'll buy a dollar's worth." "Well, yes, it was cheap." "It sure was! It was cheap alright." "Cheap in both ways, wasn't it?" "Yes, cheap in both ways."
Last night at dinner Nana was telling me how she went to Wal-Mart to get her hair cut and that they had corn on the cob on sale. They were 4 for a dollar. We were eating them and she kept talking about how corn is cheap when it first comes in. They used to by it at Skaggs for 10 for a dollar, or something like that. Finally, I asked her, "How many did you buy?" "Four." "Four? They were so cheap that you only got four?" "Yes, that's all we ever get is four." "No, it isn't. Jean usually gets more than four. Wow, they were so cheap you got a dollar's worth! Did the checkout clerk ask you why you bothered?" I'm laughing hard by now. "No, she didn't." "Did you buy anything else?" "Yes, I got some milk and some cookies." "I'll bet you bought more than just four cookies." "No, I bought four." "You bought four cookies?" "Yeah, four packages." "Yeah, that's what I thought, you bought more than four cookies." I'm still laughing really hard. "'I'll bet you said, 'Wow, that corn is so cheap, I'll buy a dollar's worth." "Well, yes, it was cheap." "It sure was! It was cheap alright." "Cheap in both ways, wasn't it?" "Yes, cheap in both ways."
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
This Is Not a Test
About 11:30 this morning at work the fire alarm went off. No one had told us about a fire drill (we usually know about them in advance), so we left the building in an orderly manner. We gathered by the monument to fallen Peace Officers. We all thought it was a surprise fire drill, because we had gotten an email last week saying that everyone must participate in the drills. Evidently, some people weren't actually leaving when we had a drill. I can't imagine that to tell you the truth - a government employee not leaving his or her office when given half a chance? Well, anyway, we go to the Peace Officers Memorial, and I start thinking that we used to go down the street to a nearby park and check in at one of the picnic tables. So, I head off in that direction only to run across a group of people from my office coming back from there. They told me that no one was at the picnic table. I went back to the memorial and was gossiping about someone's promotion or lack of it with a person I know, when they come over to get me, because I need to sign in and be accounted for. Shortly after that we re-enter the building. I learned later that it wasn't a surprise fire drill, it was the real thing. There had been a fire on the 5th floor in a file room. It sure was a nice spring day outside. I wonder what will burn around here.
About 11:30 this morning at work the fire alarm went off. No one had told us about a fire drill (we usually know about them in advance), so we left the building in an orderly manner. We gathered by the monument to fallen Peace Officers. We all thought it was a surprise fire drill, because we had gotten an email last week saying that everyone must participate in the drills. Evidently, some people weren't actually leaving when we had a drill. I can't imagine that to tell you the truth - a government employee not leaving his or her office when given half a chance? Well, anyway, we go to the Peace Officers Memorial, and I start thinking that we used to go down the street to a nearby park and check in at one of the picnic tables. So, I head off in that direction only to run across a group of people from my office coming back from there. They told me that no one was at the picnic table. I went back to the memorial and was gossiping about someone's promotion or lack of it with a person I know, when they come over to get me, because I need to sign in and be accounted for. Shortly after that we re-enter the building. I learned later that it wasn't a surprise fire drill, it was the real thing. There had been a fire on the 5th floor in a file room. It sure was a nice spring day outside. I wonder what will burn around here.
Sunday, April 25, 2004
Friday, April 23, 2004
No Bread and Wine for You
So, the Vatican declares that Catholic politicians who are pro-choice should not receive communion. What about pedophiles? Can they still get communion?
So, the Vatican declares that Catholic politicians who are pro-choice should not receive communion. What about pedophiles? Can they still get communion?
Food Is a Drug!
Brain scans of subjects who smelled and tasted foods like ice cream, hamburgers, pizza, and such had the same reactions as drug addicts when craving drugs. The study says the same brain circuits get activated. Now, for the War on Food! Get ready for interdiction of chocolate from Switzerland, pasta from Italy, and well nothing from England, because their food is so bad.
Brain scans of subjects who smelled and tasted foods like ice cream, hamburgers, pizza, and such had the same reactions as drug addicts when craving drugs. The study says the same brain circuits get activated. Now, for the War on Food! Get ready for interdiction of chocolate from Switzerland, pasta from Italy, and well nothing from England, because their food is so bad.
Thursday, April 22, 2004
Ye Shall Be Like Unto A Serpent
Last night Nana was letting the dogs out for the last time before bed, when she saw a snake on our back porch. She came and got me from upstairs. She was scared to death! She was breathing hard and shaking. Anyway, we couldn't find the snake, but the dogs could smell it, and I had to get them to go on out the door. She called to tell me that Papa found the snake on the back porch in the corner where all that junk is by the screen door. She wanted me to know that she wasn't seeing things. I didn't accuse her of seeing things, but she brought it up this morning. She thought that maybe it had just been a "vision." I didn't think it was because the dogs went straight over there smelling all around. If they hadn't done that, then of course I would have thought she was having visions.
Last night Nana was letting the dogs out for the last time before bed, when she saw a snake on our back porch. She came and got me from upstairs. She was scared to death! She was breathing hard and shaking. Anyway, we couldn't find the snake, but the dogs could smell it, and I had to get them to go on out the door. She called to tell me that Papa found the snake on the back porch in the corner where all that junk is by the screen door. She wanted me to know that she wasn't seeing things. I didn't accuse her of seeing things, but she brought it up this morning. She thought that maybe it had just been a "vision." I didn't think it was because the dogs went straight over there smelling all around. If they hadn't done that, then of course I would have thought she was having visions.
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Barely Treading Water
I have a deadline looming, that's becoming harder and harder to meet. I made a committment yesterday that I could have something finished by the close of business on Thursday. Now, I find out that what I thought I had left to do was only part of it! Ay que la chingada! Oy vey, and all those other phrases of distress! God help me.
I have a deadline looming, that's becoming harder and harder to meet. I made a committment yesterday that I could have something finished by the close of business on Thursday. Now, I find out that what I thought I had left to do was only part of it! Ay que la chingada! Oy vey, and all those other phrases of distress! God help me.
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Figment
This morning Papa came out of his room saying that he felt very good, and that he had slept better than he had in a long time. He said he woke up once, having to go to the bathroom, and noticed that there was a woman in his room dancing. She was moving around and casting her shadow on the wall. Nana asked him if she was young (what does that tell ya?), and he said yes. I asked if she had on any clothes (what does that tell ya?), and he said yes she had on some orange kind of pants. He said he just got up and walked right by her on his way to the bathroom, and just ignored her. When he came back, she was gone. I told him that she probably got mad and left because he was ignoring her, he said, "Yeah, she probably did." He said he had taken a pain pill and figured that's why he had that dream. Hmmm...he's got some Vicodin...
This morning Papa came out of his room saying that he felt very good, and that he had slept better than he had in a long time. He said he woke up once, having to go to the bathroom, and noticed that there was a woman in his room dancing. She was moving around and casting her shadow on the wall. Nana asked him if she was young (what does that tell ya?), and he said yes. I asked if she had on any clothes (what does that tell ya?), and he said yes she had on some orange kind of pants. He said he just got up and walked right by her on his way to the bathroom, and just ignored her. When he came back, she was gone. I told him that she probably got mad and left because he was ignoring her, he said, "Yeah, she probably did." He said he had taken a pain pill and figured that's why he had that dream. Hmmm...he's got some Vicodin...
Monday, April 19, 2004
Spring Fever or Something More?
Ever since spring started I've been thinking more and more often about leaving this line of work, or leaving work altogether. Now, that could be because it's spring fever. But, my experience in past years is different. This time I've been thinking a lot about retiring. It just has a different feel this time. I can't exactly retire and draw my pension yet, but...oh well.
Ever since spring started I've been thinking more and more often about leaving this line of work, or leaving work altogether. Now, that could be because it's spring fever. But, my experience in past years is different. This time I've been thinking a lot about retiring. It just has a different feel this time. I can't exactly retire and draw my pension yet, but...oh well.
Saturday, April 17, 2004
Jesus Said...
Verily, I say unto you
The people were not created
For the country
The country was created
For the people
For those with ears to hear
The corporation was not created
For the CEO
Nay, the corporation was created
For the customer
For those with eyes to see
Upside-down is passing
For right side up
Inside-out is cheered
As right side out
Verily, I say unto you
The people were not created
For the country
The country was created
For the people
For those with ears to hear
The corporation was not created
For the CEO
Nay, the corporation was created
For the customer
For those with eyes to see
Upside-down is passing
For right side up
Inside-out is cheered
As right side out
Stumbling Block
Walk slowly, walk carefully
The road is littered with mines
They will surely find your footfall
You can't avoid it
Walk you must, walk you must
When you plant your weight
On the detonator you will be
Shocked, surprised, unbelieving
Not because you didn't know
It would happen
You won't understand
Why now, why here?
What made this time and place
So explosive, so painful
So unexpectedly?
Walk slowly, walk carefully
The road is littered with mines
They will surely find your footfall
You can't avoid it
Walk you must, walk you must
When you plant your weight
On the detonator you will be
Shocked, surprised, unbelieving
Not because you didn't know
It would happen
You won't understand
Why now, why here?
What made this time and place
So explosive, so painful
So unexpectedly?
Friday, April 16, 2004
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Secret Budget and It's Still Not Enough
According to George Tenet the CIA needs 5 years to become "the kind of clandestine service that the US requires." What the hell have they been doing since '93 when the first WTC bombing took place?
According to George Tenet the CIA needs 5 years to become "the kind of clandestine service that the US requires." What the hell have they been doing since '93 when the first WTC bombing took place?
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
They're at It Again!
A couple of months ago my mother was going to have surgery, then wasn't, then was, and so on. Well, now it's my dad, code name "Papa". His doctor told him he wanted him to have a pacemaker. The doctor told him this a week or so ago. Papa thought they were just discussing it and that it might happen sometime in May. Then last week the doctor's office called to tell him that he had surgery scheduled for Thursday April 15. He said, "I must have told them to go ahead." I don't think he has a clue. Well, he wasn't sure he even wanted to go thru this, because, after all, he's almost 85. So, he called the doctor last week, and told them he didn't want to do it. Okay, all is well. The doctor's office calls back and says the doctor wants to talk to him about it, and scheduled an appointment for yesterday. I'm thinking that after their talk, they'll just monitor him and wait on the surgery. Well, right in the middle of it all, he decides he'll just go ahead and do it. He calls the doctor, and tells them he'll go thru with it after all. They say okay, the time slot is still open for Thursday, so he takes it. I get home last night (not feeling well) and find out that he's gone ahead and set this up again! I wasn't included in all this, so I'm not sure I'm even needed to be there.
Just put them in a fucking nursing home, if this ever comes up for you (except for y'all, Jennifer and Kirsten)! This is worse than having 3 year olds, because no one will take action based on the word of a 3 year old alone. But, let me tell you, they'll sure do it on the word of an 80 year old, even tho they are no more reliable than 3 year olds!
A couple of months ago my mother was going to have surgery, then wasn't, then was, and so on. Well, now it's my dad, code name "Papa". His doctor told him he wanted him to have a pacemaker. The doctor told him this a week or so ago. Papa thought they were just discussing it and that it might happen sometime in May. Then last week the doctor's office called to tell him that he had surgery scheduled for Thursday April 15. He said, "I must have told them to go ahead." I don't think he has a clue. Well, he wasn't sure he even wanted to go thru this, because, after all, he's almost 85. So, he called the doctor last week, and told them he didn't want to do it. Okay, all is well. The doctor's office calls back and says the doctor wants to talk to him about it, and scheduled an appointment for yesterday. I'm thinking that after their talk, they'll just monitor him and wait on the surgery. Well, right in the middle of it all, he decides he'll just go ahead and do it. He calls the doctor, and tells them he'll go thru with it after all. They say okay, the time slot is still open for Thursday, so he takes it. I get home last night (not feeling well) and find out that he's gone ahead and set this up again! I wasn't included in all this, so I'm not sure I'm even needed to be there.
Just put them in a fucking nursing home, if this ever comes up for you (except for y'all, Jennifer and Kirsten)! This is worse than having 3 year olds, because no one will take action based on the word of a 3 year old alone. But, let me tell you, they'll sure do it on the word of an 80 year old, even tho they are no more reliable than 3 year olds!
Monday, April 12, 2004
A Theology for Our Times
Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping are here to save your soul (and money)! Hallelujah, Glory Be, Reverend Billy pray for me!
Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping are here to save your soul (and money)! Hallelujah, Glory Be, Reverend Billy pray for me!
Saturday, April 10, 2004
Plane Over Crawford?
The Austin American Statesman reported today that a small airplane got too close to the President's ranch on Friday, and caused fighter jets to be scrambled. The plane landed in San Marcos, and the people on it were questioned. I live south of Crawford by about 75 or 100 miles. My parents were at home yesterday when they heard a loud noise that they thought was an airplane or a low flying helicopter. It turns out that it was the fighter jets chasing the small plane.
The Austin American Statesman reported today that a small airplane got too close to the President's ranch on Friday, and caused fighter jets to be scrambled. The plane landed in San Marcos, and the people on it were questioned. I live south of Crawford by about 75 or 100 miles. My parents were at home yesterday when they heard a loud noise that they thought was an airplane or a low flying helicopter. It turns out that it was the fighter jets chasing the small plane.
Friday, April 09, 2004
Winner by 83%?
Abdellaziz Buteflika has been re-elected President of Algeria by a margin of 83%. C'mon man, make it look at least a little real! Even George Bush knew to steal an election and get away with it, you have to make it look like there was real opposition. This will never fly. Look for some more Jihad.
Abdellaziz Buteflika has been re-elected President of Algeria by a margin of 83%. C'mon man, make it look at least a little real! Even George Bush knew to steal an election and get away with it, you have to make it look like there was real opposition. This will never fly. Look for some more Jihad.
Where's the Door?
Ignorant of their ignorance, yet wise
In their own esteem, these deluded men,
Proud of their vain learning go round and round
Like the blind led by the blind. Far beyond
Their eyes, hypnotized by the world of sense,
Opens the way to immortality.
"I am my body; when my body dies,
I die." Living in this superstition
They fall life after life under my sway.
-Katha Upanishad
Me and Stevie going round and round.
Ignorant of their ignorance, yet wise
In their own esteem, these deluded men,
Proud of their vain learning go round and round
Like the blind led by the blind. Far beyond
Their eyes, hypnotized by the world of sense,
Opens the way to immortality.
"I am my body; when my body dies,
I die." Living in this superstition
They fall life after life under my sway.
-Katha Upanishad
Me and Stevie going round and round.
Thursday, April 08, 2004
We Will Have No Blood on Our Hands
Some call Barcelona the "Peace Capital of the World." Now, there's another reason to do so: Barcelona has banned bullfights. "We are not stinking Castillians, we are Catalans!" Away with your foreign customs!
Some call Barcelona the "Peace Capital of the World." Now, there's another reason to do so: Barcelona has banned bullfights. "We are not stinking Castillians, we are Catalans!" Away with your foreign customs!
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
Tattoos Are Out
Now you can get eye implants of silver, gold or other precious metals. No more having your blue eyes turn gray, or your brown eyes turn hazel. It's available in the Netherlands, where else?
Now you can get eye implants of silver, gold or other precious metals. No more having your blue eyes turn gray, or your brown eyes turn hazel. It's available in the Netherlands, where else?
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
Ken Lay Comes Clean
There's a rumor going around that Ken Lay, former CEO of Enron, has decided to turn himself in to Federal authorities and plead guilty to embezzlement, securities fraud, money laundering, and even mail fraud. It seems he attended a screening of Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" and was overcome with a desire to repent. Oh, if only it's not a rumor!
There's a rumor going around that Ken Lay, former CEO of Enron, has decided to turn himself in to Federal authorities and plead guilty to embezzlement, securities fraud, money laundering, and even mail fraud. It seems he attended a screening of Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" and was overcome with a desire to repent. Oh, if only it's not a rumor!
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Just in Time for Easter
Engineers in Andalucia have developed a robotic arm of Christ for a statue in Malaga that will perform "blesses better." Who said science and religion can't mix?
Engineers in Andalucia have developed a robotic arm of Christ for a statue in Malaga that will perform "blesses better." Who said science and religion can't mix?
Friday, March 12, 2004
Monday, March 08, 2004
They Have a Pill for That Now
Princess Diana made a video before her death saying that the Prince is (or at least was) impotent. And he wanted to be a tampon in Camilla Parker Bowles' cunt? Maybe that's the only way he could get in there.
Princess Diana made a video before her death saying that the Prince is (or at least was) impotent. And he wanted to be a tampon in Camilla Parker Bowles' cunt? Maybe that's the only way he could get in there.
Now, That's What I Call a Protest!
It seems that a homeless couple in Stockholm decided to have sex in public since they had no where else to go. They went to the city center, put a double bed there, and proceded to fuck out in the open. I'll bet that was quite a show. Leave it to those Swedes!
It seems that a homeless couple in Stockholm decided to have sex in public since they had no where else to go. They went to the city center, put a double bed there, and proceded to fuck out in the open. I'll bet that was quite a show. Leave it to those Swedes!
Friday, March 05, 2004
Okay, I Did Resign...
But, I didn't know you were going to take me to the fucking Central African Republic! What kind of exile is THAT? If it had been like last time, you know Venezuela then Washington, I might not be so pissed. You found the only country in the world that might actually be poorer than Haiti to take me to! C'mon, you think I'm crazy? Hey, even Cedros got Panama for God's sake! Baby Doc? He gets France, and what do I get?...Bangui in the Central African Fucking Republic!
But, I didn't know you were going to take me to the fucking Central African Republic! What kind of exile is THAT? If it had been like last time, you know Venezuela then Washington, I might not be so pissed. You found the only country in the world that might actually be poorer than Haiti to take me to! C'mon, you think I'm crazy? Hey, even Cedros got Panama for God's sake! Baby Doc? He gets France, and what do I get?...Bangui in the Central African Fucking Republic!
Monday, March 01, 2004
He's Not the First to Do It...
But, he is the first President to do it. It seems that Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela, called George W. a pendejo! Awright, Hugo! Tell it like is is!
But, he is the first President to do it. It seems that Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela, called George W. a pendejo! Awright, Hugo! Tell it like is is!
Sunday, February 29, 2004
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
So You Wanna Be an Air Traffic Controller?
Think again. The air traffic controller on duty when two planes collided in the air near the German-Swiss border was killed by an attacker who figured out who he was.
Think again. The air traffic controller on duty when two planes collided in the air near the German-Swiss border was killed by an attacker who figured out who he was.
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
The Stinking French Have Banned the Hijab...
Let's attack the Americans! What? It's the FRENCH, Ayman, not us! We didn't ban the fucking hijab! In fact, people wear them all over the place, along with crosses, and Stars of David. We have something called Freedom of Religion, you stupid cocksucker! You wouldn't know freedom of religion from your shit-stained underwear. Give me a break, and get back in your cave with all those other backward mother-fuckers!
Let's attack the Americans! What? It's the FRENCH, Ayman, not us! We didn't ban the fucking hijab! In fact, people wear them all over the place, along with crosses, and Stars of David. We have something called Freedom of Religion, you stupid cocksucker! You wouldn't know freedom of religion from your shit-stained underwear. Give me a break, and get back in your cave with all those other backward mother-fuckers!
Monday, February 23, 2004
Look Who's Gay!
I heard over the weekend that the Governor's wife, Anita, has moved out of the Governor's Mansion, because she is seeking a divorce. It seems she caught him in bed with a male intern. There's a different story that says it was the Secretary of State, but either way, the Governor who is so pro family, so anti-gay, got caught fucking a man! It's just not okay to be gay in Texas.
I heard over the weekend that the Governor's wife, Anita, has moved out of the Governor's Mansion, because she is seeking a divorce. It seems she caught him in bed with a male intern. There's a different story that says it was the Secretary of State, but either way, the Governor who is so pro family, so anti-gay, got caught fucking a man! It's just not okay to be gay in Texas.
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
Camelot in Texas?
Yes, at least Avalon in Texas. We stayed at a bed and breakfast called Castle Avalon. It is built in the form of a castle and has all the appropriate decorations. It's a little difficult to tell if it's serious or kitsch. Either way, it was fun!
Yes, at least Avalon in Texas. We stayed at a bed and breakfast called Castle Avalon. It is built in the form of a castle and has all the appropriate decorations. It's a little difficult to tell if it's serious or kitsch. Either way, it was fun!
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